


Renegade Dawn

by somethingmorecreative



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, BAMF Keith (Voltron), BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bonding, Co-pilot klance, Drift Compatibility, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, M/M, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Mutual Pining, Past Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 82,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingmorecreative/pseuds/somethingmorecreative
Summary: The connection between them trembles as they each try and gain more control. Keith wants to destroy all the barriers between them so they can work together; Lance wants to work with him without everything they have being lost to each other. They don’t have a common ground. There’s no way that they’re ever going to be drift compatible, Lance knew it—“We might be!” Keith shouts, reading Lance’s thoughts like they’re his own.“We’re not!” Lance screams right back.The tension is heavy, it’s so tight that everything feels too hot, like he’s burning and—Everything shatters, splinters, and falls to pieces.;;a klance pacific rim au
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Allura & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 175
Kudos: 696
Collections: TDQ_FAVORITES, TDQ_Voltron





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi friends!! I'm very excited to finally share the klance pacific rim au with y'all. It's gonna be 12 chapters, and I'll post two chaps a week, Sundays and Wednesdays, I think. I wanna thank @maireeps for being a GREAT beta and soundboard and also amazing co-author on MTA (the zombie apocalypse au, if you haven't read it, go now!), @chutzpahhooplah for keeping me realistic in this and helping with plot points, and @dreamdreaded for being a cheerleader and reminding me to get my homework done too. thanks friends!! I love y'all 
> 
> ALSO wanna thank all the great readers we have for MTA because y'all made me very excited to post and share this when I wasn't planning to in the first place. Let me know what y'all think! Leave me some comments about your favorite parts of the chapter and what you're hoping for later in the fic. If you wanna talk more about it, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative 
> 
> Good luck reading xoxo

**January 2021—Year 14 of the Kaiju War**

Lance joins the military because of a vendetta against the Kaiju and a dream to save the world by becoming a Jaeger pilot.

It’s been his dream since he was ten. He’s wanted this more than he’s ever wanted anything else. His whole life has been driven by this goal, and the day after he graduates high school, he goes down to the military’s office in his hometown and signs up. Two weeks later, he’s shipped out to the Garrison Base in the middle of the desert to go through basic training.

“You don’t have to do this, _mijo_ ,” his mother tells him when they’re standing in front of the car that’s taking him to the airport. She’s holding his hand, and his younger brother and sister are standing behind them.

Lance thinks about his dad and his older sister. He thinks about the day that the Kaiju, Hammerjaw, destroyed L.A. and tormented them. He thinks about being at his dad’s restaurant with his sister when it all happened, how they were hunted down, cornered in an alleyway. He remembers his dad, gripping him and his sister by their shoulders, hunkering down in the rubble and singing to them softly in Spanish.

“It’s all going to be okay. I love you,” he had murmured, right before Hammerjaw roared and took both of them away from Lance forever.

Now, he blinks his tears back and reaches out to hug his mom one more time. He murmurs, “Yeah, I do.”

Life at the Garrison isn’t what Lance had expected, but he adapts quickly. He thought it would be a few weeks of training, then straight to a Jaeger base where he could meet a co-pilot and start fighting in the war. He thought that the military would be pushing out pilots faster than ever since Kaiju activity had skyrocketed from 2018. He thought it would be quick training and an even quicker placement.

He’s wrong. The Garrison puts him and all the other young recruits through the wringer. The training is harder than anything he’s ever done in his life, and the classes that he and the other cadets take test him just as much as well. It’s hell, but Lance keeps his eyes on the prize and works his ass off. He keeps a picture of his dad and sister taped to his wall beside the rest of his family, and every morning before training and class, he touches it and thinks about the day he will step into a Jaeger to finally right some wrongs and get justice for his family and the rest of the world.

At the Garrison, he makes the best friend he’s ever had in his life. His name is Hunk, and he’s from the Samoan Islands. He’s the same age as Lance, but he’s in the engineering class instead of fighter pilot. When they first meet, Lance tells Hunk of his dreams to pilot a Jaeger, and Hunk grins at him wide and says, “That’s so cool! I want to build them.”

Lance and Hunk make it through three years of basic and advanced training when the Garrison begins initiating the test for drift ability. Once the possible candidates for the Jaeger program are singled out, they get placed into a different training program at a base, one of the Shatterdomes, on the Pacific rim.

The morning that Lance has his test is bright. The desert is warm and cold at the same time in January, and Lance is more nervous and excited than he’s been since he signed up for the military.

Because his nerves are so unsteady, Hunk walks him down to the testing arena. It’s a quick test, one that only takes a few minutes. The simplicity of the test scares a lot of people; you can either drift or not. It’s that easy.

Lance is terrified and confident at the same time. This is his dream. This is everything he’s ever wanted all wrapped up in ten minutes.

“You’re going to do great,” Hunk tells him, all smiles. “We’ll celebrate when you finish, okay?”

Lance takes a deep breath, “Okay, dude. Thanks.”

Hunk leaves him just outside of the testing center, where one of the instructors signs him in and tells him to wait until the previous cadet is finished with his test.

And when that cadet comes out, Lance should have really known who it was going to be.

Keith fucking Kogane has been a pain in his ass ever since he got to the Garrison. Keith is an unruly, arrogant, prickly bastard. He’s always one step ahead of Lance in everything that they ever do, and he makes sure that Lance knows it. Not to mention that he has the ugliest mullet in the history of hair.

It doesn’t help that when Lance tried to make friends with Keith one of the first days they were here, Keith blew him off and acted like he didn’t exist.

Keith Kogane walks out of the training center and glances at Lance. His dark eyes don’t reveal anything, and he keeps walking as if nothing’s happened. He can’t help but wonder how Keith’s test went.

“Sanchez,” one of the officers calls. Lance jerks up from his chair. “Let’s go.”

They lead him into the room and sit him down in a chair. He doesn’t let his nerves show. Two of the officers place a metal ring riddled with sensors on his head, then they add sensors to his skin down his arms and under his shirt.

“You’re going to feel a slight prick,” one of the officers says. Her face is serious. “You’ll know if it works.”

They hook something into the headband that he can’t see, and then, there’s a sharp pinch and Lance gasps as he’s thrown into his memories.

It’s almost too fast for him to watch. He sees his family, his mom and siblings, L.A., driving his first car, working his first job, his first kiss, his dad and his sister. His memories darken; he remembers watching the news, the destruction of the coastal cities along the Pacific Ocean, feeling so enraged and helpless that the only thing he could think about was piloting a Jaeger. The Kaiju, up close, him screaming, his dad and sister—

Lance comes out of his memories with another gasp and lurches forward.

It takes him a few seconds to catch his breath, but when he does, he sees his superior officer, Iverson, in the corner of the room, nodding at a screen in approval. He glances over to Lance and nods as well, “Congratulations, cadet. Looks like you have drift ability.”

He sighs in relief and feels something inside him slot into place. The other officers unhook him and help him to his feet, and Lance is so relieved that he salutes Iverson and leaves without saying anything at all.

Hunk catches him coming out of the room and asks excitedly, “How did it go?”

Lance bursts into tears and drops his head to Hunk’s shoulder, overwhelmed and inexplicably sad because of the memories he’s seen. It was like being there all over again. Over his tears, he says, “It was awesome. I have drift ability.”

;;

The next day, Lance gets pulled out of his mechanics class by one of the senior officers. They take him to the training deck, where there is a line of other cadets. Lance knows most of them from his other classes, recognizes them in the sense that he’s seen them around but doesn’t talk to them often. There are seven of them including—

_Keith Kogane._

Lance blanches. Keith Kogane has drift ability? Of fucking course he does. There isn’t a universe or reality that exists where he’s better than Keith at _something._

Keith either doesn’t notice him or doesn’t care that he’s got drift ability too. He doesn’t look over at Lance, staring straight ahead at Iverson pacing in front of the line.

Lance joins the rest of the cadets in line and waits. Other than the seven cadets and Keith, there are a few more officers in the room, along with a man that Lance doesn’t recognize. He’s wearing a pair of military blue pants with a matching sweater, and he has a pair of dog tags around his neck. His hair is orange, and his huge mustache and eyebrows match the color perfectly.

“Thanks for finally joining us, Sanchez,” Iverson remarks, and for however proud of Lance he had been yesterday, he’s back to his usual angry and snide remarks. Lance snaps his attention back to his commanding officer.

“Alright, cadets,” Iverson begins, voice echoing across the training deck. “Out of everyone we tested yesterday, the seven of you have the ability to drift. Congratulations. From here, we’re releasing five of you to different Jaeger programs around the world where you will begin your pilot training. Smith, Kelley, Robins, Johnson, and Rodriguez, we’re awaiting your placement and should have the results within the week. Dismissed.”

Lance feels his heart sink. Iverson didn’t call his name. What the hell does that mean? But, he didn’t call Keith’s either. What’s going on?

The other cadets file out of the room, and Lance automatically takes two steps to his right, forming the line again. He feels Keith do the same, but he doesn’t look over at him.

“Kogane, Sanchez,” Iverson starts, stopping in front of the two of them. Lance’s heart is beating too fast in his chest. “You may have noticed I didn’t call either of your names.”

“Yes, sir,” they say at the exact same time.

“Well, let me introduce you two to Professor Coran,” he continues, gesturing to the man in the corner of the room with the mustache. “He’s the lead researcher and recruiter for the International Jaeger Program with the Pan Pacific Defense Corps.”

The man, Professor Coran, steps forward. He has a heavy Australian accent when he starts speaking, “Nice to meet you, boys. I’m here because of your percentages on the Drift Ability tests you were given yesterday.”

Lance frowns and opens his mouth—

Keith beats him to it, like always, and there’s that same pinch of jealousy in Lance. Keith asks, “What about them?”

Iverson frowns at Keith, but Professor Coran brightens and continues, voice even louder and accent even thicker, “I’m glad you asked! You see, you and your fellow cadet’s percentages on the Drift Ability tests were higher than any numbers we’ve ever seen from candidates your age! It’s quite amazing, actually. When your commanding officers sent the Marshall the reports, I flew directly out here to see it myself.”

There’s a second of silence, and Lance looks over at Keith, who thankfully looks just as confused as he feels. He says, “Um, sir, what do you mean? Why does it matter if our scores were higher?”

“High scores reflect higher probability of immediate success in the Jaeger program,” Professor Coran exclaims. “Candidates that have high scores on the Drift Ability tests are often the most successful in Jaegers fighting the Kaiju. When we come across scores such as these, we prefer to fast track the candidates to one of the more active Shatterdomes in the world.”

Lance looks over to Keith again, and his expression is full of surprise too. Lance doesn’t… he doesn’t know how this is possible. It feels like all of his dreams just came true in one go. He’s going to be placed in a Shatterdome. One day, he’s going to pilot a motherfucking _Jaeger_.

“However,” Professor Coran says, and Lance hesitates, “there was also some other, more interesting data when we compared both of your scores. It seems that the both of you tested so high and so comparably that we have no other choice but to wonder if the two of you perhaps have drift compatibility.”

Lance jerks back like he’s been burned because honestly, _what the fuck?_ There’s no way in hell that he would ever, ever, _ever_ be drift compatible with Keith _fucking_ Kogane.

“So,” the Aussie continues, oblivious to Lance’s inner turmoil, “your superior officers have agreed to allow me and my team to run a drift test on you. It won’t be in a real Jaeger, of course, just in a simulator. Assuming our data and predictions are correct and the two of you are in fact drift compatible, we’ll move both of you to start co-pilot training.”

Lance doesn’t understand. He feels like this is all a joke. Surely, one of the officers in the room will start laughing and someone will yell _gotcha!_ and they’ll all laugh about how ridiculous this sounds. There’s no way that the two of them could be drift compatible. No fucking way.

“We’ll start the simulation this afternoon,” Professor Coran finishes. “Rest up; this won’t be easy.”

With that, he files out of the room, followed by Iverson and the other officers, which leaves Lance and Keith standing in the room alone.

Keith clears his throat and turns to look at him, and Lance feels his face heat up for no reason at all. Keith is just—he’s so _infuriating._

“Um,” Keith stammers a little before holding his hand out for a handshake. “I’m Keith.”

Lance stares at him, annoyed that Keith is actually introducing himself right now as if he has no fucking clue who Lance is. He sneers, “I know who you are, Keith. We’ve had classes together for three years.”

Keith frowns too and drops his hand, “Okay.”

Yeah. There’s no way he’s drift compatible with him.

It gets worse when Keith asks, “What’s your name?”

Lance actually sees red before he answers, “Uh, the name’s Lance. We’ve been in the same fucking classes.”

“Really? Are you an engineer?”

“No, I’m a pilot! We’re like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck?”

Keith looks at him blankly, and Lance turns away from him and throws his hands up into the air, frustrated that he’s even having this conversation. He hates Keith more now that the stupid bastard doesn’t even know his name. They’ve been competing for the same, top spot in their classes since they started training, and Keith never even bothered with learning his name.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Keith says, a few seconds later. “We’re not rivals. We have to do this simulation together in a few hours.”

There’s something about the way that Keith says it that makes Lance even angrier. He turns and walks toward the door, “Yeah, well, my score on the Drift Ability test was just as high as yours, so don’t get a big head about it, mullet.”

“I didn’t. I don’t—fuck, you’re such an idiot!”

Lance flips him off and stalks out of the room.

;;

“And so apparently our Drift Ability results were so similar that they think Keith and I might be drift compatible.”

“What?” Hunk exclaims. They’re sitting in their barracks, and Lance is leaning against Hunk’s shoulder while the other boy does his engineering assignment. It’s only a few more hours until he has to report back for the simulation. “That’s amazing! Drift compatibility isn’t supposed to even be possible until you finish training in a full Jaeger program.”

Lance sighs, “It’s not amazing, Hunk. Keith is so… There’s no way we could ever be compatible with each other. He didn’t even know my fucking _name_.”

“Yeah, but… Lance, if both of your scores were the highest scores on the record for Drift Ability _and_ the two of you were drift compatible, you and Keith might be the strongest Jaeger pilots in the world,” Hunk explains, all patience and excitement.

It should make Lance excited too. That would be… He’s dreamed of piloting a Jaeger since he was eight years old, but the thought of piloting with Keith, of allowing Keith into his head and expecting him to accept Lance for _everything_ is terrifying to him. He doesn’t know if he could do it.

But Hunk is staring at him now and he’s been such a good friend that Lance just sighs and mumbles, “I’ll do my best.”

;;

Lance promises that he _does_ try his best. It’s not his fault that they fail epically and spectacularly. It’s all _Keith’s_ fault.

The simulation starts out simple enough. Lance does his best to avoid looking at Keith while Professor Coran and the rest of his team dress them in black bodysuits. From the looks of them, they look like incomplete drivesuits that real Jaeger pilots use. Even though he’s pissed as hell that he’s having to do this with Keith, it makes him really excited about the future.

The team guides him and Keith over to a station a few feet away. It looks like what Lance imagines the inside of the cockpit of a Jaeger looks like, incomplete of course. There are pedals where the pilot’s feet go, an overhanging communication system, and a dash and control panel filled with different weapon options and controls.

One of the officers grips Lance’s shoulders while he steps onto the pedals, and his feet slide into place and stay there because of the magnets in his suit. It’s weird, and Lance breathes out a small laugh at the feeling.

“Alright, boys,” Professor Coran starts, “we’re going to finish setting up the simulator, and then, we’ll begin the test. You haven’t had any training whatsoever, so we’re not expecting a miracle from you. Whatever the results may be, both of you will still be placed in a Jaeger program to begin your pilot training, understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Lance and Keith speak at the same time again. The officers at their sides continue to hook up different lines and cables to their suits.

Professor Coran nods, “Good. Now, you both know about the drift. It’s a neural connection between two pilots that allow them to pilot a Jaeger together. When you drift with someone, you learn everything about them and them to you. I won’t lie, it is one of the most intense sensations in the world. There is a reason that only a select few have the ability to drift; finding someone that you’re drift compatible with is integrally important to the Jaeger Program. The strongest pilots and Jaegers are always drift compatible.”

Lance doesn’t really have anything to ask at that. He understands how important this is. He _knows_ that the literal safety of the world depends on the Jaeger pilots defending Earth from the Kaiju. It just—he’s excited about maybe being drift compatible with someone, but he doesn’t think that someone can be _Keith Kogane._

“Initializing simulation,” an officer says from where he is standing behind a control panel on the opposite end of the room. Professor Coran moves over to the monitors as well. The officer on Lance’s side crosses the room too, leaving him and Keith alone, hooked to a simulator that will be used to give Keith access to his mind.

Fuck, Keith is going to see _everything._ All of Lance’s memories, all of his thoughts and feelings and—he’s going to be able to read Lance’s mind.

And then Lance is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life. Keith Kogane, the incarnation of perfection, is going to see every single flaw that Lance has. He’s going to see everything that terrifies Lance and all of his weaknesses. He’s going to—

“Initiating neural handshake,” the officer at the control panel says, and Lance gasps as he feels a sharp pinch somewhere deep in his mind.

The simulation room is ripped away and replaced with a series of black and white scenes, and it takes Lance a few seconds to realize that they’re _memories_. They come so quickly and are replaced so often that it almost makes Lance sick. He sees his mom and siblings, the streets in his neighborhood—

Figures that he doesn’t recognize. Two adults looming over him, too skewed in shadows to see their faces. Then, there’s a horse with a soft pelt when Lance brushes his fingers through it.

Lance’s first car; his first girlfriend smiling at him over the console.

He’s in a library that he doesn’t recognize, running his fingers over the shelves, grabbing mystery novels from the stacks. Outside in a parking lot, a fist flying toward his face, a group of boys crowded around him.

“You don’t have to do this, mijo,” his mother says, crying outside of their house.

“Congratulations, Keith! You got accepted!” The man with a scar over his nose smiles.

Empty streets, destroyed buildings. The angry roar of a Kaiju. Screaming. There’s so much screaming.

A woman looks at him and brushes his hair off his head. The language she speaks doesn’t make sense to him, but somehow he knows she’s saying _Be brave, my love._

Lance’s dad. “It’s all going to be okay. I love you.”

The image of his dad forces Lance back to his senses. _Holy shit._ He’s—they’re. This is real! They’re connected. They’re drifting. Fuck, he and Keith are—

Holy fuck, Keith.

Lance puts the metaphorical brakes onto this car. He can’t have Keith seeing _everything_ in his head. He just—they only need to stay connected enough for them to realize that they _aren’t_ drift compatible. Besides, they can work with each other without knowing everything. Keith doesn’t need to know what happened to his dad. He doesn’t need to know how terrified he is of this.

He pulls up walls around himself. He visualizes a brick wall and pulls it up around everything that’s too important and special for Keith to know. He takes the image of his dad and his older sister and tucks it right into the middle in his walls.

After, when he tentatively reaches out, he can _feel_ Keith. It’s so weird and awesome and amazing that it makes him shiver.

There’s a rough push, and Lance realizes that Keith is shoving him back. It’s almost like they’re playing tug-of-war, except they’re shoving one another farther away instead of pulling each other closer.

“Stop fucking around in my head,” Keith growls. “Take your stupid walls down.”

Lance shoves back against him just because he can. “Let’s just do this.”

“We _are_ doing this. Take the walls down, dumbass.”

He feels Keith coming closer through the connection, crossing over into what Lance would assume is _his_ side of their bridge. He stomps around, right up to where Lance has his walls high up and reaches into it to tear it down.

“Stop!” Lance snaps.

“You have to cooperate, you asshole. You think Jaeger pilots do this in the drift? No! They trust their fucking co-pilot!” Keith snarls, hammering at the walls that Lance has created around the most important parts of himself.

Lance shoves Keith back and reaches forward for him, and there’s a distinct flash of panic from Keith when he gets closer to Keith’s own memories and Lance thinks _Ha!_ before diving forward.

Keith pushes back, and they wrestle against the other, trying to gain the upper hand. There are so many thoughts, feelings, memories flowing between them and around them that Lance has a hard time trying to distinguish what’s his and what’s Keith’s.

“We have to work together,” Keith spits, all kinds of angry.

“I can literally _feel_ how much you don’t want to work with me, idiot!”

The connection between them trembles as they each try and gain more control. Keith wants to destroy all the barriers between them so they can work together; Lance wants to work with him without everything they have being lost to each other. They don’t have a common ground. There’s no way that they’re ever going to be drift compatible, Lance _knew it—_

“We might be!” Keith shouts, reading Lance’s thoughts like they’re his own.

“We’re _not!_ ” Lance screams right back.

The tension is heavy, it’s so tight that everything feels too hot, like he’s burning and—

Everything shatters, splinters, falls to pieces.

Lance physically jerks back, and when he blinks, he’s back in the simulation room, staring at the floor where the pedals and the magnetized drivesuit are holding him to the ground. He’s panting, trying to catch his breath, and his vision is swimming a little. He feels like he needs to sit down.

When he reaches out with his mind, he’s relieved to find that the space where Keith had been earlier is completely empty, only retaining leftover memories and feelings from the neural connection.

He risks a glance over at Keith, who looks to be in about the same state as he is. Keith is fighting to get his breath back as well, and he’s shaking a little—

And there’s blood dripping from his nose.

Lance reaches up to touch his own face, slightly horrified when he pulls his hand away to see blood on his fingertips.

“Simulation failed,” the officer speaks suddenly, and the voice forces Lance even more firmly into reality. “Neural connection terminated.”

“Get them to the infirmary and do a full physical,” Professor Coran orders in his heavy accent. The officers step forward and start unhooking them from the simulator. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Keith stumble as he takes a step forward, and despite himself, Lance does the same when he steps off the pedals.

Lance clutches the forearms of the officer and walks forward, following the other officer and Keith to the infirmary. Professor Coran continues speaking as they leave the room, but Lance’s head is still spinning. He needs all of his focus to keep his legs under him, so he doesn’t hear whatever is happening as they leave.

;;

Lance passes his physical, as usual, and he assumes Keith does the same because after they’re finished, the officers lead them into another bare room and sit them down on the same cot, leaving them with a bottle of water each.

Subtly, Lance edges away from Keith. Neither of them says anything.

A few minutes later, Professor Coran, Iverson, and a few other superior officers file into the room. Lance knows that his nose isn’t bleeding anymore, but he reaches up to swipe at his face anyway.

He’s nervous. He doesn’t know what they’re going to say. It’s pretty clear that he and Keith failed spectacularly at the simulation.

Iverson gets right to the point, “Well, boys, looks like you two failed the simulation. Congrats, you’re not drift compatible.”

Something inside Lance breaks. He was expecting to feel relieved, and while he is, he can’t help but also feel like they could have done something differently. Like maybe if they had been at a different time or place, he and Keith could have made this work. He feels like they’re failing someone, possibly the world, maybe just the two of them. He isn’t sure what he feels.

Lance forces himself not to look over at Keith.

“If it’s any consolation, it was a beautiful first drift attempt, I must say,” Professor Coran says. “The connection and the drift were both strong, despite your incompatibility. My team and I are confident that both of you will succeed in a Jaeger Program.”

“But not as co-pilots,” Keith says, and his voice is so dry that Lance can’t figure out if he’s relieved or not.

Professor Coran shakes his head, “Not as co-pilots. You two almost destroyed each other. It was quite impressive. I’ve never seen that kind of control and strength from young candidates such as yourself. After you complete your training, I’m sure you will both be wonderful pilots.”

Iverson clears his throat forcibly and says, “As promised, the two of you will receive your placement at a Shatterdome within the week. You are to continue your training with Garrison compliance up until that point. Understood?”

Lance nods. He sees Keith nod as well.

“Good luck to both of you,” Professor Coran says, biding them farewell. “I’m sure we’ll meet again in the future.”

Iverson, Professor Coran, and the other officers leave the room, and Lance sighs loudly, rubbing his hand against his temples. His head is aching.

Keith edges off the cot and drops to the ground. He takes a few steps toward the door and hesitates, like he has something to say but doesn’t know how to say it. Lance thinks about the drift and how he had just been feeling everything that Keith had felt. It’s an odd thing to think about.

He says it for them, “Don’t bother, Keith.”

Keith doesn’t turn around to look at him. Instead, he nods and walks out of the room.

Lance doesn’t let it hurt. He doesn’t need Keith to be a successful Jaeger pilot. He has drift ability. Just because he wasn’t drift compatible with Keith, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be drift compatible with someone else. Someone who is better for him. Someone he can trust.

Lance doesn’t need Keith to be able to achieve his dreams. The first step is finished. He has drift ability. He even has one of the highest scores for drift ability.

In a few months, Lance will be piloting a motherfucking Jaeger with an amazing co-pilot, saving and protecting the world from the Kaiju. He doesn’t need anyone to tell him that he can do it.

He gets up from the cot and starts walking toward his future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kaiju roars in agony as the plasmacaster blows through its chest and destroys the heart cavity. Its empty screams echo off of the buildings and the partially destroyed Wall of Life in Los Angeles as it collapses.
> 
> “Great job, beautiful!” Lance exclaims, moving into a complete standing position on the gyro-stabilizers, the elliptical pedals that hold him in place in the cockpit of their Jaeger. 
> 
> “Are you okay?” Allura asks, looking over at him through her helmet. She looks tired, but her eyes are bright, just like they are after every Kaiju kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! I'm very excited to share this chapter with you! Thanks for all the great comments and kudos so far, they really make me more excited to write and post more fic so keep it up!! Let me know what you think about this fic, what your fav moments are, or what you're hoping for soon. If you wanna chat more, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 or on twitter @smorecreative
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

**September 2029—Year 22 of the Kaiju War**

The Kaiju roars in agony as the plasmacaster blows through its chest and destroys the heart cavity. Its empty screams echo off of the buildings and the partially destroyed Wall of Life in Los Angeles as it collapses.

“Great job, beautiful!” Lance exclaims, moving into a complete standing position on the gyro-stabilizers, the elliptical pedals that hold him in place in the cockpit.

“Are you okay?” Allura asks, looking over at him through her helmet. She looks tired, but her eyes are bright, just like they are after every Kaiju kill. Clawtooth, codename for the Kaiju that attacked Southern California early this morning, had gone down after a long fight. Some of the coast was destroyed in the battle, with a large piece of the completed and supposedly indestructible wall torn to shreds.

Lance nods, surveying the Kaiju’s body where it’s scattered in pieces around them. He says, “Yep. I’m glad we were here. This son of a bitch would have ruined L.A.”

“Riptide, get back to the coast and prepare for pickup,” the voice interrupts from the comm system, speaking over the heavy noise in the cockpit of their Jaeger. Lance and Allura don’t recognize the voice, but that’s probably because there are only a few officers left at the Shatterdome. Even Lance, Allura, and their Jaeger, Sunshine Riptide, had been only half an hour from being relocated to Hong Kong when the Kaiju was tracked heading toward L.A.

Through the drift, Lance can feel how angry Allura is about them being relocated. He hums along with her, equally as pissed, and they start walking back toward the coast, crushing the skull of Clawtooth for good measure. Fuck Kaiju.

“It’s bullshit that we’re doing this,” Allura grumbles aloud, even though she knows Lance can feel and hear everything in her head. She must be really angry to vocalize it too. “The only reason L.A. isn’t in ruins is because of us.”

“I know,” Lance agrees, tapping at the control panel hanging from the roof of the cockpit. “I thought the Wall of Life was supposed to be indestructible and keep everyone safe, but this bastard tore through the wall in less than twenty minutes. Cutting the Jaeger Program is a bad idea.”

Allura hums in agreement, and they trudge toward the coast.

The first time that Lance met Allura was one of the most embarrassing and best things to ever happen to him. After the Garrison, Lance received his placement at the Shatterdome in Los Angeles. It was a miracle really; L.A. had been his top choice because it was close to his family and it was still one of the more active bases on the Pacific Rim.

Lance had been brought into the Jaeger Program, the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps, with a dozen other new candidates from across the world, including Allura. Lance had spotted her first, standing in line with the other cadets, all beauty and grace. She hadn’t even glanced his way, which obviously meant that she was just his type. After the briefing from their superior officer (that Lance had barely listened to; he had been fantasizing about his future with Allura, whose name he hadn’t even known at the time), Lance had walked up to her, smirked, and said, “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”

Allura had stared at him for half a second before slamming her knee into his crotch. She’d left him curled up on the ground, moaning and biting back tears as the other cadets laughed.

Later that day, when they were being paired up for physical training, one of the officers paired him with Allura, and she had frowned at him before throwing the first punch.

Lance dodged, sweating nervously. His voice shook more than he wanted to admit when he said, “Listen, about earlier—”

She threw him on the ground and smirked, “Do you believe in doctors? Because you’re going to need some serious medical attention when I’m done with you.”

Honestly, the heart eyes that Lance had for Allura just got worse after that.

His training from the Garrison finally kicked in, and after a few minutes of her thoroughly kicking his ass, he was able to get back into the fight. Once he was paying attention, he discovered that they were somewhat evenly matched. She was good, but Lance could keep up and hold his own too.

They drew a decent sized crowd. Eventually, Lance thought that their superior officer came over to watch as well, but he was so focused on the fight and the energy between him and Allura that he wasn’t paying attention to anything else.

Allura had him pined to the ground, and Lance was fighting his way out of it when a sharp whistle broke his concentration. Then, a voice barked, “Enough!”

Both him and Allura turned to look. A few officers were standing there, along with the Marshall. Lance immediately rolled to his feet, face burning, wondering what they had done wrong.

“Interesting,” the Marshall had said, raising an eyebrow. “It seems as though the two of you are drift compatible.”

And the rest had been history.

Lance and Allura started their training together then, since they were ahead of the other pilots in their program who hadn’t found a co-pilot yet. The Marshall and their commanding officers all kept a close eye on their training, and after two years, they started building Lance and Allura’s Jaeger, a Mark IV angel, if Lance was honest. He and Allura had fought with the engineers over her name and design for _weeks_.

They became best friends somewhere along the way. The first time that they had done a drift test, it had been so different from the last time, the time he had tried with Keith. With Allura, he had all the training that he and Keith hadn’t had. He understood exactly what the drift was and how it worked; he knew what he needed to give to make this work with Allura.

He wasn’t even worried about drifting with Allura. It had been as easy as breathing.

Now, as he thinks about it, he can feel Allura going through his memories with him, smiling at several of the times they’ve had together so far.

Lance wonders what they’ll do if the Jaeger Program is completely decommissioned.

The tone in the drift shifts enough for Allura to speak again. She says, “That won’t happen. The Wall isn’t a good enough defensive tactic. Jaegers are the only thing strong enough to fight the Kaiju.”

“What if we’re moved over to Hong Kong and they ground us?” Lance asks.

Allura is worried about it, he can tell through the drift, but she says, “I don’t think that will happen. Sunshine Riptide is the most successful Jaeger that’s still operational. The only Jaeger that had stronger pilots and more drop-kills than us at the time was Black Paladin.”

“Yeah, and that worked out well for them,” Lance mutters, voice bitter and sad at the same time.

Allura prods at the feeling gently, but Lance guides her away from it. Even though it’s been three years, he’s still not ready to share that aloud with her. She’s seen everything, of course, but drifting with someone is different. There are things that Lance has seen in Allura’s memories that he would never dare ask her about. This just happens to be one of his.

“That was a freak accident,” Allura challenges him, secure in it now, after years of thinking about it, worrying over it, regretting it. “It was before the new system for categorizing the Kaiju was developed. If they had known that Kaiju was a Category 3, they never would have sent Black Paladin in without backup.”

“I know,” he sighs. He doesn’t argue with her, mostly because she’s right, but also because he’s tired. They’d been deployed at 2:45 this morning, and it was well past 08:00 now. Lance needed a nap.

They walk the rest of the way in silence. As they leave the city, it starts to wake up behind them. There are several helicopters zipping through the skies, getting close enough to film them as they walk. Absently, Lance hopes that someone has gotten their kill on camera so it will play repeatedly for the next couple of days. It would be a good thing for the world to see. Despite the destruction of the city and the potential lives that had been lost, the United Nations needs to know that defunding the Jaeger Program is a terrible idea. If Sunshine Riptide hadn’t been here, all of L.A. could have been destroyed.

The helicopters and the loading ship are waiting for them at the coast, and as they make their way over to it, Lance grins at Allura and says, “You wanna wave to the crowds?”

She laughs, bright and easy, and they both turn and lift their arm to wave in the direction of the city.

“Please proceed onto the loading dock, Riptide,” the voice from base replies, probably completely aware (and unhappy, if Lance has to guess) at their publicity stunt.

He smirks over at Allura, and they follow orders.

;;

“Prepare for drop,” the AI hums through the cockpit, and Lance and Allura jerk as the helicopters release them. They drop to the ocean, hitting the water and seafloor with a sharp thud. They’ve been dropped far enough out that they can barely see the coastline because the impact from the drop can often cause a small earthquake if they are too close to any fault lines. In a fight with the Kaiju, it doesn’t seem as important, and the Wall does help avoid damage to the city, but the Jaegers have to be careful when being transported.

Which means that Lance and Allura have to walk all the way over to the Shatterdome now.

Once they’re standing upright, Allura picks up her right foot, and Lance echoes her immediately. They walk through the water, and the coastline gets closer and bigger with every step.

Through the drift, Lance can see that Allura is thinking about the last time they were here in Hong Kong, when they fought against the Kaiju with two other Jaegers: Metal Lipstick and Black Paladin.

It had been a legendary battle. It was the first time that there had ever been a double event—two Kaiju coming through the breach at once. They had lurked down the Pacific and descended upon Hong Kong hour after their arrival. Sunshine Riptide had been deployed from L.A., journeying across the ocean to join the fight with Metal Lipstick and Black Paladin.

Both were mythical Jaegers. In fact, with Sunshine Riptide there, they were the three most powerful Jaeger teams in existence, all fighting together at once. Metal Lipstick, piloted by a set of twins from Australia, had some of the best defensive tactics in the world, and Black Paladin—well, Black Paladin was the most successful Jaeger to have ever been built. Its life was young, having been built specifically for its pilots, but its power couldn’t be defined by age.

Lance can still hear the echoes of the other pilot’s voices in his memories, but he blinks hard. The last thing they need is to get caught chasing the rabbit in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

They don’t talk as they make their way over to the coast. It doesn’t take long to get there; the Hong Kong Shatterdome is built on an island off the coast of the city, where the Jaegers have easy access to the water so they can stop the Kaiju before it reaches the coast. The massive building sticks out against the rest of the coastline. Shatterdomes are easily the biggest structures on the planet, and to house Jaegers, they have to be.

Up ahead, the base has a loading tank prepared for them. It’s designed to roll the Jaegers into the Shatterdome to avoid hurting the pilots in such close quarters. Even though the Shatterdome is big, it’s not big enough for a Jaeger to just walk inside with its pilots.

“Sunshine Riptide,” a distinct voice, heavy with an Australian accent, filters through their communication system. “Welcome to the Hong Kong Shatterdome!”

Allura grins immediately and reaches up to hit her speaker. “Hello, Marshall. It’s nice to be here.”

“Under unfortunate circumstances, I’m afraid, but we’ll have to take what we can get in these times I suppose, eh?” he asks, voice still bright. “Please be careful on the loading tank and removing yourself from the Jaeger. A team will be out to assist you and bring you into the facility.”

“Copy that, boss,” Lance says, smiling at Allura. Even though they might be getting the plug pulled on them, he guesses that it’s worth it to see Allura this happy. She doesn’t get to see her uncle, Coran, very often anymore, not since he took the Marshall’s position. At least she will get to spend some time with him while they’re here.

They trudge forward, continuing up onto the loading tank easily and carefully climbing up out of Riptide. When they open the top hatch, Lance is blinded by the sun. It glints off Riptide’s sharp metal, flickering different colors in the light.

Coran’s team helps them climb down to the ground, and Lance shakes himself, blinking to get the haze of the drift to fade. Staying in the drift for a long time takes a toll on the mind, and it still makes Lance a little dizzy and overwhelmed after they’ve been in for a long time.

Allura grips his arm and jostles him softly, “Wake up.”

“I’m awake,” he says, batting her hand away.

Groups of officers and military personal are standing around them and their Jaeger, looking up at Sunshine Riptide in all her glory. She stands tall, so tall that she’s blocking the sun. She’s a Mark IV, rebuilt for Lance and Allura when they finished their training. She was decommissioned after being torn to shreds in one of the very first Kaiju battles, but they rebuilt her, loaded her up with a new neural interface, and slapped on a bright orange coat of paint. She has two plasmacasters, one in each fist, built to destroy the Kaiju in close combat, which she’s designed for. To Lance, Sunshine Riptide is one of the most beautiful Jaegers in existence.

Some of the people around them are also looking over at Lance and Allura, and their expressions are too close to awe and amazement. Any other day, he would be preening under the attention, smirking and flirting his way through the crowds, but today, he’s too worried about their future.

Allura glances over at him when one of the officers gives them the go ahead. The Shatterdome’s bay doors are opening a few hundred yards ahead of them, and there are people everywhere. Every Shatterdome has been pulled and moved to Hong Kong, so everyone in the Pan Pacific Defense Corps is grounded here now, well, what’s left of them.

Lance removes his helmet, tucks it under his arm, and steps up to Allura’s side. She nods, and they step out in front of the tank where their Jaeger has been loaded. It’s a brisk walk, but it’s something that Lance always takes pride in. People in front of them clear a path, parting for them, and they enter the Shatterdome bay to a round of applause because of their most recent victory.

The base is full. There are soldiers, mechanics, and scientists crowding the floor, and there are even more people on the higher levels as well. In this bay, there are a handful of Jaegers—probably the last ones in the world. Only three have made it this long and this far; Crystal Venom, Omega Shield, and Razor Edge sit in the Shatterdome already, and now that Sunshine Riptide joins them, that means they have four Jaegers left in this fight.

Within the last few months, Kaiju activity has increased exponentially, more than it has over the entire length of the war. More and more Jaegers have been defeated because of the growing number of attacks and strength from the Kaiju. Now, there are only a few remaining.

It’s why the United Nations pulled the funding for the Jaeger Program. Jaegers were dying so fast, and the Wall seemed like the only other option. Jaegers are expensive to make and run and investing money in something that seemingly doesn’t work does seem like a waste.

But Lance knows that it’s not. Jaegers are the only things that stand in the way of the Kaiju destroying their world. If there’s anything he can do about it, he’s not going to let that happen _ever._

“Ah! And here’s a friend you may remember. Sunshine Riptide, welcome to Hong Kong!”

Lance hears Coran’s voice before he sees him, but when a crowd of soldiers clears out of the way, there he is, standing in the middle of the base, gesturing up to their Jaeger. He’s standing with two other people. The person on Coran’s right is short and looks young. She’s dressed in a navy-blue military uniform with a pair of round, large glasses on her nose. On Coran’s left, there’s a tall man, dressed in a leather jacket with a duffel slung over his shoulder. His black hair hangs down to almost his shoulders—

“Pilots!” Coran calls excitedly, “Join us!”

Lance feels Allura hesitate at the same time as him. Normally, she’s very excited, not at all hesitant, to catch up with Coran. But this time—this time is different.

Because Keith Kogane is standing on Coran’s left, and he’s looking over at Lance like he’s just come back from the dead.

;;

After the Garrison, Lance hadn’t heard anything from Keith in almost two years. He never really forgot about him, never forgot the feeling of drifting with someone and almost being destroyed by it. He thought about it a lot actually, especially as he trained with Allura. He thought about what could have been different, what they could have done to make it better, to maybe have not tried to kill each other and destroy any semblance of a chance at being co-pilots.

In the end, Lance always reminded himself that it never mattered because they weren’t drift compatible and they never would be.

The first thing that he ever heard about Keith after the Garrison was in an online interview. He had been checking his tablet, scanning through the news, when he saw it.

_Jaeger Black Paladin takes down largest ever Cat 2 Kaiju in Hong Kong last night. Pilots Takashi Shirogane and Keith Kogane famed for victory._

Allura had found him later, obsessively looking through the internet for more information about Keith.

As it turned out, Keith had found drift compatibility with someone else too—Takashi Shirogane, an older and more experienced pilot from Hong Kong. Staring at his face on the tablet, Lance had a vague feeling that he knew this man, and he finally he realized that it was because of the memories he got from Keith when they drifted together.

Keith and Shiro were placed in a Mark IV Jaeger, Black Paladin, in Hong Kong. Keith had even finished his training almost six months early so they could put them in a Jaeger. The fight with the Cat 2 Kaiju in Hong Kong had been their first battle together, and they quickly ran through the ranks of all other Jaeger pilots in the world. Their drop-kill numbers were so high, accuracy so amazing, that they were deployed for every Kaiju attack they were physically close enough to.

Lance and Allura were finally deployed for the first time eight months after Keith and Shiro’s first victory, and Sunshine Riptide ripped through the Kaiju just as quickly as Black Paladin did. It made Lance smug, and he often wondered if Keith kept up with him as much as Lance watched the headlines for Keith’s name.

Almost a year later, the first ever double event happened in Hong Kong. Lance and Allura were deployed from L.A., and Metal Lipstick was sent over from Australia to join Shiro and Keith in the fight. It wasn’t the first time that Jaegers had teamed up to fight the Kaiju, but it was the first time that all three of the most powerful Jaegers were fighting together.

Lance remembered it like it was yesterday. He and Allura had physically jerked when he had heard Keith’s voice for the first time since they were eighteen.

“Prepare for drop,” the AI hummed just as the helicopters dropped them in the ocean, right on the other side of the Kaiju.

“Nice to meet you, Sunshine Riptide!” the voice from Lance’s memories—Shiro’s voice—said, echoing in the cockpit of their Jaeger.

Lance smirked and hit the button on his comm system, “Same, we’ve been waiting on a chance to save Keith’s ass.”

Shiro laughed a little, but Keith was back, growling, “Fuck you, Lance.”

Allura and Lance joined the fight then, putting aside everything else. It was harder than any other fight so far, even with all three Jaegers. Allura and Lance led the first one, codename Diablo, while Black Paladin and the Australian Jaeger, Metal Lipstick, finished off the other.

Diablo had Lance and Allura around the waist, crushing them slowly as the plasmacaster powered up. Then, they shoved their left fist into its chest and fired.

“Empty the clip!” Lance shouted through clenched teeth, his ribs aching, as they kept firing into the Kaiju. “Empty the clip!”

Finally, Diablo fell into the ocean, just as Black Paladin and Metal Lipstick were turning to aid them.

Allura grinned, reached up to the comm, and said, “Thanks for the help, but we’ve got it.”

Lance was laughing, grinning at her too because holy fuck, she was the best thing to ever happen to him.

After the battle, they were all stationed at the Hong Kong Shatterdome for a few days to get repairs done on their Jaegers. Sunshine Riptide was so damaged that she wouldn’t make it home without the important repairs completed first.

Lance met Shiro officially for the first time, but when they shook hands with each other, he felt how weird it was. He already felt like he knew Shiro from seeing him in Keith’s memories, even just the little that he had, and Shiro was looking at him the same way, like he knew him too.

Keith had stood off to the side with his arms crossed, glaring in their direction.

“This is Allura,” Lance said to Shiro, reaching out for her arm to pull her forward. “She’s my co-pilot.”

Shiro smiled at her softly, and Lance grinned while they shook hands. She was being uncharacteristically nervous now, meeting Shiro. Lance would tease her about it later.

“You guys were impressive,” Shiro said, looking between both of them. “We’ve been keeping up with your deployments, so we were excited that you were coming for this one.”

Allura started to thank him, but Lance interrupted. His grin widened, and he shot a look over at Keith, “Oh yeah? Keith’s just been waiting for a rematch.”

Keith rolled his eyes, not at all friendly, “Whatever. I’d still kick your ass.”

He laughed and winked at him, relishing in Keith’s glare and how he couldn’t take his eyes off Lance’s frame. Sure, they hated each other and were rivals in every essence of the word now, but who said Lance couldn’t have a little fun with it?

It wasn’t the only time that they had seen each other since the Garrison. They spent a couple of more days at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and when Allura took to hanging out with Shiro, Lance and Keith had no other option than to be around each other too.

It worked out, mainly because of how much Allura berated and begged Lance into being nice to him so she could talk to Shiro. He listened to her, only because she was his best friend and loving co-pilot, so when they all went out to a dive bar where no one would recognize them to celebrate, Lance called for a truce.

“I’m just saying,” Lance’s voice was a little too loud because of the last couple beers he’d had. “This is stupid. You’re stupid.”

“Wow,” Keith had crossed his arms over his broad chest. “What a great way to talk to someone you want to be friends with. Really, has anyone ever told you how good you are with people?”

Lance scowled at him, “I’m not giving up.”

The other man had shrugged, “Whatever, Lance.”

After that night, things between them became a little better in terms of the limited amount of times they had to deal with each other. There were only a handful of times and places where they were deployed to fight together, and even fewer times where they got to see each other outside of the Jaegers and the Shatterdomes.

Which is right about the time that Lance developed a huge fucking crush on Keith. In all actuality, it hadn’t developed—Lance had finally become aware of it.

He had been working on a plan to get Keith to start talking to him again. In fact, Allura was even talking to Shiro, which was good for him too. If Allura could get Shiro on their side, then they would all four have to spend time together and—

Then the accident happened.

Black Paladin was deployed to defend Hong Kong from a supposed Cat 2 Kaiju, codename Knifehead. They were already sent out to meet Knifehead in battle when the Marshall and techs realized that the Kaiju wasn’t a Cat 2—it had been the first ever Cat 3.

And Black Paladin was unprepared for it.

Lance can still remember watching the video feed of it the next day. Seeing Knifehead tear off their Jaeger’s arm, then, completely rip out the right side of the Jaeger—Lance thought he was going to be sick while watching it.

Sunshine Riptide hadn’t been close enough to help. Even if they had been deployed at the same time, there wasn’t anything that they could have done.

That morning, Lance and Allura had received the report at the L.A. Shatterdome. Shiro was dead, and Keith—Keith was in a coma. He had killed the Kaiju on his own, controlling the Jaeger by himself, and effectively killing his brain with the amount of strain on the neural bridge. He had even gotten the Jaeger back to the coast on his own, lasting almost a full hour in battle by himself.

It made sense that they thought he wouldn’t make it.

So Lance and Allura—they didn’t know what to do. It was like their world had been ripped away from them. Black Paladin—Shiro and Keith—they had been the strongest and most successful Jaeger pilots _ever_.

And the Kaiju had taken them away. Just like that.

In the time that Keith was in a coma, there was another Kaiju attack, another Cat 3 along the coast of California. Allura and Lance had begged the Marshall to deploy them, and when they went, they were both so angry that they ripped the Kaiju to shreds, hoping every last helicopter got it on camera so it would play it, as if it would justify all the wrongs the Kaiju had already done to them.

It hadn’t.

Lance and Allura did their best to deal with it. Allura was so sad, and Lance was practically distraught. When they drank too much one night and stumbled into bed together, Lance didn’t regret it because at least he had felt something for a little while.

A few weeks later, Keith surprisingly woke up from his coma, but before Lance and Allura could get over to Hong Kong to visit, he left the hospital, left the Shatterdome, and disappeared without a trace.

And it’s been three years since.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not strange for Lance to wake up with a scream on the tip of his tongue, sweat clinging to his temples, arms and chest aching at the thought of his nightmares. He can still feel the terror, the hurt, the loss from when he was a kid and his dad and sister were taken away just like it was yesterday. He feels it every time he and Allura drift together, and it never goes away. 
> 
> For some reason, Lance feels it right now as he’s looking at Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends!! FINALLY, a chapter with some actual plot! I'm very excited about where this fic is going and I can't wait to share the rest of it with you. the comments that you guys are leaving literally make my day when I see them, so please keep telling me about your fav parts of this fic and what you hope to see in the future
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe! If you wanna chat with me, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

It’s not strange for Lance to wake up with a scream on the tip of his tongue, sweat clinging to his temples, arms and chest aching at the thought of his nightmares. He can still feel the terror, the hurt, the loss from when he was a kid and his dad and sister were taken away just like it was yesterday. He feels it every time he and Allura drift together, and it never goes away.

For some reason, Lance feels it right now as he’s looking at Keith.

Lance doesn’t know what to do. Honestly, he doesn’t even know if he’s breathing either. Allura is the same way, frozen at his side, unable to move.

Keith stares at him, eyes locked on his, already challenging him. His eyes are as dark as ever, and he looks almost the same, just a little older than the last time Lance had seen him. There’s a new scar on his right cheek, a sharp line down his cheek and jaw, and his shoulders are broader than what they used to be. He just looks older and weary, like he’s tired of everything.

Honestly, after Black Paladin, Lance thought that he would never see Keith again. When he tried to contact him, there had been complete radio silence. When he’d tried to find him with the help of the Marshall and the Jaeger Program, there hadn’t been any trace of Keith. It was like he had just disappeared from the face of the planet.

Lance feels Allura reach out and grab his hand, which is what finally shakes him back to the present, back to this situation that they’re in, back to the end of the world.

He turns to look at her, and together, they step forward, hands clutching each other tight. Lance doesn’t need the drift to know that Allura is feeling the same way. Keith was her friend too, and Shiro—she’s just now getting back to normal. It makes sense that her whole world is being thrown upside down, just like Lance’s.

“Allura, Lance,” Coran says, smiling. “It’s so great to see you.”

“It’s… great to see you too, Coran,” Allura replies, voice shaking a little.

Coran gestures to Keith, “You both remember Keith Kogane.”

“Yes,” Allura speaks again, squeezing Lance’s hand and saving him from this, for now.   
“It’s been a long time, Keith. How are you?”

_Where have you been?!_ Lance wants to scream at him. He grinds his teeth together instead.

“Fine,” Keith replies, and fuck, his voice is the same as ever.

There’s a pause between them, an awkward silence that Lance might have tried to fill with conversation if he wasn’t so fucking angry. He can’t do anything except stare at Keith.

Allura squeezes his hand again, and Lance finally looks away from Keith to watch her. She’s still frowning, but it’s her concerned look, the one she wears when she thinks that he’s been hurt or needs to rest.

“I’m okay,” he murmurs, low enough only for her to hear.

Coran is looking between the three of them anxiously before he forcibly brightens and motions to the person next to him. He says, “And this is our new friend, Katie Holt!”

To Lance, Katie Holt barely looks old enough to drive a car in the United States. She’s short and small, even for a teenager, but she’s looking back at them through her glasses like she’s ready to fight—and possibly win. Her brown hair is cropped short, sticking out around her ears, and she’s wearing a set of dog tags over her fatigues. Her arms are at her sides, but there’s a smile on her face, like she’s excited to meet them.

“You can call me Pidge,” she says, smile bright.

“Hi, Pidge,” Allura replies, squeezing Lance’s hand again. “We’re—well, Lance and I aren’t exactly excited to be here, but it’s great to meet new friends.”

“You too,” Pidge replies, and she grins at them. “I’ve kept up with Sunshine Riptide since I started my training. You guys are amazing.”

“Your training?”

She nods, “I’m a pilot.”

Lance blinks, “You’re a pilot?”

“Pidge here advanced through the training program with flying colors!” Coran explains, clapping the girl on the shoulder enthusiastically. “Her simulation scores have been so high that we’ve retested her drift capabilities and think there could be some similarities with an available pilot here.”

“You’re going to put her in a Jaeger and expect her to fight Kaiju when she’s just finished her training?” Keith asks the question, and there’s nothing but hostility in his voice.

Lance bites his tongue, refuses to snap back at him like he would have in the past. He doesn’t want to fall into old habits with Keith. Fuck, he doesn’t know if he wants anything to do with Keith at. All this time, Lance has assumed that Keith was just—gone. Disappeared. Forever. He might as well have been dead.

And now he’s back and they’re all here and—

“I’m a Ranger, so yes,” Pidge snaps in reply to Keith’s question, tone fierce. Absently, Lance wonders how many times she’s had to defend herself because of her size, age, and gender.

Keith crosses his arms over his chest and looks away.

“We need all the pilots we can get, Ranger Kogane,” Coran replies, gesturing around them in the Shatterdome. It’s covered with people, and a group of them are leading Sunshine Riptide over to her docking station. “You’ve all been brought here because the last days of the Jaeger program are upon us, and we need to do something once and for all to end the war.”

“Ending the war?” Allura asks the questions before anyone else. “How is that possible, Coran?”

“It won’t be easy, that’s for sure,” Coran acknowledges, twisting the ends of his mustache in his fingers. “In fact, with the limited resources that we now have, it will be the hardest thing we’ve ever done. Losing the support of the United Nations won’t make it any easier. We’ve got no funding, limited manpower, and less than a handful of working equipment.”

Lance finds himself staring at Coran in… well, he doesn’t really know what. Ending the war seems like too much. The Jaeger program has been fighting the Kaiju since the very beginning of the war, and while there have been attempts at ending it, none have been successful because they’ve never had enough information to find out how to close the breach, the rift where the Kaiju appear at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. But if Coran is serious and if there is a way to end the war…

“But,” Coran continues, and his voice shifts upward, eyes sparkling, “we do have the ingenuity of the Pan-Pacific Defense Corp. We have the machines we’ve built, the pilots we’ve trained, and the people we can count on. We will end this war once and for all.”

It’s a speech that Lance has dreamed of hearing since he first joined the PPDC. He’s always wanted to be the one in a Jaeger at the last moment, staring down the last Kaiju, being the last point of hope for the world. Hearing about it now, knowing that they’re going to actually start the end, it’s amazing.

For some reason, it also makes him feel sick to his stomach, like there’s some weird feeling deep down that’s tugging and pulling at him, whispering that something isn’t right, that it can’t be this easy.

Lance glances back over to Keith and finds dark, violet eyes already staring back at him, and Lance realizes that seeing Keith here is one of the things that feels so wrong about this.

;;

After his speech and an order to meet him for another meeting and subsequent training tomorrow morning, Coran leaves them standing in the middle of the Shatterdome. The war clock—the count-up that measures how long it’s been since the last Kaiju attack—barely has a few hours on it since their battle in Sunshine Riptide earlier today. Lance wonders what the projection is until the next one.

Allura squeezes his hand, reminds him that they’re standing here with a brand-new pilot and an old one that might as well have come back from the dead.

The silence between the four of them is painfully obvious and awkward. Lance hasn’t managed to get any of his words assembled into something that wouldn’t burn Keith, so he keeps his mouth shut. Keith is still standing in front of them, eyes on the Jaegers around them, arms crossed over his chest. Pidge looks as though she wants to say something, but like Allura, can’t figure out what or how to do it.

Allura tries to brighten her voice when she says, “Well, Lance and I better go find our bunks. It’s been a long day for us.”

“I can help—” Pidge starts.

“That’s okay, Pidge,” a familiar voice interrupts her. “I can help them.”

Lance whips around to find Hunk striding toward them, smiling, and honestly, it’s exactly what he needs right now. He launches forward, dragging Allura behind him, and only releases her hand to toss his arms around Hunk’s shoulders.

He pushes back far enough to see Hunk’s face. He looks older than when Lance last saw him in person, which has probably been—fuck, years at least. Since Lance was moved from the Garrison, Hunk stayed in the program, graduated, and moved on to work in Shatterdomes across the world. He became one of the best mechanics in the world. He was even the one who finally put together Sunshine Riptide when her design was finalized back when Lance and Allura finished their pilot training.

Even though it’s been years, Lance and Hunk have kept up with each other, have managed to still be best friends despite the distance. They video chat and call each other at least once a week, but it’s been ages since they’ve seen each other in person. Probably since they were last in California together. Hunk had been placed there to help sort through a decommissioned Jaeger yard for new parts while Lance and Allura were piloting Sunshine Riptide. But, when Lance and Allura were moved up to Anchorage for a short stint at the Shatterdome, Hunk was relocated to Manila to start building a new class of Jaegers for the Pan-Pacific Defense Corp.

Now, Hunk’s hair is a little longer. He has it tied back with the same yellow headband that he’s always worn, and his dark eyes are bright, excited, familiar. He’s solid in Lance’s arms too, like he’s been lifting weights in his spare time.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re here,” Lance finds himself saying.

Hunk’s eyes soften, and he glances over Lance’s shoulder. He nods and says, “When I heard they were moving you and Allura here, I called Coran and told him I needed to be here too. Besides, there’s plenty of work to be done. This is the last Shatterdome that has any parts.”

Allura steps up to their sides before Lance can say anything else, and Hunk pulls one arm away from Lance to tug her into their hug too. She laughs and pats Hunk’s shoulder, saying, “It’s so nice to see you, Hunk.”

“You too, Allura,” he replies easily, all smiles. “You been keeping my best bro safe?”

“As much as I can,” she answers cheerily, and Lance forces himself not to tear up. He loves them both so much that he can’t stand it on most days.

Allura notices, just like she always does, and she curls her hand around his bicep. She says, “We were deployed a little before three this morning so—we need to get some sleep. Can you show us where we’re staying?”

Hunk nods and says, “Sure. Your bunks are next to mine, so it’ll be just like it was at the Garrison, Lance.”

Lance smiles a little and glances behind him as they untangle themselves from each other. Sure enough, when he looks over his shoulder, Keith has already disappeared.

He sighs and forces himself to smile despite everything else when he says, “That’s great, buddy. I can’t wait.”

;;

Their bunks end up being small rooms on the lower levels of the base. It’s one of the nicer rooms Lance has been in since he joined up so long ago, and he gets this one to himself. Hunk is right about them being close to one another; his and Allura’s are right next door to each other, and Hunk’s is just across the hallway.

It makes him feel a little better about this whole thing if he’s honest.

He’s so out of it from the mission this morning and from the transport over to Hong Kong that he could sleep for days, but the added stress of seeing Keith again—he hadn’t been expecting that. It’s like everything that he’s ever felt for Keith, including everything from the last three years, is coming back to hit him all at once, and he doesn’t know how to feel about any of it.

And Keith had acted like he hadn’t even cared.

Fuck him.

Allura does the rest of the talking for him, excusing them from anything else that day, once they’ve docked Sunshine Riptide and been removed from their drivesuits. On the way to their rooms, Lance gives Hunk another hug before slumping inside. He feels Allura following him, but he doesn’t say anything when she shuts the door behind her and starts helping him out of his fatigues.

He stays quiet, letting his feelings boil while he and Allura discard their clothes. When they’re both left in their underwear, Lance flops down onto the small bunk in the corner of the room and feels Allura crawl up behind him and curl into his side.

She’s quiet too. She still has her hair pulled up into a bun, so Lance sighs and rolls over, hands untwining her hair and carding through it until there aren’t any more knots in it.

Allura looks up at him and murmurs, “I’m sorry that Keith is a dick.”

He lets out a breath, “He’s always been that way. I don’t know why I expected something else.”

“It’s okay that you did though,” she responds. “I know how you feel about him. If it had been Shiro—”

“If it had been Shiro, he would have actually been happy to see you,” Lance interrupts bitterly. “Keith is just so—fuck him for being such a jerk. I couldn’t imagine being in something like that. I mean, losing you and fighting a Kaiju by myself would be fucking terrible. I wouldn’t be the same either, but I don’t think I’d turn my back on everybody else and just run away from the whole fucking world.”

Allura hums in agreement, pushing her head up to rest on his shoulder now that they’re on their backs next to each other. She says, “It would be the worst thing in the world, but you’re right. I’m sorry that he’s here, but we have to work with him. The world is depending on us.”

“I know,” Lance mutters, pressing one hand against his eyes in the hopes of blocking everything out. “As long as I’ve got you, it’ll be okay. You’re my best friend.”

He feels her nod against his shoulder and murmur in agreement, and he finally lets his eyes close, falling asleep to the sound of Allura’s breathing while he avoids thinking about Keith fucking Kogane.

;;

The next morning, he and Allura wander down to the training level to get started a little earlier than everyone else.

At some point in the middle of the night, Allura had gone back to her own room. It’s not weird for them to fall asleep in one another’s beds at this point in their lives. After drifting together for so long and depending on each other when the fate of the world hangs on them, it’s easier not to pretend. Lance feels better when Allura is close to him, and she’s the same way. They’re best friends, nothing more, nothing less.

This morning, they’re both back in military fatigues with their dog tags around their necks. Allura has her hair knotted into a bun at the top of her head, and Lance has already discarded his shoes and shirt, leaving him in a white tank top.

“What do you think the Marshall will have to say in the meeting?” Allura asks the question while they’re sparing together and warming up for whatever the rest of the day may hold.

Lance shrugs, kicking her right side when she leaves it exposed. She hisses in annoyance, and Lance says, “Probably whatever crazy plan he has for saving the world.”

They continue in silence while the rest of the base wakes up around them. Roughly an hour later, a few more pilots show up, some that Lance recognizes from other Jaegers and some that Lance doesn’t know of at all, mostly trainees without Jaegers. Crystal Venom’s pilots, Rolo and Nyma, are here, and Lance nods and waves. They’d spent some time at the same Shatterdome for a few weeks back when they were still completing drift simulations. It’s good to see some familiar faces, Lance guesses.

Pidge joins them then, when he and Allura take a break to grab some water.

“Hey, guys,” she greets them, fiddling with her own dog tags around her neck. Lance has to admit that she looks a little more official today now that Lance knows she’s a pilot. Her eyes are gleaming under the round glasses on the edge of her nose, and her mouth is crooked up into a small smile.

“Hi, Pidge, it’s good to see you again,” Allura smiles.

“Yeah, sorry for yesterday,” Lance apologizes because he’s had people underestimate him too, and he doesn’t like the feeling. “We were coming off a long deployment.”

“No problem,” she says. “I’m used to it.”

They talk for a long while, and they find out that Pidge has done some piloting before, not in a Jaeger but in jets and other machinery, unlike what they were thinking yesterday. She’s got to be the youngest pilot that Lance has ever met before, and he’s dying to ask about her simulation scores to find out more.

But before he can, Keith Kogane walks onto the training deck.

He’s by himself, which is weird to see. Every other time that he’s ever seen Keith in any Shatterdome before it’s been with Shiro. The two of them were inseparable; that’s what made it so easy for Lance to annoy Keith and be around him. Allura liked to spend time with Shiro, and wherever Shiro went, Keith followed.

This morning, Keith looks like a completely different person. Yesterday, Lance had barely been able to spot the differences, but today, he can see them everywhere. It’s even in the way that he moves. The scar on his cheek is bigger than Lance thought it was, tracing all the way down his neck, red and rough even though it looks old too. He’s bigger than he was by—a lot actually. He’s taller, broader, grizzled. His hair is longer too, down to his shoulders now, and where his jaw line was sharp before, it’s bulkier and square. His eyes are that same dark, violet purple, but now, there’s something else settled in them, something that Lance can’t pick out.

To his credit, Keith doesn’t hesitate when he sees them. Instead, he drops to a bench and starts unlacing his boots.

Allura is the one to speak. She says, “Morning, Keith.”

“Hey,” he answers, and Lance can’t decide what it is about his voice that sets him off.

Allura puts a hand on Lance’s shoulder and pushes him down to sit on the bench. She turns back to Keith and says, “Would you like to spar?”

He looks up at her sharply, and Lance watches. He makes one wrong move, says one ugly thing to Allura, and Lance will kill him. Not that Allura needs his help; she can take care of herself.

But Keith just nods silently and moves onto the mat with Allura.

Lance turns his attention to Pidge so he doesn’t have to watch them. He asks, “So what Jaeger are you in now? Coran said you were being paired with a pilot here, but you probably already have a Jaeger, right?”

Pidge shakes her head, “I don’t have a Jaeger. I think that’s part of the problem that Coran is going to address today. We have more pilots than Jaegers.”

Lance frowns, but he doesn’t say anything else. He honestly has no idea what Marshall Coran will say in the meeting later, and he doesn’t know how they all fit into the plan to save the world.

Keith and Allura spar for a while, and when they’ve both gotten in a decent amount of hits to each other, they take a break. Allura sits down beside Lance on the bench, and he hands her his water while Keith hesitates on his feet in front of them.

The other pilots in the room are shuffling off to the sides of the training deck as well, putting some space between them now that they aren’t sparing. While some of the others that Lance recognizes have been successful in their Jaegers, the three of them (Lance, Allura, and Keith) are by far the most well-known pilots in the world right now. Pidge, of course, hasn’t been piloting, but if she’s this young and already at Ranger status, then Lance supposes the other pilots would be wary around her too.

Silence fills the space instead. It’s awkward, and Lance is itching to fill the silence with conversation despite the tension between the four of them.

He turns toward Allura instead, “I’ve been wondering if Coran is planning on building more Jaegers.”

She frowns, “I guess he might. It would make more sense because he has so many people and resources built up here. If he was building more Jaegers though, wouldn’t he need more pilots?”

“From what I’ve heard around the base, there aren’t enough pilots that are drift compatible,” Pidge chimes in. “That’s why he brought every pilot that was still alive to this Shatterdome. There’s more than we need, but none of them match up.”

“Like you and Keith,” Lance says, flicking his eyes over to where Keith is still standing in front of them.

Pidge nods, “Which means that he’s got to figure out a way to get us in the remaining Jaegers he has.”

Allura hums thoughtfully, “But what if none of the pilots are compatible enough to pilot together? Keith, did he tell you anything when he brought you here?”

Keith’s face darkens at the question, but he just shakes his head. He says, “He didn’t give me much of a choice. Obviously, I didn’t want to come back, but I’d rather die piloting a Jaeger than sitting out in the desert and waiting for the Kaiju to make it that far inland.”

“Good luck trying to find a co-pilot then,” Lance shoots back unnecessarily, but he’s been itching for a fight with Keith since the moment he saw him standing in the Shatterdome when they first arrived. “You’ll be lucky if anyone can stand to talk to you for more than five minutes, let alone be in your head with you.”

“Oh yeah? Well at least I know how to shut my goddamn mouth when I need to.”

Lance springs up from the bench, lunging for Keith until he’s got a hand twisted in Keith’s black tank top. Keith hasn’t moved, still has his arms hanging at his sides, but his face is twisted into an ugly smirk, like he knows that was the right thing to say to set Lance off.

“At least I know how to keep my co-pilot alive,” Lance murmurs it dangerously, eyes locked onto Keith’s, so he doesn’t miss the flash of fire in them.

It’s three long, intense seconds before Keith brings his fist up and punches Lance so hard that he stumbles backward and almost falls, teeth rattling.

“Fuck you, Sanchez,” Keith growls, stalking toward him while Lance gets his feet back under him and settles into a fighting stance. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t?” Lance asks, smirking back at him even though his jaw is aching. “Seems like I remember drifting with you, Kogane. I think I know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Lance dodges the second punch that Keith throws at him, ducking under his arm and kicking out until he gets Keith’s side. The other man rolls to the ground and springs back up to his feet, already lunging back toward Lance with his fists outstretched.

The fight continues for what feels like forever. Lance’s heart is racing in his chest, and he’s dodging and ducking out of the way of Keith’s attacks. They each land more than a few punches and kicks on the other, but the aching in his sides and face reminds him that he’s alive, that Keith is alive, that they’re both here in the same room for once, even though they’re fighting each other.

He doesn’t know which he hates worse: Keith or the way he still feels about him.

By the time someone else steps in, Keith has thrown Lance to the ground and straddled him, holding his arms down while Lance struggles to push him back. They’re somehow still spitting insults at each other through bated breath and clenched teeth, and Lance feels something inside him break when Keith hisses, “I’ve hated you since you ruined our first drift trial.”

Allura grabs Lance under the arms and yanks him backwards before he can say anything else, and Pidge gets her arms around Keith and throws him across the mat despite her small size.

But Lance isn’t done. He wipes his nose where it’s bleeding and studies Keith, who’s still staring at him from his place on the mat. He says, “You’re the one who walked away first. Fuck you.”

“Lance,” Allura chides quietly, shaking him while she jerks him back to his feet. “That’s enough.”

Keith is still staring at him, but Pidge has moved so that she’s in between them and Allura still has her hands curled around Lance’s arms. Keith rolls his eyes and spits, “Don’t fucking talk to me anymore, Sanchez. I’m done.”

Lance is trembling in Allura’s arms now, but he’s not sure if it’s the left-over adrenaline from the fight or the hatred that’s flowing through his veins for Keith. He doesn’t bother with anything else when Keith stalks out of the room and leaves Lance behind, just like that day at the Garrison when they were eighteen.

;;

By the time they get to the meeting, Lance has a black eye, bruised knuckles, and a sore hip from his fight with Keith. Allura and Pidge did their best to patch him up, but he still looks (and feels if he’s honest) like a train ran over him.

The only thing that makes him feel a little better is filing into the meeting room and finding Keith in the same position. He’s got a black eye to match Lance’s, and his knuckles are bandaged. He’s barely limping, but Lance knows that it’s from where he kicked him in the ankle earlier.

Allura leads him over to the section in the front of the room where the rest of the pilots are sitting. The pilots for both Omega Shield, a Jaeger out of Russia that’s gone undefeated for years and its Rangers, Kinkade and Griffin, and Razor Edge, the only Jaeger left that did time in the South Pacific Island Shatterdome with Rangers Rizavi and Leifsdottir, are sitting in the row in front of them. Rolo and Nyma, the pilots for Crystal Venom are there too. Plus, Keith, Pidge, and a couple of other pilots that look too young to have really finished their training. Lance wouldn’t want to be near any Jaeger they were piloting.

The rest of the room is filled with the other officers and a few high-ranking mechanics and engineers. Hunk is in the room, and he frowns worriedly when he sees Lance, then Keith, like he knows exactly what happened between them earlier. Lance waves to him, nodding and silently promising to fill him in later.

They sit as far from Keith as they can in the limited section, but it’s still only three seats apart. From this close, Lance can feel how much Keith hates him, can sense the anger rolling off him in waves where he sits in his chair with his arms folded over his chest.

Marshall Coran files into the room and takes his position at the podium. He glances over to Lance and Allura and nods a greeting, but then it’s back to business, and the meeting starts immediately.

“Alright,” Coran begins in his heavy Aussie accent, “thank you all for being here today. We’ve got a lot to cover and not a lot of time, so we’re going to get right to it if you don’t mind.”

Lance trades a glance with Allura. She shrugs.

“You all know that we have no more funding for the Jaeger program. Instead, the United Nations has put the last shreds of hope into the Wall of Life, which we saw crumble yesterday morning. The only reason Los Angeles wasn’t torn to pieces was because of Sunshine Riptide’s successful defense of the city, which we thank the pilots for,” Coran says, motioning to where they’re sitting.

Allura and Lance lift a hand in recognition, but this isn’t the time for boasting. They can tell by the way Coran speaks.

“Now, the rest of the world is doomed to this same fate unless we can do something to change it,” Coran continues. “I’ve been meeting with the best that we have to offer, and we’ve developed a plan for a final attack on the breach in hopes of closing it for good.”

There’s a distinct and surprised murmur through the crowd. Lance’s eyes widen when he looks back to Allura. There have been plenty of attempts to close the breach before this, but nothing has ever worked. They’ve lost Jaeger after Jaeger and too many pilots to count with missions like this one. What was different now?

Coran waves his hand and a projection appears on the screen next to him. The figures on the screen outline the breach and the contents of it for the rest of the audience to see. Coran nods and begins again, “We will take the remaining five Jaegers that we have and launch a full-scale attack on the breach. After previous mission failure, our scientists have determined a successful way to get through the breach and take in a nuclear bomb on the back of Jaeger 1, from which the pilots will detonate, leaving the bomb behind on the other side and destroying the breach once and for all.”

Lance’s jaw drops. Honestly, he’ll admit that the plan seems badass and like it could actually work. But—getting through the breach has always been the problem before. Nothing has ever made it to the other side.

If they set off a nuke at the bottom of the Pacific and it doesn’t work—

Coran settles the audience from where they’re raising questions already. He says, “The trick to getting through the breach will be coding the Jaeger as having the same genetic material as a Kaiju. We’ve got people working on this problem now.”

Pidge raises her hand from where she’s sitting next to Allura and Keith. Coran nods at her, and she stands to ask, “Earlier you said the remaining 5 Jaegers, but right now, we only have 4. Where’s the last one?”

“Ah, yes,” Coran nods, “Sunshine Riptide has been decommissioned.”

Lance and Allura still in the same second. His heart misses a beat in his chest because _what the fuck?_

There’s another round of loud protests. People are reciting facts about Sunshine Riptide, how she’s one of the best and most successful Jaegers right now, how the pilots are some of the most experienced in combat, but all Lance can do is stare at Coran and try to hold on to reality.

He feels Allura grip his hand, but it doesn’t feel real.

Among the yelling, Coran swipes his head and the slide on the projector changes to a model of Sunshine Riptide. He says, “Quiet down,” and the room stills.

None of this makes any sense.

“You all are right, Sunshine Riptide is one of the most successful Jaegers the Jaeger program has ever seen, specifically in combat strategies and the drop-kill ratio,” Coran says this all very matter-of-factly, but Lance can’t help but think something worse is coming. “ _However_ , Sunshine Riptide also has dual nuclear reactors to make her one of the fastest Jaegers as well as a completely intact and undamaged weapons system.”

There’s a punchline coming somewhere. Lance can feel it.

“Which is why I’ve decided to decommission Sunshine Riptide and have her melted down to create two new Jaegers,” Coran says, and Lance feels himself break.

Allura sucks in a breath beside him, and he squeezes her hand. This can’t be it. Sunshine Riptide is—she’s _theirs._

“Why risk destroying one of the best Jaegers we have available now?” a voice calls out from the crowd. Lance doesn’t recognize whoever it is. “The pilots will have to adjust to a new Jaeger when they already have capability for Sunshine Riptide.”

“This is true. The pilots will require new training periods,” Coran acknowledges, “but the pilots will also have to adjust to their new co-pilots as well.”

Lance closes his eyes and bows his head. He doesn’t want to hear this, he doesn’t want to hear this, he doesn’t want to—

“Marshall,” another voice says, but it’s distant. Lance can barely hear anything. “What’s the point of this? Who will pilot the new Jaegers?”

There’s a slight pause, and Lance opens his eyes in time to see Coran looking between him and Allura. He nods slightly and says, “Because of our intel with drift capability and compatibility, Ranger Holt and Ranger Altea will pilot Jaeger 1.”

Oh god, oh god, oh god. Lance can feel himself sweating. He wants to be sick. He thinks he might pass out. The only other pilot left is—

“And Ranger Sanchez and Ranger Kogane will pilot Jaeger 2,” Coran finishes, nodding decisively in their direction.

Silence fills the room. Allura’s hand has frozen in his.

Lance doesn’t dare move. He doesn’t—he doesn’t understand _any_ of this. He and Keith aren’t even drift compatible! That was the whole point of the drift trial they did when they were eighteen! They weren’t compatible then, and they _can’t_ be compatible now.

Coran has made a mistake. The rest of the engineers and scientists have made a mistake. There’s no fucking way that he’ll ever be able to pilot a Jaeger with Keith, not when they can’t go more than five minutes without already wanting to kill each other and—

The meeting continues, but honestly, Lance doesn’t hear a single word. He turns to look at Allura, who already has frustrated tears in her eyes, and he stares at her instead. He doesn’t dare look past her where Keith is sitting.

Lance tunes back in to hear Coran say, “Alright, dismissed,” and start for the door.

Allura jumps up out of her chair, vaulting over the row in front of them despite the people still in their seats. Her grip on Lance’s hand tightens, and he follows her wordlessly, silently, because they’re co-pilots, and he knows everything about her from the inside out.

They storm after Coran, running down the hall after him. He surely hears them, but he’s already in the elevator with the doors closing and—

Allura shoves her foot in between it, stopping it just in time. Then, she and Lance step onto the elevator, and he didn’t realize that Pidge and Keith had been following them until he glances over his shoulders to see them.

“Coran,” Allura starts, voice angry and shaking, “what have you done?”

“We needed more Jaegers,” he says, and to his credit, he does look sorry. “Sunshine Riptide is an amazing Jaeger, and you and Lance have been some of the best pilots to date, but we need more if we’re going to win this war.”

“I understand that,” she argues. “Why can’t Lance and I pilot one of the new ones? We’re drift compatible. You don’t need to split us up.”

Lance nods roughly, “You _can’t._ ”

“I have to,” Coran says. “Allura, you and Pidge are likely to be drift compatible. We’ve ran the data, seen the probability from both of your drifting trials. You two start your training in the morning.”

“That still doesn’t make sense, Marshall,” Pidge interrupts then, and Lance looks back to her, surprised that she’s arguing. He figured she would be happy about finally being assigned. “If you move Allura, then Lance will still be out, and we’ll be one Jaeger short anyway.”

Coran shakes his head, looks over their shoulders, and Lance curls his hands into fists. Something isn’t right about this—

“Rangers Sanchez and Kogane are drift compatible,” Coran says.

“No, we’re not,” Lance spits the words through his teeth. “You were the one who ran our drift trial, Coran. _You_ were the one who said we weren’t drift compatible.”

“Get in the elevator,” he orders, looking out past them like he’s afraid of someone overhearing them, “all of you.”

Allura squeezes his hand, and they all step further into the elevator, letting the doors seal behind them as they head up to the ground floor of the base. When they’re the only ones there, crowded in the industrial elevator, Coran sighs.

“Tell us what the hell is happening,” Keith snaps. When Lance glances at him, he looks just as pissed as the rest of them.

“When we first ran your drift trial, we were shocked at the data we were getting, the numbers and statistics that were received from the trial at the Garrison,” Coran starts, looking between Lance and Keith, eyes wide. “I had never seen anything like it before. You two had the most volatile, most emotional bond I had _ever_ seen in all my years. It was amazing.”

“We were trying to kill each other,” Lance argues, heart beating too hard in his chest. “You said that yourself. You told us we weren’t drift compatible.”

“Lance, there wasn’t a Jaeger that could have been built to control the bond between you and Keith,” Coran says, hands splayed wide. “Even the advanced systems I brought with me to run the trial broke down under the weight of the neural connection between the two of you. That’s why it seemed like you failed. _You_ didn’t; the equipment failed you.”

Lance feels he is having an out of body experience. There’s no way that this is happening. This is a dream, it has to be. He’s going to wake up at the base in L.A. with Allura, and when they don’t have any training to do, they’re going to go to the beach, maybe get some ice cream and—

“So, what are you saying?” Keith asks the question, shocking Lance back to the moment.

“I lied,” Coran admits. “I lied to the staff at the Garrison and said that the two of you weren’t drift compatible. I knew it would be years before we even had any sort of technology that would be able to contain a drift connection that strong, and there was no sense wasting good training time when the two of you would be such strong pilots with someone else.

“And by the time we developed the new interface system that was strong enough, both Sunshine Riptide and Black Paladin were the most successful Jaegers to ever exist. It seemed foolish to move the four of you around, especially when you two hated each other so much from the beginning,” Coran explains. “After Black Paladin, I thought of trying again if Keith ever gained his health back but—he disappeared without a trace before we could.”

Silence overtakes them. The elevator has stopped at the ground floor, but it doesn’t move, doors having already closed again. The air is tense around them, and Lance doesn’t think that he’s breathing.

Coran seems to acknowledge the mood because his voice dips lower, “But now, we have engineers who can build a Jaeger strong enough for the two of you. Hunk already has the design plans and the frames built for two new Jaegers. Once Sunshine Riptide is melted down, we can get two nuclear reactors and put one in each new Jaeger. We’re on track to have them finished in two weeks.”

Two weeks. In two weeks, they expect Lance to pilot a Jaeger with Keith Kogane.

“And what are we supposed to do until then?” Allura asks the question, voice bitter and angry, just like the rest of them.

“Train with each other, develop a connection,” Coran responds. The doors to the elevator slide open then, someone on the other side having pressed the button already. He steps past them to catch the door and looks over his shoulder. He says, “I am sorry about all this, but we each have something we need to sacrifice for this war. Today is the time for you four.”

Without another word, Coran walks away, and the doors slide shut behind him.

;;

Lance grips the metal guard railing too tightly, and Allura squeezes his hand where she’s resting hers on top of his. She’s pressed into his side from where they’re standing together, head propped up on his shoulder.

Sunshine Riptide is being melted down right in front of them.

She doesn’t even look the same; Lance had barely recognized her by the time they got here. Hunk had messaged him and told them to hurry, and the mechanics had already cracked her chest open to remove the nuclear reactors and to salvage most of the wiring.

That had been hours ago. Now, Lance and Allura watch as they melt the outer coating of her armor down to go into another frame of another Jaeger. Jaegers that he and Allura will be piloting without each other.

Lance doesn’t know how they’re going to face this. He and Allura have been drifting together since they were _kids._ She’s the only one that he’s ever been in another Jaeger with and depended on when his life and the rest of the world mattered. She’s the only one he trusts to keep him from getting killed by the Kaiju.

How is he supposed to get into a Jaeger with someone else—with _Keith Kogane_ —and it be the same?

Tomorrow is going to be the worst day of his life.

Allura squeezes his hand again, like she can hear exactly what he’s thinking. She probably knows. She knows him like no one else does.

Tomorrow is going to be awful, but today, Lance still has Allura, and for the next few minutes, they still have Sunshine Riptide.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking at Keith, Lance can’t manage to find the anger that’s been festering in him since they got to the Shatterdome. He can’t feel it anymore, maybe because it doesn’t matter, or maybe because he knows it’s pointless. 
> 
> Keith Kogane will never be what Lance Sanchez needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! Sorry for the delay with this chapter. This one is a little shorter than normal, but stick with it! We're about to get to some of my favorite parts of this fic! Thanks for everyone who is reading, leaving kudos, and comments! I appreciate them so much and they make me really excited to share the rest of this fic with y'all. Keeping leaving them for me! Tell me what your fav parts of the fic are and what you hope to see in the future! 
> 
> If you wanna chat about anything, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 or on twitter @smorecreative
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

The alarm wails at 0500 hours, and Lance groans as he rolls over in bed. He wishes he could hide here all day. He doesn’t want to leave his bunk, and he especially doesn’t want to face what’s coming this morning.

Despite himself, he manages to roll out of bed. He brushes his teeth, splashes water on his face, and changes into his fatigues. By the time he’s slipping his dog tags over his neck, there’s a soft knock at the door.

Allura stands on the other side of the metal door when he opens it. Her hair is falling haphazardly around her shoulders and down her back, sticking up and out in different directions like it always does when she wakes up and rolls out of bed. Her eyes are rimmed red and swollen, and the thought that she might have cried herself to sleep last night has Lance reaching out and tugging her into his chest.

“I don’t want to do this,” she mutters.

Lance doesn’t want to clutch her too tightly. He doesn’t want to hold on so much that he won’t be able to let go because—Allura is going to be a great pilot with Pidge. They’re going to do well, and Lance will be damned if he’s the one getting in the way of them, even if he’s bitter about it.

“It’s going to be fine,” he soothes, lies, rubbing a hand across her back. “Let’s go to breakfast, and I’ll braid your hair after, okay?”

She pulls back and sighs loudly, “Okay.”

They walk to breakfast together, side by side, just like normal. They wade through the already crowded cafeteria and grab two trays of food. Lance scans the area for an empty space, but his eyes hang on a table where Pidge and Hunk are sitting.

He smiles a little and nods to Allura, crossing the room to their table. He smiles and says, “Can we sit here?”

Pidge nods sleepily, sipping the sludge-like coffee from her cup like it’s her lifeline. At least she and Allura will have that in common. Neither of them will be morning people.

Hunk smiles brightly though, and he’s excited to see them despite the early hour. He says, “Hey! I was looking for you guys!”

“Good morning to you too, buddy,” Lance laughs, digging into his food.

Hunk’s smile dims, and he pulls something out of his pocket and sets it on the table in front of him and Allura. He clears his throat and says, “I, um, actually have these for you.”

Lance feels his throat tighten when he looks down at the metal dog tags on the table. They’re glinting under the fluorescent lights, and he watches as Allura reaches out, almost in slow motion, to pick one up.

“Sunshine Riptide,” she reads quietly, voice shaking, “52 drops, 52 kills.”

Lance reaches across the table and picks up his matching dog tag, running his thumb over the engraving before turning it to the other side. “Ranger Sanchez and Ranger Altea,” he finishes reading.

“It’s the melted hull of Sunshine Riptide,” Hunk murmurs, offering them a sad smile. “I had it made for you, so you’ll always have a piece of her to carry.”

Allura’s tears have started again, and it’s enough for Lance to reach over and grip her shoulder tightly. Her voice is thick with tears when she says, “Hunk, this is amazing. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Lance nods, glancing up at him. Hunk has a few tears in his eyes too, which is just—it makes Lance’s heart hurt. It feels like the end of something big. “This is—I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Hunk says, “since we had to melt her down in the first place. But… the two new Jaegers are going to be unbelievable.”

Pidge picks up the conversation then, apparently having had enough of her coffee to function normally. She asks Hunk about the designs and systems of the Jaegers while Lance and Allura add Sunshine Riptide’s dog tag to their others.

Lance finishes his breakfast and then turns to braid Allura’s hair. He does one long braid down her back, which is his favorite, and then pats her shoulder when he’s finished. She smiles at him, and a few minutes later, they bid Hunk goodbye and head down to the training arena with Pidge.

The closer they get to the training deck, the worse Lance’s anxiety gets. He can’t stop thinking about how bad this is going to be. Just yesterday, he and Keith got into a fist fight with each other that was so bad, they almost killed each other. Lance’s eye looks even worse this morning, bruising deep and dark. He didn’t see Keith this morning in breakfast either, so that means the other pilot is probably waiting to jump him when they get to the training deck.

God, how is he supposed to do this?

Pidge and Allura are talking about something as they’re walking, but Lance honestly can’t hear them. His heart is beating too loudly.

Coran and a few other high-ranking officials are standing on the training deck, along with the other pilots for Crystal Venom, Omega Shield, and Razor Edge. They’re the only other Jaegers that the program has, and they’ll be running defense for the two new Jaegers—the ones that Allura and Pidge and Lance and Keith will be piloting—on the mission to the breach. The other pilots are already doing loose training exercises together, but they’ll probably be released in a few hours. None of them have to worry about training with a new pilot, and they all have a fair amount of experience.

Unlike Lance, Allura, Pidge, and Keith, who are expected to completely adjust to a new co-pilot and Jaeger in less than two weeks.

“Hello, Rangers!” Coran calls, motioning them forward. He’s smiling this morning, and Lance clenches his fist, squashing the urge to punch him for being so happy about all of this.

Objectively, he knows they have to do this to end the war, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to rejoice in the fact that he’s being forced to pilot a Jaeger with Keith Kogane.

“Wonderful to see you all this morning,” Coran says, as the three of them join the rest of the group. When Lance looks around at the others, he doesn’t see Keith.

Something like relief floods his chest.

“Now,” Coran continues, “we’re going to get started with Ranger Holt and Ranger Altea’s training session. Has anyone seen Ranger Kogane this morning?”

Silence.

“Ranger Sanchez?”

Lance jerks when Coran says his name. “Yes sir?”

“Where’s your co-pilot?”

On instinct, Lance reaches forward and grabs Allura’s hand, “Right he—oh.”

Something like regret flashes in Coran’s eyes while he’s looking at him, and Lance lets himself squeeze Allura’s hand before letting go. She’s looking over at him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Coran.

Lance takes a breath, “I don’t know where Kogane is. He’s not mine to keep up with.”

“Actually, he is now,” Coran corrects, and even if his voice is gentler than it could have been, Lance still feels like a damn cadet back in training that’s getting reprimanded for not knowing where his training partner is. He’s _not_ responsible for Keith. Lance wishes that Coran would just stop. “No matter! He’ll turn up soon.”

Training starts. The other pilots all group up and resume their exercises, just sparring with each other and testing their drift connections without an actual simulation. It’s something that helps all partners and co-pilots; sparring with someone that’s drift compatible is almost impossible to miss.

Absently, while he wanders over to a bench to wait, Lance thinks about the fight with Keith he had yesterday. He didn’t think that he could feel anything between them, but honestly, he had been so overwhelmed with his rage—and his relief at Keith even being alive—that he hadn’t been paying enough attention to confirm it.

He just… The drift trial that they did when they were eighteen was so intense. Lance has always been sure that it was because they were both trying to kill each other, that they just weren’t compatible in any way, shape, form, or fashion. He’s always sworn that the drift trial was so fucked up and caused them so much pain because they were just _bad_ for each other.

Thinking back on it now, Lance is positive that any drift attempt he’s ever run with Allura has never come close to feeling anything like that day with Keith had.

Pidge and Allura take up a spot in front of Lance, probably because they both feel so bad for him. Allura is trying to focus, but Pidge keeps shooting Lance anxious and worried glances. He gets it—he really does. It’s not her fault.

Lance watches them train for what feels like hours while he waits for Keith to inevitably show up. Deep down, he knows that Keith won’t. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if Keith had already stolen a car or helicopter to get the hell out of here, Kaiju and the world be damned.

Hours pass. Coran shuffles around the room from group to group, inspecting their training and eyeing Lance where he’s sitting on the bench alone. He never says anything, but he looks disappointed and discouraged. Some bitter and petty part of Lance thinks that he deserves it for what happened to Sunshine Riptide.

Pidge and Allura never get synced up in their sparring. There’s a connection there, even Lance can tell, but they can’t seem to get anything under control. They’re not even on the same page in the sparring match; Allura will win a few rounds, tossing Pidge around the mat like she weighs nothing, and then Pidge will win a couple, kicking and twisting until Allura crumbles. It’s not anywhere near where they need to be. It’s not even looking like they could get there in two weeks at this point.

Coran must see what’s happening. He calls for them to take a break for lunch, and all of the other pilots file out of the training deck, leaving them alone.

“This isn’t working, Coran,” Allura says suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Try harder,” he urges them. “It has to work. This is the only plan we have.”

“Come up with a new plan then,” she snaps, and Lance jumps forward to grab her wrist before she does something stupid.

“Hey, stop,” he murmurs to her. She’s shaking. “Calm down.”

“I don’t want to, Lance!” she bursts, yelling and whipping back to face him. “It would be different if—Keith isn’t even _here!_ Why should I bother if he’s not going to?”

Lance steps closer to her, grabbing her by the shoulders. He says, probably more serious than anything he’s said to her in a long time, “That’s my problem to worry about. I’ll deal with Keith. You have to make this work. I don’t want to do it either but—we don’t always get what we want.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Her voice breaks, and tears flood her eyes, “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I can’t pilot with someone else. I’m so sorry, Pidge, it’s not your fault but I just _can’t do it_ —”

“Yes you fucking can,” Lance snaps, shaking her harder. Tears are coming to his eyes too but—he can’t deal with this right now. They can’t be fighting about this. Lance may not want to work with anyone else either, may not want to even breathe if he’s not standing next to Allura, but that doesn’t mean that they get what they want. Billions of people all around the world are depending on them. They’re the last thing keeping the Kaiju from destroying everything. If Lance has to give up Allura to make that happen, then so fucking be it.

She’s crying now, but her eyes are blazing, like she’s ready to fight. Her hands have fisted themselves in his shirt, and she’s shaking so hard now that Lance is afraid she’s going to fall. He can barely understand her when she says, “I-I can’t—do this. Sunshine Riptide—”

“She’s gone,” Lance growls, reaching forward and grabbing Allura’s dog tag, holding it up for her to see. “This is the only thing left of her. Me and you— _we’re_ the only things left of her. We can’t go back in time. This is all we have. These dog tags and each other, that’s _it._

“And we have to deal with it,” he continues, and Allura turns her head away, tears dripping down her face now. “The world is depending on us, depending on _you._ Fuck Keith. He’s not here because he’s never understood how important this is. You and Pidge can make a difference, even if you have to do it without me and Keith.”

She’s still shaking her head, hands tightening in the fabric at his chest, “No, no, no—”

“I know you can make this work with Pidge,” he says, setting one finger under her jaw to tilt her head up, forcing her to look at him. Her blue eyes are wide and pained, and it makes his chest hurt too. “I know you can. You can feel the connection with her. It’s there; you just have to find it.”

There’s a long pause where she stares up at him, not moving, not breathing. Then, all of the fight seems to leave her at once when she whispers, “What about you?”

Lance pulls her into a hug, holding her tight against his chest. He rubs one hand across her back and murmurs, “I’ll be fine. I’ll be right here, right beside you. I promise.”

She lets her head drop to his chest, and Lance doesn’t bother moving. He just closes his eyes and hangs on to her.

;;

No one has seen Keith in two days.

Lance is pretty sure that Coran has sent out multiple search parties to scour the Shatterdome. If Keith is still here, and there’s not any evidence that he’s left, then he’s hiding somewhere, maybe shifting around the base to avoid the people searching for him. Lance hasn’t bothered, and Coran hasn’t dared ask him to yet.

After the first training session with Pidge and Allura ended so badly, Coran has backed off a little. Now, the three of them are spending more time training together, just exercising and sparring a little. Where Pidge had been friendlier and open at first, she’s distant now, more careful. Lance knows that it’s because of Allura’s breakdown in training the other day, but there’s no way to fix it right now. If Lance doesn’t have a co-pilot, then he can’t train with anyone else.

Training goes on. Lance spends the time with Pidge and Allura even though it’s a bad idea, but at least they’re in the same room together. He doesn’t like the way it makes Pidge stiffen up or hesitate with them. He’s worried that it’s doing way more harm than good, even if it is keeping Allura a little happier about this whole situation.

Another day passes with no sign of Keith. It seems like it’s all anyone at the base can talk about, _Kogane this, Kogane that._ It makes Lance’s blood boil. Why can’t other people see how Keith really is? He’s hiding from the rest of the world out of pure spite. He’s throwing away everything that they’ve ever trained for. He’s throwing away the entire _world._

It makes Lance sick.

Everything seems to get worse. Coran gets more and more agitated with what’s happening in training and with Keith not showing up. Their already small timeframe is growing even smaller. There hasn’t been another Kaiju attack since L.A., but it’s only a matter of time. They only have so long left to win the war before they lose their chance.

He’s back to sitting on the training deck with Allura and Pidge, watching their abject failure at trying to work together for what feels like the hundredth time. They just can’t seem to find and maintain the connection between them.

After the third time Allura has tossed Pidge to the ground because she just isn’t paying attention, Lance sighs and stands, crossing the mat to help her up. Allura is frustrated too, wandering in circles on the mat, pressing her hands to her eyes.

Pidge shakes her head, brushing her short hair back from her face unsteadily as she murmurs, “Thanks, Lance.”

“Hey,” he says, smiling lightly and catching her upper arm. “Pay attention to what’s going on. You need to focus.”

“I know,” she nods, not looking at him. “I just—”

Something in him breaks a little, looking down at Pidge. Her hands are fisted at her sides, and her mouth is held in a tight line. She’s shaking too, and when she looks up at him, there are frustrated tears in her eyes. His heart skips at the sight, reminding him of his sisters. It makes his chest ache, knowing that this is hurting her too.

“Hey,” he says again, more seriously this time. “Listen to me: none of this is your fault. We don’t blame you. We’re not angry with you.”

Even as Lance talks, he’s still grouping himself and Allura together. They’re still a team. He wonders if this helps the situation at all.

“I didn’t want it to happen like this!” Pidge blurts, and her voice is angry. Her tears roll down her cheeks. “I’ve dreamed of piloting my entire life, but I never wanted to take it away from someone else and—you and Allura are so nice and you’re my _friends._ How can I pilot with her when it’s messing everything up for you?”

Lance puts his hands on her shoulders, shaking her a little, “You have to. You have to pilot with Allura, so we can save the fucking world. Okay?”

“What are you going to do?” she asks. “Keith isn’t even _here_.”

“That’s my problem to worry about. Stop thinking that you’ve ruined everything. You haven’t. You and Allura are going to be amazing pilots,” Lance explains, voice more than a little rough. “But for that to happen, you have to get your head together. You have to _focus._ Allura needs you to meet her in the middle. Stop letting me get in your way.”

There’s a long moment of silence in between them. Pidge is gasping a little, trying to catch her breath, and Lance reaches out to wipe the rest of her tears away. She’s strong; Lance knows it. She and Allura just need an extra push to get to the connection, and then, they’re going to be great pilots, _amazing_ pilots. Lance can feel it already.

“You have to keep practicing,” Lance starts again, softer this time. He looks over to find Allura already looking back at them, eyes wide. “You have to find the bond between you. It’s there; even I can feel it. I wish I could tell you that you had more time, but you’re going to have a Jaeger waiting on you in just a few days. It’s crunch time. You’ve got to get it together, right now.”

Another pause, and then, “Okay.”

It’s Allura’s voice, and finally, _finally,_ she’s shifted to something that Lance recognizes. It’s every moment in Sunshine Riptide when they were staring down a Kaiju. It’s every time that she set her mind to something, every time that she was ever given a job to do.

That look makes the rest of Lance’s heart break because he knows it’s the end of everything they’ve ever had. When Allura sets her mind to something, she makes it happen. When she and Pidge finally tap into their connection, when they see how compatible they are with each other, Lance and Allura will never pilot a Jaeger together again.

He pushes the emotions far away. He can’t feel them now, not when he’s got a job to do. Not when the world is depending on them. He was right earlier; there’s no time left. This is serious. This is everything they’ve ever trained for.

When Lance looks back down to Pidge, she nods too, wiping the last of the tears away.

“Good,” he says with a nod. “Get it together. I’ll need another Jaeger watching my back when we’re out there.”

“How will that work?” Allura asks, voice hard, frustrated now. “If Keith won’t train with you—”

“If Keith won’t train with me, I’ll find someone else I’m drift compatible with,” Lance says darkly, turning and walking toward the door of the training deck. He’s had enough of waiting. It’s time for action. He continues, “And if that doesn’t work, I’ll figure out a way to pilot on my own.”

;;

It isn’t his plan to try and track down Keith. Honestly, he’s just walking, trying to avoid the training deck hoping that Pidge and Allura will get their shit together and find the connection between them in his absence. He knows that he might have gone a little overboard with the speech he gave them, but they don’t have any more options. Lance is serious about his end; he’s going to do everything he can to get into a Jaeger and help them.

It’s just his luck that when he turns a corner in one of the lesser used tunnels in the Shatterdome, he bumps right into Keith.

Keith, who hasn’t been seen for days. Keith, who Lance is apparently drift compatible with, who runs away from his responsibilities.

Keith, who stares back at him like just seeing Lance is burning his eyes.

Looking at Keith, Lance can’t manage to find the anger that’s been festering in him since they got to the Shatterdome. He can’t feel it anymore, maybe because it doesn’t matter, or maybe because he knows it’s pointless.

Keith Kogane will never be what Lance Sanchez needs.

They stand in the hallway, staring at each other, for a few long moments. There’s nothing friendly about it. Instead, it’s like they’re two wild animals, waiting to see who’s going to attack first. It’s nothing like how it should be.

_I’ve hated you since you ruined our first drift trial._

Lance closes his eyes, thinks about the expression, the _snarl_ on Keith’s face when he’d said that during their fight a few days ago. He’d looked ready to kill Lance, like he would have in a moment’s notice.

Lance is tired. He moves to step around Keith.

“Where are you going?”

Keith’s voice stops him when he’s just a few steps away. His words are enough to make him turn around to look back. If anything, Lance had been expecting another insult, maybe another fight, and even more likely, for Keith to run away again.

“It’s pointless with you, isn’t it?”

The words come out of Lance’s mouth before he can stop them. But—it’s true. He doesn’t even want to bother with Keith anymore. He doesn’t have the energy, and he doesn’t want to waste the time. His family, everyone else in the entire _world,_ is depending on the pilots to get their shit together and save the day. He doesn’t have time for these petty arguments and this stupid rivalry with Keith. Not anymore.

Keith doesn’t say anything; he just keeps staring at Lance.

Lance turns to leave again, and stops when Keith says, “What are you going to do?”

“Whatever I can to help.”

Another pause, and then, “Good luck then.”

Lance rolls his eyes in disgust, already turning and walking away. He says, “I don’t need luck, Keith. I need a co-pilot that actually gives a fuck about the world. I should have known I’d never be able to find that in you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about being a Jaeger pilot is that the entire world depends on you to keep them safe. You’re the only thing standing in between a Kaiju, the worst monster to exist, and the rest of civilization. It’s a lot of pressure, and it’s a lot of glory.
> 
> Normally, Lance thrives on it, loves the attention, the importance of the job. With Allura and Sunshine Riptide, piloting had been the most important thing he’d ever done in his entire life. It’d been the most important job he could ever think of having. And he’d loved it, more than anything.
> 
> Now, he finds himself wondering what the hell he’s going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends! FINALLY, some lance and keith interaction!!! I hope y'all are as excited for the rest of this fic as I am. Thanks for reading, and thanks for leaving comments!! Keep them coming! Let me know what your fav parts of this fic are and what you hope to see in the future. 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

The thing about being a Jaeger pilot is that the entire world depends on you to keep them safe. You’re the only thing standing in between a Kaiju, the worst monster to exist, and the rest of civilization. It’s a lot of pressure, and it’s a lot of glory.

Normally, Lance thrives on it, loves the attention, the importance of the job. With Allura and Sunshine Riptide, piloting had been the most important thing he’d ever done in his entire life. It’d been the most important job he could ever think of having. And he’d loved it, more than anything.

Now, he finds himself wondering what the hell he’s going to do.

“C’mon, buddy,” Hunk says, interrupting his brooding with a clap on his shoulder. “It’s going to work out. Let me show you the design I’ve got going for your new Jaeger.”

Lance sighs and pushes himself up from the ground, following Hunk into the small workspace he has on the building dock.

This morning after breakfast, Lance came to find Hunk. He’d spent the rest of yesterday wallowing, trying to figure out a plan of some sorts. He hadn’t wanted to bother Pidge and Allura with it, but when he came up to the first level of the Shatterdome, where the mechanics station is, the first thing he did was find Hunk.

This level of the Shatterdome is louder than any other. Lance knows why Hunk likes it, that he likes to build and create the Jaegers that defend the world from the Kaiju. And sure, it’s amazing as hell, but the noise, sparks, and machines tend to give Lance a headache after a while. He’s always preferred being on the training deck with his co-pilot.

But he doesn’t have one now, so he can’t be there anyway.

The two new Jaegers are being built faster than any other Jaegers ever before. Hunk has been talking about their designs since Coran announced the new plan, and usually, Lance would be all over it. He and Allura had been in Mechanical Engineering every single day in the L.A. Shatterdome, trying to get more information on Sunshine Riptide when she was being built. Now, looking at the scrap metal and forged frame for the two new Jaegers, he can’t help but feel bitter about it.

“Hunk,” Lance sighs, once they’re inside his workstation with the door shut. “Are you sure you can’t build me a Jaeger I can pilot on my own?”

Hunk sighs too, echoing his mood. He’s been just as disappointed with Keith as Lance. Hunk sits down in his work chair, running a hand over his dark hair and tightening his yellow headband. He shakes his head and says, “Lance, you know I would if I could. Listen, even if we tried something like that, _even if_ we had the time, it would never work. The strain of the neural connection would crush your brain instantly. You can see where I’m not too fond of that idea.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” Hunk admits. “I mean… have you tried talking to him?”

Lance rolls his eyes, “I’m pretty sure he’d rather kill me than talk to me.”

“It’s just…” Hunk finishes with another loud sigh.

“What?”

“Coran gave me orders to build the Jaegers specifically for the new pilots,” Hunk explains, and Lance’s heart drops to his stomach. “One is designed for Pidge and Allura, and the other is designed for you and Keith.”

“How specifically?”

“ _Real_ specifically,” his eyes are wide, anxious. “So specific that another set of pilots wouldn’t be able to even connect in a drift simulation because it’s built only for you guys.”

Lance doesn’t even know what to say. He didn’t know that was even possible but—

God, of _course_ this is happening to him. Of fucking _course._

There’s a long, long pause between them.

“Shit,” Lance curses, cradling his head in his hands. “We’re so fucked.”

“Not if we can get Keith to come to his senses,” Hunk argues, standing up from his chair, expression serious. He continues, “I mean, he and Shiro were awesome pilots, and Black Paladin was a mediocre Jaeger at best. Her core design was _nothing_ like what this one will be. It’s going to be like getting in a luxury car when you’ve been riding a bike for your entire life. If we can just get Keith to understand that then maybe—”

Lance interrupts him, “I don’t think the Jaeger is going to make much difference when he still has to pilot it with me.”

“And like, what’s the deal with that?” Hunk asks, tone shifting to anger. “I mean, sure, you’re not always the easiest to get along with, but I don’t understand why he won’t even try training with you. What happened?”

“I don’t _know_ ,” he replies, feeding off the validation that Hunk is giving him. He really is the best. Lance continues, “We’ve always fought, but it’s… I literally thought we were going to kill each other when we got into that fight the other day. And I did say some awful stuff about Shiro, but… it wasn’t any different than what Keith has said about me in the past. We’ve always been like that with each other, you know? And sure, the last thing I would ever want to do is drift with him again, but… we don’t have another _fucking_ option. He’s just ready to let the world end instead of training with me.”

Hunk nods seriously, “Listen, I know you don’t want to, but you don’t have another option. Like you just said, Keith is it. There’s no one else. So, you’re going to have to find him and deal with this. You’ve got to make him understand that you guys have to work together.”

Obviously, Lance knows that Hunk is right. There’s not another option, especially if the new Jaeger is being built specifically for them. But… how the hell is Lance supposed to make Keith listen? Fuck, how is Lance even going to get Keith to _talk_ to him?

Before Lance can say anything else about it, there’s a sharp, beeping ringtone coming from Hunk’s tablet on his desk. They both look down at it, eyes widening in surprise when they see it’s an incoming call from Coran.

Hunk answers it quickly, “Yes, Marshall?”

“Good morning, Hunk!” Coran’s voice doesn’t sound exactly… happy, but his usual excitement is still there. “Is Ranger Sanchez in Mechanical Engineering? Ranger Holt informed me he wasn’t on the training deck this morning.”

Lance sighs, “I’m here, Marshall.”

“Great. Come to my office straight away,” he disconnects the feed as soon as he gives the order.

There’s another pause between them, and Lance feels the anxiety in his chest soften when Hunk reaches across the desk to set a comforting hand on his shoulder. This is the reason that his friendship with Hunk has survived for so long. They’re brothers.

“You going to be okay?” Hunk asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Lance straightens his shoulders, nods, and says, “Yeah. Keep working on that Jaeger for me, okay, man?”

Hunk smiles a little and waves as Lance walks out, “You got it, buddy.”

;;

Even though the first drift trial that Lance and Keith did when they were eighteen only lasted a few minutes, there’s something about being in somebody else’s head that creates a permanent connection with them. For weeks after the simulation, Lance was still reliving Keith’s leftover memories and feelings. They often chased him out of his own dreams at night, these awkward, foreign feelings that made him wonder what the hell was happening to him. Even after all these years with Allura and the physical distance between him and Keith, sometimes, it still happens. He’ll wake up with Keith’s memories on his mind, and it just adds fuel to the fire, thinking about how he and Keith have never been able to get over it.

Another side effect of their drift trial is that Lance can always, _always_ pick up on Keith’s voice. It’s something about the timbre of it, the way that it starts deep in his chest and rises with his anger. It’s something that drives Lance crazy too because there’s never really been a time between them when they were even friends, and Lance shouldn’t like the sound of his voice as much as he does. No, he should hate it. Honestly, Lance isn’t sure if it’s because it was his very first drift simulation or if it’s just because of how strong it was with Keith.

It’s one of the reasons that Lance pauses before knocking on Coran’s office door. When he walks up, he can hear Keith’s voice on the other side of the door. It’s just a murmur, not enough for him to understand what’s going on, but it’s there all the same.

Lance forces himself to knock anyway. A few seconds later, Coran is there, pulling the door open and motioning him inside.

Keith is standing in the middle of the room, frowning, eyes burning as he watches Lance walk inside. He’s wearing street clothes and a heavy jacket. There’s a duffel bag sitting at his feet, and Lance zeroes in on it, wondering if Keith is being shipped out or if Coran has just caught him and stopped him from leaving on his own.

Looking at him now, Lance isn’t sure which it could be.

“Ranger Sanchez,” Coran starts, closing the door before moving farther into the office, standing behind his desk a few feet away from where Keith is hovering. “You weren’t on the training deck this morning.”

“No sir,” Lance says, keeping his eyes off Keith. “I don’t have a co-pilot to train with.”

“Ranger Kogane is your co-pilot.”

“Kogane has been missing for days. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to train with me.”

Usually, Coran is very patient. Hell, he’s been the best Marshall that Lance has ever had before, probably the best in the history of the PPDC as well. He’s always kind, patient, and understanding. He’s led them through Kaiju battle after Kaiju battle when they’ve faced both victory and defeat gracefully. It’s rare that he yells, and it’s rarer that he gets upset. At this point in his life, Lance considers him a close friend.

But now, Coran snaps. He slams his hands onto the desk, which is enough to make Lance jump in surprise. His voice is anything but understanding when he says, “Have _I_ not made it clear that you’re to train with him anyway? Have I not made it _clear_ that he’s your co-pilot?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then, tell me, why are you not on the training deck?”

Lance clenches his jaw and remains silent. Coran _knows_ why he’s not on the training deck this morning.

There’s another long, stiff pause between them. It’s heavy and awkward. Lance forces himself to keep his eyes on Coran, to not look over at Keith, who probably doesn’t care at all about this conversation or anything it entails. He’s probably counting down the seconds until he can get out of the office and out of the Shatterdome for good.

“Sir,” Keith starts, and Lance whips his head over to look at him in shock, “you made a mistake in thinking that we’re drift compatible. There’s no way that—”

“Keith Kogane,” Coran interrupts, and his voice is eerily, _deadly_ quiet, “do you think that I would risk the fate of the entire world on you if I weren’t sure about it?”

Another pause.

“Because that’s what this boils down to,” Coran continues. “I gave you a direct order. As your Marshall, I expect you to follow my orders when I give them. If we weren’t short on pilots and if the world wasn’t about to end, don’t think I wouldn’t throw you out of here without a second thought.”

Objectively, Lance knows that Coran isn’t chastising him, but the conversation still makes him sweat a little, even for Keith.

“But, we don’t have another option right now. The only way that we _might_ manage to complete our plan and save the world is with you two at the helm of a new Jaeger. I know that you don’t get along, but goddammit, I don’t care!”

Lance has never, not once, heard Coran swear before.

“You will train with Ranger Sanchez, and you will start _today._ ”

“And if I refuse?” Keith asked.

“If you refuse, then the world will end, and it will be on your shoulders. Not mine, not Ranger Sanchez’s, but _yours_. If you think you can live with yourself, then by all means, leave,” Coran says. He pauses, stepping around the desk until he’s only a few feet from Keith. His voice is hard when he continues, “But if you leave today, then don’t expect to ever return to us because there won’t be anything left for you here.”

A flash of anger and hurt crosses Keith’s face, but it’s gone in an instant. Lance only manages to see it because he’s staring at Keith anyway.

And this whole conversation… Lance needs to do something. If Keith really is going to be his co-pilot, then it’s Lance _job_ to step up for him in situations like this. The only way that Lance can expect Keith to treat him any differently than he has in the past is for Lance himself to break their pattern and extend an olive branch.

“Sir,” Lance interrupts before he really knows what he’s planning on saying, “it won’t be a problem. We’ll start training today. Is there anything else?”

Coran shifts his gaze to Lance, and by the look on his face, he knows exactly what’s going on, why Lance has suddenly decided to speak up. He nods and says, “I expect you two to figure it out. Whatever you have between you, whatever these problems are, you leave them in this office when you walk out. You both have a job to do. It’s time to put old grudges aside. Half of the pilots in this Shatterdome, including myself, would die to be in your shoes. Don’t forget that.”

Lance swallows, nodding. He knows how much Coran would rather pilot than anything else. His piloting skills had been legendary when his co-pilot was still alive. People always talked about how their bond had been so strong that there wasn’t another person on the planet that Coran would be drift compatible with. After Alfor, Allura’s _father_ , had been killed in a Kaiju attack, Coran had never piloted again.

It’s eerily similar to their own situation. Lance finds himself wondering who’s angrier now: Keith or Coran. If Lance has to guess, he’d say that it was unmeasurable.

“The next time I see you two,” Coran starts again, voice fierce, “you will have this under control. Your Jaeger will be ready in a few short days, and you will _both_ be ready for a drift simulation as soon as it’s available. You’re dismissed. Get out of my sight.”

Lance flicks his gaze over to Keith, who’s staring down at the ground, before making his way out of the office. Coran has always been reasonable, and it’s completely understandable why he’s so angry at them right now.

Out in the hallway, both of them remain silent for a long moment.

“You didn’t have to say that,” Keith speaks suddenly, glancing up at him. His dark eyes are wide, and there’s so many emotions there that it’s hard for Lance to decipher what he’s thinking. “About us training together. I know you don’t want to train with me either.”

_Either_ , Lance thinks, rolling his eyes to himself. Even after all that, it’s unsurprising to learn that Keith still doesn’t want to train with him.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Lance corrects, voice fierce but not angry. “I want you to get your shit together so we can co-pilot our fucking Jaeger and save the world. I want you to stop running away.”

Keith’s eyes widen at the admission. Not once in their entire lives has Lance ever been this honest with Keith, this open. Their conversations have always, at their best, been snide remarks, insults, and the occasional left hook thrown at each other. They’ve never been able to talk to one another without it blowing up into something else.

And Lance is tired.

“Fine.”

“What?” Lance asks, surprised. He didn’t expect Keith to say anything at all.

Keith rolls his eyes, looking irritated, infuriated. He says, “I said fine. We don’t have another choice.”

Lance scowls, “You could still leave. I’m not going to be the one doing all the work. That’s not how piloting a Jaeger works.”

“I think I know how to pilot a fucking Jaeger,” Keith growls, hefting his bag over his shoulder. He turns away, looking back at Lance. “Even if I left, where the hell would I go? I don’t have anything except this.”

“Then why were you so ready to leave earlier?”

“If I had wanted to leave, I would be gone already.”

Keith makes it halfway down the hall to the elevator before Lance can think of anything to say. He calls, “We have to start training.”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Keith—”

“I’m not arguing. I’ll start training with you tomorrow morning.”

The elevator doors open, and Keith climbs into it, avoiding Lance’s gaze while the door closes and leaving Lance standing alone in the hallway with a broken promise.

;;

Tomorrow morning comes quickly.

After Keith left him again, Lance had gone back to his own bunk and stayed there for the better part of the day. Thankfully, he didn’t run into Coran for the rest of the day, and when Allura came to get him for dinner, he explained what happened. Lance wasn’t surprised when she was pissed about it; honestly, it was nice to have someone else be able to be angry at Keith, especially when there was still so much he could be angry about.

But it’s a waste of time to be angry with Keith. Rationally, Lance knows this, but realistically, when they get into the drift simulation, Keith will know exactly how Lance feels about all of this.

Allura meets Lance outside of his bunk, and they walk to breakfast together. Her training with Pidge has finally started getting better; yesterday, they were able to spar together while feeling the connection. Allura tells him about it excitedly on their way to breakfast, and some hideous, horrible part of Lance wants to be bitter that it’s actually working out for them, but there’s really no point. It’s just like how being angry at Keith would be: pointless and a waste of time.

And he’s really glad that Allura and Pidge’s training is starting to work out. At least someone’s is.

The cafeteria is as crowded as always when they enter. There’s a loud buzz of conversation even though it’s early, and they grab their rations and some water before making their way over to their usual table, where Hunk and Pidge are sitting. Pidge sips her coffee in greeting as they sit, not awake enough to speak yet.

Lance settles into his seat beside Allura and across from Hunk, who’s smiling at him and just being a great friend in general. Lance had woken up this morning dreading everything, but his friends—his _family_ at this point—make everything so much better.

“Can I sit here?”

The familiar voice jostles Lance from his thoughts, and he looks up to find Keith standing next to him, clutching his tray. His expression is blank, feigning nonchalance, but Lance can see the nervous glint in his eyes, the hint of anxiety behind the question.

He nods and pats the empty spot next to him. Keith sits without another word.

After a weird pause, Hunk exchanges a glance with Lance and says, “Morning, Keith.”

Keith grunts in reply, digging into his food like he hasn’t eaten in weeks.

Lance sighs and looks back to his own food. He feels Allura touch his arm lightly, but he doesn’t say anything, just quirks his lips up into a smile that he knows she sees.

“I hate this fucking coffee,” Pidge says finally, breaking the silence. Her voice is rough enough that it’s probably the first thing she’s said all day.

Allura hums in agreement, “It does look like sludge, perhaps even mud.”

“It tastes like it too,” Hunk nods too, and Lance wants to laugh at the conversation they’ve resorted to, talking about shitty coffee when they’re in the middle of a war.

The table plunges back into silence, and it’s awkward. The rest of the cafeteria is loud and buzzing, and Lance feels out of place without their usual chatter over breakfast. Keith doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe he doesn’t care. He just keeps eating, taking a sip of his water every few minutes.

“I knew Shiro,” Pidge says suddenly, breaking the odd silence between the five of them, and Lance feels his heart sink. Shiro is probably the _last_ thing they need to talk about today. Keith freezes, gaze shooting over to hers at her voice. She clears her throat and continues, “My dad was the one who did the initial design work for Black Paladin even though it was years before she was finally built.”

Lance watches carefully. Keith is staring at her, but he doesn’t look angry. Lance has no idea what he’s going to say.

Eventually, he nods, “Sam Holt was your father. I’m sorry about what happened at the Santiago base.”

She shrugs, and it catches in Lance’s memory just after Keith says it. That’s why her name sounded so familiar when Coran first introduced her. Sam Holt was one of the Commanders of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. When he was stationed in Santiago, Chile with his son, Matt Holt, they piloted a Jaeger together. After a few successful runs, they were taken down by a Cat 2 Kaiju off the coast of South America.

Lance hadn’t had any idea that’s who she was. No wonder she’s drift compatible with Allura; her father and brother had been legends with their design work and engineering before they were killed fighting the Kaiju.

“Thanks, Keith,” Pidge says. “Shiro used to be around a lot when they were designing his first Jaeger, when my mom and I lived on the base with Dad and Matt. Shiro was the one that took me on the simulator the first time.”

Keith quirks his mouth into a smile that lands more as a grimace. He says, “Me too.”

They fall back into silence, and a few seconds later, Allura asks, “Hunk, how are the Jaegers?”

Hunk smiles, “Ahead of schedule so far! Coran gave me pretty much free range on all the stuff I wanted to do as long as I had them built in time, so they’re going to be awesome. It won’t be long before we can start getting to the aesthetic design and names! So, you guys should be thinking of what we can do on that end.”

Lance had almost forgotten that he and Keith would have to work together to design and name their Jaeger. He wonders how much of a disaster that’s going to be.

“Jaegers always have such cool names,” Pidge says, smiling. “How did you guys name Sunshine Riptide?”

Thinking of the story makes Lance laugh. He looks over to Allura and smiles, “When we finished training and graduated, Allura was still in her 2010s pop punk phase and in love with Pete Wentz.”

“Shut up!” she laughs, but her face is red. “You were too!”

Lance laughs again, “We stole “Sunshine Riptide” from a Fall Out Boy song. Kind of a lame story, but still a badass name.”

Everyone is smiling around the table, and when Lance looks back over to Keith, he’s not scowling, which is better than nothing at this point. Lance can’t read the expression on his face, but at least they’re not fighting.

“What about Black Paladin, Keith?” Hunk asks the question, voice soft.

Keith hesitates before rolling his eyes, “Shiro had a nobility complex, so that’s where “paladin” came from. He played a lot of D&D. I actually chose “red,” but Engineering made a mistake with the design and she came back painted black instead of red. It seemed stupid to name her anything else. Shiro laughed about it for weeks.”

They all laugh, and Hunk starts talking about rejected Jaeger names. Pidge spews her nasty coffee all over the table when Hunk tells them about a set of pilots who tried to pick “Rockhard Testosterone,” which was one of the worst names he’s ever heard, and the conversation gets them though the rest of breakfast. By the time they’re getting up to leave to go to the training deck, they’ve drifted back to silence again.

Walking to the training deck is—weird. Hunk leaves them at the elevator as he heads up to Mechanical Engineering, and Lance falls into step with Allura without meaning too, leaving Pidge to walk on her other side while Keith stalks away in front of them.

Thankfully, the rest of the pilots have good sense to get out of their way today. The four of them have most of the training deck to themselves, which is good because Lance can feel the tension coming back in waves as he slips out of his boots. Keith is frowning again, and he turns away completely when Allura brushes a hand across Lance’s shoulders before crossing the mat to get started with Pidge.

Lance sits on the ground and starts stretching, and Keith hovers a few feet away from him. He frowns over at him and says, “Not going to stretch?”

Keith shakes his head.

“Well, I am.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

After finishing his stretching, like a _rational_ human, Lance rolls to his feet. Keith tosses him one of the wooden sparring sticks, and it hits his chest a little too hard. Lance has to take a second to breathe so he doesn’t scream and call Keith something awful out of habit.

They settle across the mat from each other. Keith is staring at him now, but his eyes are narrowed, like he’s looking for a weakness. Lance smirks at him, and without warning, Keith launches himself forward into an attack.

Lance jumps back, immediately on the defensive. After a few strikes that Lance meets evenly, Keith backs off, stalking around him.

“Problem?” Lance asks.

“Not yet,” he replies, throwing himself forward again.

The next few minutes are full of unsuccessful sparring and scuffling. Keith manages to swipe Lance’s legs out from under him, sending him to the ground, and a few strikes later, Lance flips Keith so hard he lands on his back with a thud.

Keith crawls back to his feet, murder flashing in his eyes. Lance drops his sparring staff to the floor and holds up his fists instead, and Keith echoes his movement. This time, it’s Lance who springs forward first, attacking Keith with everything he has.

Now that Lance is paying attention, now that they don’t have the extra space and barriers, that they’re fist to fist, skin to skin, Lance can finally feel the connection between them. It’s simmering right there at the surface, boiling hot. It’s eating Lance’s stomach up because how in the _hell_ had he not noticed it before? It’s overwhelming, it’s uncontrollable, _god—_

It’s _burning._

Keith throws a right hook that catches Lance in the jaw, which rattles his skull and teeth, but on his way down, he sweeps his feet through Keith’s legs and knocks him over, taking him down too.

“This is a waste of fucking time,” Keith grumbles, getting to his feet roughly. Lance follows, one hand cradling his jaw where Keith punched him.

“Too fucking bad,” Lance retorts, tired of being nice about it. Is Keith even paying attention? Can’t he _feel_ the connection between them? He continues, “There’s a connection between us, you dumbass.”

Keith stops pacing on the mat, turning back to look at him. His hair is wild around his face, and his eyes are narrowed. He’s clenching his fists, like he’s dying to punch Lance again. When Lance meets his gaze, Keith’s expression reminds him of the aftermath of their first drift trial. Keith had looked at him with the same amount of loathing and disgust that day.

Lance sighs and turns away. Allura and Pidge are taking a break too, grabbing some water as they watch. Pidge’s eyes are sympathetic, and Lance is glad for it, but when he looks over to Allura, all he can see is rage and fury in her gaze.

_Uh oh_ , is the only thing he has time to think before Allura crushes her half empty bottle in her hand and throws it at Keith’s head.

The ruined bottle hits Keith square in the back of the head, and he spins around, eyes on fire. He starts toward her, and Allura walks forward at the same time, so Lance moves to get in between them. This is the last thing that any of them needs now, dammit—

But then, Allura takes a breath and says, “Shiro would be so disappointed in you if he were here,” and Lance thinks _oh god, no._

Keith’s eyes flash dangerously as he looks her over, and Lance steps in between them, pushing Allura back. She shouldn’t be talking about Shiro. When Lance did it, Keith looked like he was ready to kill him, and _fuck,_ he’d tried honestly.

“Don’t talk about him,” Keith says, voice low and dangerous.

“Why not?” Allura demands, pushing herself up onto her toes to tower over Lance’s shoulder so she can see Keith better. “He’d look right at you and tell you how stupid you’re being about all of this. You’re ready to let the world end because you won’t train with Lance. Which is—so _fucked up._ Lance is the best goddamn co-pilot anyone could ever ask for and you’re acting like it will kill you to pilot with him.

“So yeah,” she finishes, snarling, “I’ll say whatever the hell I want to about Shiro. He would be genuinely sad. He worked so hard and helped you so much and you—you’re just throwing it all away! Do you even know how much he loved you?”

Keith stalks closer during her speech, and now, he’s close enough for Lance to reach out and get a hand on his chest to keep them apart. Keith bares his teeth and growls, “Of course I fucking know that. He was my _brother_.”

“Then why don’t you act like it and honor his memory?” Allura asks, venom filling her voice. She’s gripping Lance’s arm too tight; he’s going to have bruises from her fingers. “Do you think he would be proud of you right now? You think he would rejoice in the fact that all you can do is run away?”

Underneath his hand, Lance can feel Keith’s heart racing in his chest. They’re edging toward a line here, an invisible one that Keith has drawn in the sand somewhere. Lance is afraid that if they go over it, if he lets Allura keep talking, then they won’t ever be able to go back. You can’t take back words once they’ve been spoken out loud, and you can’t take away the pain that they caused.

Keith doesn’t say anything, but his dark eyes are on fire.

“Shiro would be—”

Keith interrupts her, and his voice is low and rough, “Do you have any fucking idea what happened the last time I was in a Jaeger?”

Allura hesitates at that, but she’s not finished yet. She says, “Plenty of us have almost died in our Jaegers. That’s our _job_.”

Keith growls, furious, “What if it had been Sunshine Riptide instead of Black Paladin getting that deployment? Huh? What if it had been _Lance_ instead of Shiro? Would you be so fucking willing to get into another Jaeger with a pilot who already had someone he was drift compatible with?”

Allura flinches back from his words, and even the thought has Lance scrambling. He doesn’t know what he’d do either. If it had been them instead of Keith and Shiro that day—he doesn’t know.

“I know I wouldn’t run away from my job,” Allura hisses.

Keith lunges forward, but Lance shoves him back, not letting go of where he has his hand fisted in Keith’s shirt. Allura is pushing up against his back, trying to get around him to Keith, and Lance closes his eyes.

“That’s enough!” he snaps, shoving Allura backward too. She stumbles a little, and Pidge is there to catch her, hands on Allura’s arms to steady her. Lance keeps his grip on Keith and turns to look at him, repeating, “That’s enough.”

Silence echoes over the training deck. The other pilots that had been on the outskirts of the room are gone now, probably fleeing when they heard the fight get started. Allura and Pidge are still standing side by side, with Pidge gripping her wrist while Allura catches her breath.

Keith’s chest is heaving too. Lance doesn’t know if it’s because of the training they’ve done or what Allura has said to him.

“That’s enough,” Lance says for a third time, feeling his own heart rushing in his chest. He’s breathing hard too. “I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take any more fighting. I’m so fucking _tired_.”

There’s a long, long pause between them. Keith hasn’t moved, and he’s close enough that Lance still has his fist clenched in his shirt. He’s staring right back at Lance, dark eyes wide, intense, unreadable. There’s a light scratch at his temple where Lance must have gotten him during their fight and—

“Okay, _fuck_ , okay,” Keith sighs all at once, and the sound is exasperated and exhausted, like it takes everything out of him just to say it.

“Okay _what?_ ”

Keith is looking at him so intensely that Lance legitimately wonders if his gaze will catch fire. Lance has been chasing after this look from Keith since their first days at the Garrison, and he’s _always_ felt like he could drown in Keith’s eyes.

Keith reaches up and grabs Lance’s shoulder. His grip is too tight. He says, “Show me.”

“Show you what, Keith?” Lance asks tiredly.

“You said there’s a connection between us,” Keith says, and Lance feels his heart _swoop_ in his stomach. “Show me where it is.”

Lance regards Keith for one, two, three seconds before he pulls back, knocking Keith’s arm off his shoulder. He takes one large step backward, pulls his fists up, and settles into a defensive position.

Keith smirks and launches himself forward.

And something must be different, something must have changed between them in the last few seconds because where the bond and connection was boiling and burning before, now, it’s on fire. Lance feels like he’s melting from the inside out and like he would stand in the heat until there’s nothing left.

They grapple with each other roughly. Keith grabs Lance and flips him over his shoulder, but before he hits the ground, Lance kicks at Keith’s knees and rolls out of his hold. Keith spins back as he falls on top of Lance, and Lance reaches up, grabbing his shoulders and flipping him back to the ground, pinning him there.

Keith narrows his gaze, and Lance ducks out of the way right as Keith plans to knock him off.

The fight continues. Every second feels like hours, like an unmeasurable amount of time. The tension between them is as thick as the bond is tight, and Lance _knows_ he was right about the connection. He’s never felt this way before, not with Allura, and not with Keith when they were eighteen.

Sparring with another pilot has always been the first step in testing drift compatibility with Jaeger pilots, and right now, Lance can’t breathe because of the intensity of their bond. It’s fire. Where Lance and Allura’s bond was like water, an even trade-off, a force that flowed and swirled between them, the bond between Lance and Keith is raging, burning. It’s like brute destruction and the smoke and ash that comes after it. There’s something about it that’s addicting too, something about it that makes Lance feel like he can’t breathe and shouldn’t want to.

And it’s clearer than anything he’s ever felt before. They’re not even in a Jaeger right now, but they’re so close and so _there_ that Lance can tell what Keith is going to do in the split second before he does it.

Keith throws a punch toward him, and Lance steps in close, grabbing his fist and twisting. Keith accommodates for it, throwing his weight against Lance, trapping his arms together, and they freeze there, faces barely a few centimeters apart.

In that second, when their eyes meet, the connection between them feels like it’s alive.

Keith’s eyes are wide, face awed.

Lance feels his cheeks flaming, so he pushes away, gathering his limbs and stepping out of Keith’s space. He clears his throat and shakily says, “Still don’t believe me?”

“I never said I didn’t believe you.” Keith’s voice is weak too.

Lance rolls his eyes, “You didn’t have to say it out loud, idiot.”

There’s another long pause between them. Keith continues to stare, and it’s still so intense that Lance has to turn away. He spots Pidge and Allura standing at the edge of the mat, staring at them, shocked, like what they’ve just done is impossible.

And honestly, it kind of feels like it is.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want to talk about?” Lance makes himself ask the question even though he’d rather sit in silence until Keith inevitably runs away again. 
> 
> “God, Lance, what do you think I want to talk about?”
> 
> The resignation in Keith’s voice makes Lance frown and look back at him. Keith doesn’t sound angry. In fact, he just sounds tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! I'm so excited to post this chapter! I wanna thank you guys for all the great comments and kudos on this fic and on MTA (the zombie apocalypse fic, if you haven't read it, go now!) because they make me really excited to keep writing and posting fic. Keep it up!! 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and twitter @smorecreative 
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

“Hunk said I would find you here.”

The voice startles Lance out of his thoughts, and he turns to see Keith standing behind him. He’s holding two trays of food, and his hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail at the base of his neck. His eyes are wide, honest, Lance thinks, and it feels like the first time Keith has ever really looked at him.

After training, Keith hadn’t been able to do much but stare at him. Eventually, Lance had sighed and left the training deck. Even when Keith could see and feel the connection for himself, it still felt like he wasn’t willing to talk about it, and Lance was serious earlier when he said he was done with this. He’s given everything that he has to this war, and he doesn’t have anything left.

“Why were you asking?”

“Because you’re my co-pilot, and I didn’t know where you were,” Keith says it like it’s nothing, admits it like it’s nothing. He continues, “And because I want to talk to you.”

Lance finds himself rolling his eyes, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs, propping his chin onto his knees. He keeps his eyes on the construction in front of him. When he left the training deck, he’d come all the way up to the top level of the Shatterdome to Engineering and Mechanics, and now, he’s sitting on one of the platforms facing the engineering docks where the new Jaegers are being built. Lance is watching the one that he’s supposed to pilot with Keith as they weld the first frame onto the structure of the Jaeger. Theoretically, Lance and Keith will be the ones to design it, but with the way they’re working together now (i.e. _not_ ), Lance doubts that it ever happens.

Keith sits down in the space next to him and pushes one of the trays toward him.

Watching their new Jaeger being built is like watching the world end, Lance decides. He hates how different this Jaeger is, hates that some of the scraps from Sunshine Riptide are going to be in there. Most of all, he hates how much he wants to pilot it, how much he wants to be in a Jaeger again, even if it’s with Keith.

“What do you want to talk about?” Lance makes himself ask the question even though he’d rather sit in silence until Keith inevitably runs away again.

“God, Lance, what do you think I want to talk about?”

The resignation in Keith’s voice makes Lance frown and look back at him. Keith doesn’t sound angry. In fact, he just sounds _tired._

“Where are we even supposed to start?” he asks because damn, he doesn’t know where to even begin with Keith anymore. For so long, it’s been like this between them. How are they supposed to be different?

“I don’t know,” Keith replies, but at least his voice is honest. There’s another long pause between them, only interrupted by the sounds of their Jaeger being built in front of them. Finally, Keith sighs and pushes the tray even closer to him. He says, “Can you just eat something?”

Lance alternates between staring at the tray and up at Keith. It takes him a few seconds to make a decision but—Keith is here and he’s waiting. He’s not running. He’s sitting down, bringing food, and he’s ready to talk.

So, Lance grabs the water from his tray and takes a sip.

A long moment passes between them. Keith is sitting a few feet away from him, legs dangling from the balcony they’re sitting on. He’s leaning forward, resting his arms on the railing, and Lance watches him. It’s probably the least aggressive that he’s _ever_ seen Keith. Even his expression is clear of any anger. Sure, his shoulders are tense, like he’s dreading this, but at least he’s here.

Lance guesses it’s better than nothing.

“Okay,” Lance starts the conversation. Keith obviously isn’t going to. “Why now, Keith? Why not before? Nothing’s changed.”

“Everything’s changed.”

Lance wants to roll his eyes because _no,_ nothing is actually any different. There hasn’t been anything that’s changed at all in the past day. The only thing that’s different now is the fact that Keith is here, that he’s listening.

But participation doesn’t win a war. In the game they’re playing, you don’t get an _A_ just for showing up.

“Tell me what’s different then,” Lance sighs, looking over to him. “I don’t know how to do this with you.”

“Because we’ve never even had a normal conversation,” Keith grumbles.

“Exactly!”

“What, so you’re saying it’s my fault that we’re like this?”

Lance sighs again, pressing his hands into his eyes. He’s so _tired._ He says, “I don’t give a fuck whose fault it is. We can’t just—argue and snap at each other when we’re in a Jaeger together. I’ve told you: I’m tired of fighting with you.”

“I am too.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Lance counters. Right now, he wishes he was at home. He wants to be in his mom’s house, with his siblings, his niece and nephew, and the dogs. He doesn’t want to be in the Shatterdome anymore. He doesn’t want to be a part of this war anymore. He’s—so fucking tired of this. How are they even supposed to get past this now?

“I am,” Keith argues, which really proves Lance’s whole point. They’re fighting about not fighting with each other.

Another long pause takes up the space between them when Lance doesn’t answer. Keith is right; they’ve never had a normal conversation before. That ship sailed when they first met, back at eighteen in the Garrison when Keith had no idea who he was and Lance refused to let go of his jealousy.

_Fuck,_ Lance thinks to himself, shaking his head. _How in the hell are we drift compatible?_

“Do you think things would have been different if we’d passed the compatibility test when we were at the Garrison?”

Lance asks the question thinking that Keith will laugh at him. He doesn’t know what Keith thinks about their first drift simulation because 1) they’ve never talked about it and 2) he doesn’t even know that much about Keith at all because all they’ve ever done is snap at and argue with each other.

But, Keith nods slowly as he says, “Yeah. I think so.”

“How?”

“I think we’d at least know how to talk to each other. We’d—we might have been friends. If we were co-pilots, I guess, uh, yeah, we’d have been friends.”

Lance turns to look at him, “We can’t be friends now?”

“I don’t—Lance, I don’t _know._ That’s what I’m trying to ask.”

Keith is looking out over the Jaeger construction, ignoring Lance beside him, even though there’s a steady blush creeping up his neck and to his ears. Lance studies the expression on Keith’s face and decides that he’s never seen it before. He doesn’t know how to deal with Keith like this.

Yet.

Lance pushes forward, “So you’re asking me if we’re friends? Or if we can be friends now?”

“Lance—”

It sounds so much like an objection that Lance decides to take it as one. He shakes his head and says, “No, Keith. No. We’re not skirting around conversations. We’re not going to be co-pilots who use the drift as a way to tell each other what’s important and not talk to each other like regular people. Fuck that. You either talk to me right here, right now, or not at all. If we’re going to pilot together, then we’re sure as hell going to be on the same page.”

There’s a slight pause before Keith lets out a heavy sigh and flops backward, laying on his back on the balcony they’re seated on. Lance turns so he can see his face, where Keith is pressing his hands to his eyes. Something about the gesture seems oddly intimate, and Lance realizes that it’s because he’s never seen Keith like this before. Keith has always been angry, or at the very least, annoyed, when Lance has spoken with him. He’s never seen anything other than that side of him, and that’s what makes this entire conversation so fucking _weird._

“Goddamn, Lance, do you even know how much you sound like Shiro right now?” the reply that Lance gets is muffled behind Keith’s hands, but it’s enough for him to still hear it.

It confuses him enough to frown, “What?”

Keith lifts his hands from his face, “Shiro used to—when we were piloting Black Paladin, he’d make me do these check-ins with him. He’d ask me what was going on, and I’d have to tell him exactly what I was thinking right then. It was annoying as hell.”

Lance pauses. Honestly, the last thing that he had been trying to do was remind Keith of Shiro. He… he can’t imagine how much it must hurt to lose your co-pilot. He hadn’t meant to go down this road so soon.

Eventually, he clears his throat and says, “When Allura and I first started drifting together, we didn’t know how to talk to each other. We were friends during training and everything, but once we got into the drift, it was… too much. After our first few deployments, we had a lot of trouble when we weren’t drifting so we had to figure out how to compensate for the contact we had in our Jaeger. We started doing check-ins too, and it was honestly one of the only reasons we managed to pilot together for so long.”

Keith is looking up at him, dark eyes wide. He’s dropped his hands back down to his sides, but he’s not as tense as he was earlier. Lance isn’t sure if that means this is working or not.

“I always thought that you and Allura had just—connected so easily the first time you drifted,” Keith says, and even if he’s deflecting, at least they’re having a conversation with each other.

Lance shakes his head, propping his head on his knees as he watches Keith. He says, “No, we didn’t. We’d get into these weird passive aggressive fights with each other that later turned into screaming matches when we’d had enough. They’d always be about really stupid things too, which made it easier to laugh about later honestly.”

“Oh.”

Lance lets them sit in the silence for a few seconds before he says, “What else did you assume about me?”

The question makes Keith’s mouth turn down into a frown. He narrows his eyes as he gazes at Lance, but there’s a shred of guilt in his expression, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been.

Eventually, after Lance has given up on Keith replying, he clears his throat and asks, “You want me to be honest?”

“Keith, if this is going to work, you’ve got to be honest about everything from here out.”

Another pause, and then, “I think I hated you so much because of how you acted when we did the drift simulation at the Garrison.”

“Why?”

Keith sighs, exasperated, “I couldn’t figure you out. I thought—I mean, I’d seen you around and stuff, but I didn’t know who you were and then you started in on the rivalry bullshit—”

“Dude, we were in the same fucking classes for three _years_ ,” Lance frowns, throwing his hands up. “How did you not even know my name?”

“I didn’t know anyone’s name!” Keith exclaims. “I didn’t have any friends at the Garrison! No one ever even talked to me!”

“Because you were an asshole!” Lance cries, and absently, he knows that they’re falling right back into old patterns, but he can’t take this anymore. He’s been dying to know what went wrong with Keith from the very beginning and now that they’re finally talking about—he has to understand. “I tried talking to you when we were new students. I wanted to be your friend and you just—acted like you were too good for me! So I didn’t bother!”

Keith doesn’t reply for a few seconds, but then, he’s sitting up, leaning closer and asking, “You—what?”

“Keith,” Lance repeats, heart beating too loud in his chest, “I tried talking to you on one of our first days at the Garrison. You ignored me. I even tried again, a few days later, thinking that you’d had a bad day or whatever. I asked you to eat lunch with me and Hunk because you were sitting alone. You didn’t even answer me; you just got up and left. It was pretty clear that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Keith doesn’t reply. Instead, he stares at Lance, eyes locked onto his, jaw dropped open. There are emotions flickering through Keith’s eyes—he’s always been so expressive, even if it’s just to show Lance how much he hates him—and Lance can’t figure out what exactly this means.

Minutes pass in the tense silence. It’s so long that Lance even turns away from Keith and looks back over to the Jaeger construction. The engineering team is hauling pieces of the Jaeger’s hull up, welding the sections down while an electrical team works on wiring in the mainframe. While he watches, Lance almost gives up on Keith replying to him, thinking that this would be the last straw for them.

“Lance, I—fuck, I can’t even _remember_ that,” Keith says all at once, voice panicked. “I was—the first month at the Garrison was so horrible for me that I blocked most of it out. I can barely remember anything from the entire first year.”

The confession surprises Lance. He’s never—he doesn’t understand.

“What do you mean?” he asks. “Why?”

“I-I… It was a really bad time for me.”

The catch in Keith’s voice makes it clear to Lance that he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, that it’s something painful and sticky from his past. As much as Lance hates to ask about it, he’s afraid that they’ll never get past it if they don’t talk about it now.

“Why?” Lance repeats, softening his voice, hoping Keith won’t run from the question.

“Did you know that Shiro wasn’t my real brother?”

The question floors Lance, and it’s enough to distract him from the entire conversation because no, he hadn’t known that.

Keith must understand from his expression that Lance had no idea that was true because he nods and continues, “Yeah. He just—he found me on one of those recruitment trips to the public schools. I had been moved around so much from the foster homes, and I honestly didn’t give a fuck about piloting or anything. But for some reason, Shiro asked me to do the simulator and I did. After that, he kind of just… took an interest in me, I guess. He talked me into applying for the Garrison, and then the State signed me over to them, and I didn’t have to go back into foster care.”

Lance blinks at him, too surprised to even say anything at this point.

“And I didn’t really have anybody except Shiro,” Keith explains, voice quiet, reserved. “He was my mentor, and then somewhere, it kind of turned into more than that? He became more like my brother, like he was the only person that even remotely cared about me. The transition to the Garrison was hard for me. It wasn’t like the foster homes I had been in since my mom died, and I couldn’t get away from anyone, so I just—shut myself off from everyone. Well, except Shiro.”

At Keith’s explanation, Lance feels his anger deflate in his chest. He honestly hadn’t known anything about that. He had no idea about Keith’s mom, the foster homes, Shiro—he just didn’t know.

“The first year was rough,” Keith’s voice is raw, and Lance _feels_ it. “I couldn’t deal with all of the other people. I tried to run away three different times, and every time I tried, Shiro showed up at my barrack, like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He’d put my bag down and take me back to his room, and we’d watch movies all night and fall asleep on the couch. Then, the next morning, he’d wake me up with breakfast and say that he felt like he’d gotten a brother when he found me and that he was so glad I was there.”

Lance is blinking away tears by the end of Keith’s explanation, and his chest hurts for Keith.

“The only reason I even managed to make it through the first year was because of Shiro, and then, by the time I felt like I’d finally settled, everyone else had already paired off and… no one really talked to me.”

“Oh my god, Keith,” Lance’s response is rushed, breathy, knee-jerk in the way that you say _sorry_ to someone even if you’ve done nothing wrong, a full-automatic response to sorrow and grief because Lance is familiar with both and he _knows_ how it feels.

Keith shoots him a sharp look, “I’m not telling you any of this so you’ll feel sorry for me. I don’t need your pity.”

Lance leans away, burned by his reply. He says, “It’s not about pity, you jackass. I’m just trying to understand.”

Awkward pauses seem to be a staple of their conversations at this point, so Lance isn’t surprised when they fall into another one. Keith doesn’t say anything, and Lance doesn’t have any clue what to say now, so they sit in silence.

“I wanted to be friends with you.”

The sudden comment makes Lance jump, and he swings his head over to look at Keith.

“ _What?”_

Keith nods, avoiding his gaze, looking a shade too embarrassed. He says, “You heard me. I wanted to be friends with you when we were at the Garrison. I just… never said anything.”

Lance blinks, eyes wide, “Keith, _why?_ Things would have been so much easier! All you had to do was say hi to me!”

A deep blush makes its way up Keith’s neck and to his face, and honestly, it fascinates Lance. Other than the time they’ve spent talking right now, he’s never once seen Keith like this before. Hell, he didn’t even know that Keith could experience emotions other than annoyance, anger, and rage. It’s—honestly, it’s nice to see him acting like a normal person for once.

“You’ve probably noticed, but I’ve never been good with people,” Keith admits, and his voice is soft, low, like he’s saying something he’s never said aloud before. “I couldn’t figure out how to talk to you. And so then, when they told us we might be drift compatible, I thought that we could actually talk and be friends but…”

Lance feels his expression fall because _holy fuck,_ he had no idea that’s what Keith thought. He had—just always assumed that Keith knew who he was and didn’t give a fuck, that he didn’t want to be friends, that he thought he was better than Lance, that he didn’t want to be anywhere near him.

“Oh my god,” Lance repeats, bringing his hands up to his face. He can’t believe this. He doesn’t understand.

“Yeah,” Keith agrees, and he sounds _sad,_ “and when you did talk to me, it sounded like you hated me already. I wasn’t even surprised; I just went with it. I never said anything to you about it, which was probably stupid, but—it made sense, I guess.”

A horrible feeling washes over Lance, prompting him to ask, “What made sense?”

“That you—that you hated me.”

Tension fills the place of the awkwardness in their conversation. Lance doesn’t even know how to react.

Because honestly, he feels horrible. He’s hurt and confused and so, so, _so angry_ with all of this. He’s still angry with Keith because yeah, if Keith had just _talked to him_ , if Keith had just told Lance what he was thinking before they did the drift simulation at the Garrison, then maybe none of this would have ever happened. Maybe they could have been co-pilots then and maybe Shiro would still be alive—

Lance clamps the brakes down onto his thoughts, swerving to avoid them like he’s passing a car crash. He can’t ever think about that. He won’t do it.

“Fuck, Keith,” he breathes, not knowing what else to do, what else to say. “I didn’t—the only reason I acted like that was because I thought you already hated me. I always assumed that you thought you were better than me, and when you didn’t even know my name, that really… it really hurt me. I worked so hard to get into the Garrison, and I worked even harder to stay at the top of the class. It was like everything you did was effortless, like it was all natural talent on your end, like you didn’t even have to try, and I was fighting and struggling just to keep up with you.

“And then,” Lance continues, “you didn’t even seem to recognize me. It was—it was like everything I’d ever done at the Garrison was for nothing. It felt like nothing even mattered, which I know is ridiculous, but that’s exactly how I felt at the time. I had no idea that you wanted to be friends or anything. I didn’t even know that about Shiro or your past, or, or _anything_.”

There’s another long pause between them. Sometime during his explanation, Lance has moved closer to Keith, pushing the trays of food out of their way. Now, there’s barely a foot of space between them, and Keith is looking at him like—he doesn’t even know how to describe the expression on Keith’s face right now.

“What if we’d passed our drift compatibility test when we were eighteen?” Keith asks the question into the space between them, and honestly, they’re so in sync just sitting here together that Lance should have _known_ Keith was going to go down that road. Sometimes, like now, it’s so glaringly obvious that they’re drift compatible that it makes Lance want to roll his eyes.

“We wouldn’t have,” Lance says fiercely. “We’re drift compatible, and we’ve always been, even when we were eighteen, but we still failed that test. It wasn’t us; it was the simulator. Just like Coran said. Even if we were friends and got along with each other, hell, even if we were best friends that knew everything about each other, we still would have crashed and burned when we took that test.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Lance says, staring at Keith, silently pleading with him to understand. There’s nothing that they can do to bring Shiro back. Not now, not ever. “Nothing would have ever been any different. You still would have piloted Black Paladin with Shiro, and I still would have piloted Sunshine Riptide with Allura. We might have been friends, which honestly would have been nice, but everything would have happened the exact same way. You—Keith, you can’t think about what would have been.”

Keith nods seriously, “I know that. Fuck, I _know that._ I think about Shiro every fucking day. Every single morning when I wake up, I think about how he’s gone and how—how I can’t fucking change that. And now…”

“What?” Lance asks, soft.

Dark eyes meet his, and they’re so full of pain that Lance’s heart clenches in his chest. Keith’s voice shakes when he says, “And now I have to get into another Jaeger with you. I haven’t piloted since… since Shiro died. I felt everything he felt, Lance. It was—I was right there when he died. We were in the _drift_ and I was right there and there was nothing I could do and I just felt him slip away from me and he was gone.”

The two of them are nowhere near a working Jaeger or drift simulator and they’re not sparring or training with each other, but somehow, Lance can feel the bond moving, quivering between them. Tears pool in Lance’s eyes, and it’s like he can feel the pain in Keith’s chest, like it’s contagious and it’s crawling through the air between them and pushing its way down Lance’s throat to make sure he gets the message. Keith is _hurting._

Lance doesn’t know what else to do; he holds out his hands for Keith.

He isn’t sure what he had expected, but it feels like a mixture of surprise and relief when Keith turns toward him and puts one of his hands into Lance’s.

Keith’s hand is warm, and Lance carefully cradles it in his both of his hands. It’s the first time that they’ve ever touched each other when they weren’t in a fist fight. The contact is sending shivers down Lance’s spine, from both being skin-to-skin with Keith and the bond stretched tight between them.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve been through,” Lance starts out slowly, murmuring. He’s looking down at Keith’s hand, running his thumb over Keith’s palm, holding on to him tight enough that Keith knows he’s there. “I can’t even think about what that would feel like. And then having to get into another Jaeger with someone you hate… I can’t imagine that, Keith.”

“I don’t hate you,” the response is low, shaky, a little broken. But it’s there.

Lance looks up at Keith to find a set of dark eyes already on him. He doesn’t want Keith to lie. He says, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Keith looks like he’s struggling with his words, like he doesn’t know how to say what he means, how to make Lance understand. “I don’t hate you. I hated… the idea of you. I hated knowing that I’d have to get back into another Jaeger. I hated how I didn’t want to, how I was too weak to face my fears.”

“Keith,” Lance starts to object.

Keith bowls over him, eyes on fire, “I hated how I couldn’t seem to fucking talk to you without losing my mind. It was like my mouth wouldn’t cooperate with my head. I hated that we hated each other, Lance. I _couldn’t take it.”_

“Keith,” Lance repeats his name because that’s all he can think right now.

“I hate how much I don’t think I’ll be able to do this,” Keith continues, shaking his head. “I don’t—I get that you can’t trust me, not after all we’ve been through. I’m terrified that I’m going to get us killed when we get in a Jaeger together, that somehow you’ll end up getting hurt because of me.”

That statement is enough to shock Lance back into the moment. He grips Keith’s hand hard and reaches out with his other to grab Keith’s shoulder. He clutches at Keith’s shirt and says, “That’s not going to happen. Stop thinking that. The accident in Black Paladin wasn’t your fault. Shiro _dying_ wasn’t your fault. He would be the first one to tell you that, wouldn’t he?”

Keith nods once.

“Then listen to me,” Lance says, forcing Keith to meet his gaze. “It wasn’t your fault. You have to let go. I know it hurts, god, I can’t imagine it, but we’ve all lost people. We all have someone we’ve lost to this war, and we all have to get back up and keep trying. I need you. I can’t pilot this Jaeger by myself, and I can’t save the world on my own. I need you with me.”

In the few seconds that pass after his speech, Lance thinks he should be embarrassed by admitting how much he needs Keith’s help, but in the small space between them, where they’re holding hands and looking at each other like they’re everything either one of them will ever need, Lance can’t make himself feel sorry about anything. He does need Keith. It’s about time he acknowledged it.

Keith lets out a long sigh, bowing his head, tears dripping down his face. Lance takes the hand from his shoulder and swipes them away, and with it, he takes every last bad memory and feeling he’s ever associated with Keith and wipes it away too.

It feels like the beginning of something.

They sit in the small bubble they’re created for themselves for an indescribable amount of time. For right now, instead of feeling like two Jaeger pilots charged with saving the world, they’re just two people sitting together. They’re just two people who are finally on the same side. For once, they’re just Lance and Keith, existing in the same place at the same time.

It’s so nice it takes Lance’s breath away. He hadn’t understood how much he craved this before now.

Then, to break the silence between them, Keith looks up at him and asks, “Who did you lose?”

Lance doesn’t pretend to not know what he’s talking about. Instead, he smooths his hand back to Keith’s shoulder, straightening wrinkles that aren’t in his shirt. It’s been a long time, but his chest still aches when he says, “My dad and older sister. We were at my dad’s restaurant when the Kaiju attacked L.A. It was like it knew exactly where we were. We got cornered in an alley and… it took both of them away from me.”

“I remember,” Keith breathes, nodding and gripping Lance’s hand tight. “I’m sorry.”

Right, Keith has seen those memories before, back in their first drift simulation at the Garrison. It’s not a surprise that he knows what Lance is talking about, and honestly, it doesn’t hurt like he thought it would. Allura and Hunk are the only other people that he’s told and adding Keith in… it doesn’t sting like he expects it would have a day ago.

Because somehow, they’ve both become different people in the span of this conversation.

“It’s why I went to the Garrison,” Lance feels like he needs to explain, like this is going to somehow push him closer to Keith, and maybe it will. “At first, it was for revenge. I was so fucking _angry_ that it took them, and so I wanted to destroy every last Kaiju that came for us. But then… it kind of turned into me wanting to keep it from happening to other people. I don’t want anyone to lose anybody else to the Kaiju. I’m tired of us hurting because of them.”

Keith is quiet for a few seconds before he says, “I had never thought of piloting a Jaeger before Shiro got into his accident with the Garrison. He was a fighter pilot before, and when he crashed a jet, they told him he wouldn’t be able to fly again. By then, space exploration was out of the question when they started channeling money into the war. So, he got tested for drift ability, and when he passed, he told me that I should try, that maybe we could pilot together someday.

“It was just a way for me to be close with Shiro,” Keith continues, glancing up at Lance. “Even though—you’ve seen my memories. My mom was killed in a Kaiju attack in Tokyo when we were visiting the city. I was still young when it happened, but I guess that played a part in it too.”

They lapse into another quiet break. Lance’s heartbeat is finally starting to slow, and he feels stable, like everything is finally going to be alright.

“We have less than two weeks to figure out how to pilot together,” Keith says suddenly, breaking the silence between them. “Are you worried?”

“No,” Lance admits. He’s telling the truth; he’s not worried now. The only thing he’d been worried about was Keith. Now that they’ve talked, that they’ve finally managed to forge some sort of connection between them, drifting is going to be easy. “No, I’m not worried.”

“Why?”

Lance stares at Keith and says, “We’ve got the highest drift compatibility scores that the Pan Pacific Defense Corps has ever seen. There’s no way that we’re not going to kick ass in our Jaeger.”

Keith snorts, but there’s still something serious lurking in his expression.

“Really,” Lance nods reassuringly, squeezing his shoulder. “I was worried about bonding with you. I was worried about us not ever finding any common ground or a way to talk to each other. We’re both good pilots, Keith, but the stronger we are with each other, the stronger our Jaeger will be.”

Keith sighs, shoulders rolling in, “Jesus fucking Christ, you and Shiro would have been best friends. He’d say shit like that to me all the time.”

Lance smiles a little, “Does it help?”

“Yeah,” Keith looks up at him from under his lashes. “Yeah, it does.”

“Okay, duly noted,” he says, smiling a little more. Then, he lets his expression become serious again. There’s one more thing he needs to tell Keith. He continues, “And I just want to apologize. I’m sorry for everything—”

Before he can finish his apology, Keith jerks on his hand where their fingers are still intertwined, and Lance falls forward into Keith’s shoulder. It’s an uncomfortable position, but it makes Lance’s heart sing because _Keith is hugging me we’ve never been this close before oh my god—_

“I forgive you,” Keith says, voice gruff. His hands are on Lance’s back, and Lance quickly returns the hug, slipping his arms around Keith’s middle. “I’m sorry too, for everything. I can’t tell you how sorry I am—”

“You’re forgiven,” Lance says, squeezing Keith, propping his head on his shoulder. “No worries. We’re good.”

“Yeah?”

Lance smiles; he’s never heard Keith sound so relieved before. He nods and says, “Yeah. Of course.”

They separate eventually, and they turn back to watch the construction before them. There’s a different kind of tension between them now, something easy, fun, exciting. It reminds Lance of when he and Allura were training together, when they were so ready to trust each other and jump into the cockpit of a Jaeger together.

Except this time, with Keith—it’s a thousand times more intense.

Lance watches the construction in front of him. They’ve both turned to dangle their legs off the balcony, and Lance is leaning his chin on the railing. Their arms brush because they’re sitting so close to each other, and the silence is comfortable instead of awkward.

Naturally, Lance interrupts it.

“So, what are you thinking for a name?”

Keith bites his lip and glances over to him before he murmurs, “I like ‘renegade.’”

“Renegade?” Lance asks, raising an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected Keith to have an answer so quickly. He figured Keith hadn’t even thought about naming their Jaeger yet. “Like, traitor?”

“Kind of,” Keith admits, voice soft, “but more like changing sides?”

“Renegade is a lot like ‘rebel,’” Lance muses.

Keith nods, “Fitting for us, I think.”

Lance hums, nodding too. _Renegade_. That could work. It’d make for a badass Jaeger name if they could find a word to pair with it.

“What else do you have?” he asks, looking back over to Keith, who’s carefully watching the Jaeger construction in front of them.

Keith shrugs, “I thought you could pick the second one.”

Lance nods to himself, following Keith’s gaze to look at the new Jaegers. The one closest to them is going to be theirs; it’s a Mark IV and the design is pretty similar to that of both Black Paladin and Sunshine Riptide, at least, it is from what Lance has seen from Hunk’s design plans. The outer hull isn’t finished yet, but the inside wiring is coming along, and the engineering teams are sliding the first pieces of the outside shell of armor into place on the Jaeger’s legs and arms already.

He finds himself thinking about Sunshine Riptide. She’d been ripped to pieces to get the dual nuclear reactors out of her chest so they could power the new Jaegers. It’s still sad, and it still makes his chest hurt a little, just thinking about it. He wishes there was a way—

He pauses, sneaks a careful look over to Keith, and whispers, “What about ‘dawn?’”

Keith turns, meets his gaze. He watches him for a few seconds before he blinks and says, “Renegade Dawn.”

Hearing Keith’s voice around the syllables of the name does stupid things to Lance’s chest.

A long moment passes between them, and they continue to stare at each other. Unblinking, not looking away. Lance watches Keith’s eyes, looks at the emotions swimming in it, sees his own reflection staring right back at him.

“Renegade Dawn,” Keith repeats finally, one side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. He continues, “That’s fucking perfect.”

Lance feels himself smile, and for the first time since they got to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, he finally feels right back at home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are not the same people they were when they were eighteen. 
> 
> Lance doesn’t hesitate when he and Keith step over the threshold and into the cockpit of Renegade Dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! Sorry I'm a day late, grad school is kicking my ass right now, so I might not update again until the weekend. BUT, this chapter is twice as long as the others so hopefully it'll hold you over until then. Thanks for all the great comments and kudos and everything, and please keep leaving them! 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative
> 
> stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

The weirdest thing about all of this is how easily he and Keith fall into being co-pilots.

After their conversation, things have been so easy and simple between them that sometimes, it’s hard for Lance to breathe when he thinks about it. He still can’t believe that everything is working for them now, that Keith has apologized, that he’s accepted Lance’s apology too. It makes him wonder what could have happened when they were eighteen, if Keith hadn’t been so caught up in his own world and if Lance hadn’t been so terrified of connecting with him.

It doesn’t do any good to wonder about it now, but Lance still finds himself thinking about it, mostly at night, after Keith has spent all day at his side, training with him, talking with him, looking at him.

Fuck, Lance has forgotten what it feels like to have a connection like this with someone. Everything with Allura had always been so… ordinary. It had happened just like they were trained, just like the instructors, books, and manuals explained. They drifted together, trained together, ate together, hell, they even slept together more than a few times. The bond between Lance and Allura had been completely familiar. To Lance, it’d felt like cuddling a blanket that had just come out of the dryer, like sitting in front of a fire with a favorite book, like being at home with his family.

But with Keith—things are different.

The bond between them is nothing like his bond with Allura. Most of the time, it feels like it’s eating Lance alive. The closer Keith stands, the more he grabs his hand to pull him up off the ground during training, and the way he smiles at him is all too much. It’s like a continuous fire, blazing, hot, overwhelming. It’s like being caught up in a lightning storm, knowing you could be electrocuted at any second but still being too awed to move to safety.

Lance doesn’t know how else to describe it.

And since their conversation, Keith has been... so different from everything Lance has ever known. Every morning since, Lance will open his door to go down to the cafeteria before training, and Keith will be there, casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, waiting. The right side of his mouth will turn up into a half-smile, and he’ll push off the wall, falling into step at Lance’s side. By this point, Lance will be filling the silence between them with easy chatter, and Keith will hum in agreement as they make their way to the cafeteria for breakfast.

They sit at the table with Hunk, Allura, and Pidge. The first day had been a little awkward, but it seems like everyone has adjusted well. Allura had looked over to Keith where he was sitting on Lance’s other side, and after staring at each other for a moment, they seemed to come to some sort of silent agreement. It’s enough for right now, Lance guesses; at least they’re not fighting. Later, assuming they all get through this unscathed, he might have to force them to have a conversation, but for now, this will work.

Training gets better and better. Lance and Keith are able to work with each other, spar with each other, and even meditate with each other. They get to train alongside Pidge and Allura, who are also doing well, and for once, everything seems like it’s working out.

Coran joins them on the training deck about a week later. Lance hasn’t seen much of him around the Shatterdome lately, but they’re ticking down to a big deadline. Lance isn’t surprised that he’s been off planning and strategizing in every spare second.

“Rangers!” he calls excitedly, hands clasped behind his back as he walks onto the training deck. The four of them have been sparring with each other on teams, Lance and Keith versus Pidge and Allura. In all his time as a cadet and pilot, Lance can’t ever remember having this much fun during training.

“Hey, Coran,” Lance says easily, breaking off their sparring match.

“Hello, Lance,” Coran replies, smiling. “It’s great to see you all training together.”

Keith mutters something under his breath, and even though Lance doesn’t catch it, he throws an elbow into Keith’s side where they’re standing next to each other, deliriously happy.

“Do you have any updates on the Jaegers?” Pidge asks, nearly jumping up and down. Lance finds himself grinning along with her because the excitement is contagious. He’s ready too.

“Construction is coming along just fine!” Coran nods. “I was just visiting Mechanical Engineering and Hunk, and he agrees that the Jaegers will be ready by the end of the week, which is when we will continue with a drift simulation. For now, the four of you will need to agree on the design and names of the Jaegers.”

“We’ve got ours,” Keith says.

Allura looks over to Lance in surprise, eyes wide, “You do?”

“Just because you and Pidge can’t agree on a name doesn’t mean that Keith and I can’t,” Lance teases, rolling his eyes and hoping his face isn’t too red. He can’t remember the last time that he forgot to tell Allura something this important. Oops. 

“Tell us what it is!” Pidge grips Lance’s arm, eyes wide as she looks up at him.

“What, so you can steal it?” Lance frowns. “No way. Get your own Jaeger name.”

Keith snorts, raising an eyebrow to look at Lance, and Lance can’t help but grin back.

Allura rolls her eyes too and nudges Pidge, “You said there was no way they could agree on a name before us.”

“I underestimated their capability to have a real conversation and be adults,” Pidge admits easily, shrugging. “Besides, I’ve suggested a great name already.”

“We are not naming our Jaeger _Meklavar!”_ Allura shrieks, clenching her hands into fists.

Lance bursts out laughing, stumbling into Keith, who catches him easily and sets him back upright. Keith is still smiling a little too, the expression small, careful.

“I’m relieved to see you all working together so well,” Coran interrupts, smiling. Then, his expression turns serious, “The mission that we are going to attempt will take everything we have. I can only hope that we’ve prepared you enough when the time comes.”

The atmosphere shifts to match Coran’s tone. In their training, Lance hasn’t let himself forget about the mission they have, the fact that they’re the only thing standing between survival and the end of the world, but it’s been harder to remember how serious it is when he and Keith are just now starting to work so well together.

He thinks it’s been the same way for Pidge and Allura. There’s a reason that Jaeger pilots are allowed to train and drift with their co-pilot long before they get deployed on an actual mission; a new connection between co-pilots is disorienting and overwhelming. The drift simulation at the end of the week will undoubtedly be harder than anything they’ve done before.

“I’ve got to head back up to Engineering for another meeting,” Coran says into the silence between them, “but I just wanted to express my gratitude for you four. I can’t imagine the stress it’s put on you, but you and our other three Jaegers are the only thing left that can save the world from the Kaiju. Remember that as you train.”

They all nod and bid Coran goodbye, who leaves the training deck without another word.

The four of them keep training for a few hours, albeit a little more seriously than before. They break into different teams and spar together before going back to their real co-pilots to meditate for a while. By the time they’re getting ready to take a break for lunch, they’ve made a lot of good progress, and Lance isn’t feeling as helpless as he probably should be. For all of Coran’s boasting about the new plan he has, Lance is afraid that something will go terribly wrong when the time comes.

But for now, all he can do is train with Keith and try to get ready to pilot with him.

“Lance?” it’s Allura’s voice that interrupts his thoughts. He turns and sees her standing a few feet away, expression clouded with doubt. Her gaze flicks over to Keith, who’s already glancing back and forth between them, eyes almost unreadable.

“Can we talk for a second?” Allura finally asks, and the serious mood shifts into something awkward.

Lance nods, “Sure.”

When he turns to look, Keith blinks and ducks his head, like he’s embarrassed.

From Allura’s other side, Pidge clears her throat and says, “C’mon, Keith, I’m starving. We’ll meet you guys up there in a bit.”

Lance nods to Keith, hoping that this won’t come in between them again. Then, Pidge and Keith file out of the training deck, leaving him and Allura alone together for the first time in… okay, it’s been _days._

Suddenly, Lance realizes how weird this all feels. He’s never been this distant from Allura. He’s spent the last seven years of his life basically living inside her head with her, and now, it’s like they’re strangers. Lance forgets that he hasn’t even really had a conversation with her since everything with Keith…

God, he feels _horrible._

“Hi,” she offers weakly, and that makes Lance’s chest hurt more.

He opens his arms and steps forward, and she meets him in the middle, crashing into his chest and winding her arms around his shoulders to hold on tight. She’s warm and feels achingly familiar in his arms. Lance ducks his head into her neck and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Hey,” he breathes a few minutes later when he feels like he can speak again, “miss you.”

She laughs a little, but it sounds off, “No you don’t. All you can see right now is Keith.”

Lance feels himself blush, and he’s thankful that they’re still hugging and she can’t see how red his face feels right now. He says, “Not true.”

She reaches up and pinches his arm, which makes him squawk in protest. Then, he huffs and admits, “Maybe it’s a little true.”

Allura pulls back from the hug and grips his forearms, staying pressed close to him. Her expression is serious, but her eyes are warm and her voice is soft when she says, “Lance, I am… so happy for you.”

Lance snorts without meaning to. “You don’t have to say that.”

She pinches him again, then soothes it away by brushing her fingers over his skin. She nods and says, “Yes, I do. I am. I’m so happy that this is working, that Keith is finally worthy of being your co-pilot.”

“Me too,” he agrees. “Everything with him is so different. It’s hard to get used to it.”

Allura nods, “I know what you mean. Pidge is… I’ve never had a sister before, but I imagine this is what it’s like. She’s very different from you. It’s… nice. I think I like it.”

“That’s great,” Lance brushes a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She has it up in a bun today; maybe at lunch he’ll ask if he can braid it for her.

She nods, “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean?”

“About Keith,” she clarifies. “Is it like it was before?”

Lance stays quiet for a few seconds. He thinks about the way that his heart starts beating faster when Keith looks at him. He thinks about how it feels when Keith helps him up after training, when their hands are touching. He thinks about Keith waiting for him every morning outside his door, how it feels to see him standing there, ready to listen and talk to Lance on their way to the cafeteria.

“I think it’s worse now that we’re actually…” Lance admits, looking away. “I don’t really know what we are, but yeah, I think it’s a lot worse than it was before.”

She’s smiling when he turns back to look at her, and she takes one of her hands and runs it through his hair, brushing it off his forehead. She says, “You should see the way he looks at you sometimes.”

He feels himself flush at the thought of that because—no, nope, no way, he’s not even going there right now.

“Stop,” he laughs a little, face red. “Did you just want to gossip or did you need something?”

She sobers, runs her hand back down to his arm, and says, “I just needed to talk to you. I don’t know—it’s weird, isn’t it? Now that I’ve been training with Pidge, I can’t seem to feel the pull between us anymore. It… scared me at first.”

“I know what you mean,” he nods, gripping her arms too. “Everything with Keith feels like it’s so much more than—I don’t know, I can’t explain it. It’s like I feel everything more, and now that it’s there…”

“There’s no more room for anything else,” she finishes for him, nodding along, like she’s on the exact same page with him, like they’re back to being co-pilots in Sunshine Riptide again.

They fall into silence for a few long seconds. Eventually, Lance breaks it with, “Allura, you know I’ll always miss you, right?”

Her smile is slow and bright and beautiful, and she leans into him, pressing her forehead to his and breathing. Her hands slide up to his chest, and she replies, “I’ll always miss you too, Lance.”

They cling to each other for another long moment, and when Allura pulls back, she’s still smiling. Lance can’t help his own grin, so he offers her his hand and asks, “Can I braid your hair after lunch?”

She laughs and agrees, and hand in hand, they walk toward the cafeteria, where Keith and Pidge are waiting on them.

;;

When Lance and Allura arrive at their table in the cafeteria, Lance finding his spot next to Keith and Allura hers next to Pidge, Pidge and Hunk are in a heated debate about the best weapon systems to fight the Kaiju. Lane can see Keith’s shoulders shaking with laughter while they argue. 

Keith turns to him immediately when Lance settles next to him. His expression is neutral, hard to read, but his eyes seem calm. His voice is low when he asks, “Everything okay?”

Lance can’t stop the grin that overtakes his face. He nods and says, “All good here. You?”

Keith nods once before turning back to his lunch, tension melting out of his shoulders.

“Lance,” Hunk interrupts desperately, still glaring at Pidge. “Don’t you think the plasmacanons are better for most Jaegers? Sunshine Riptide had those!”

“Black Paladin had close-range mechanical weaponry,” Pidge fires back, “which is obviously better for fighting Kaiju up close.”

Hunk shrieks then, and Lance finds himself doubling over in laughter, glancing up at Keith, who is smiling, and over to Allura, who’s covering her mouth to keep from laughing so hard.

The rest of lunch is amusing and fun. About halfway through the meal, Hunk sighs and seems to conclude that he and Pidge will never settle their argument. He excuses himself, explaining that he needs to oversee the work on their Jaegers. Lance nods to him, and the conversation turns to Pidge and Allura’s Jaeger name where they’ve apparently made no significant progress. More than once, Lance finds himself looking over to Keith and thinking of their own Jaeger’s name and the conversation they’d had to get it.

Renegade Dawn. Even now, just thinking about it, Lance fights back a shiver. 

A few minutes later, the war alarms begin.

For half a second, everyone in the cafeteria freezes, and then, over the continuous alarm, Coran’s voice booms through the speakers: “Omega Shield and Razor Edge Rangers, report to your docking bays for deployment.”

Lance looks to Keith. His eyes are narrowed, expression serious. He jerks his head once, and Lance knows what he means without him having to say it aloud. Everyone around them in the cafeteria is already rushing to their stations, preparing for the attack and Jaeger deployment.

“C’mon,” Lance says, the first to stand up of their group, “let’s get to Central Command. We won’t be able to help, but at least we’ll be there to see what’s going on.”

Pidge, Allura, and Keith all nod, and they stand, rushing through the crowds and racing up to the command center where Coran and the rest of the superior officers will be preparing for the deployment. It’s also where Hunk will be monitoring the Jaegers and the Kaiju activity. Even though the four of them are essentially useless without Jaegers, at least they can be in the same room. Rolo and Nyma, Crystal Venom’s pilots, catch up to them on their way out of the cafeteria and follow them to Central Command. Even though they weren’t offered a deployment this time, it’s good practice to remain close to their Jaeger just in case they’re called in for backup.

The six of them run toward the stairs, and Keith falls into step at his side, keeping up with him and matching his strides perfectly. They take the stairs two at a time, running up four flights before getting to the top level where Central Command is located.

The guards that are posted outside the room let them in without question. Inside, it’s flooded with a frantic and serious atmosphere, and Lance spots Coran standing at the front of the room, up close by the large windows that look out over the Shatterdome’s main bay where the Jaegers are held. Now, there are people rolling the large, metal doors open, sunshine filtering inside, while two of the three working Jaegers they have, Omega Shield and Razor Edge, are powered up.

Hunk sits at the front of the room too at a computer station with several monitors. A few of the screens have different maps on them, tracking the Kaiju activity.

“Marshall,” Allura greets seriously, stepping up to the front so they’ll be out of the way of the rest of the crew working behind them. “What’s happening?”

“A category 4 Kaiju has been located at the breach,” Coran explains, voice somber. “It’s headed here to Hong Kong. We will deploy Omega Shield and Razor Edge to deal with it before it destroys the entire city.”

Lance bites his lip and exchanges another glance with Keith.

“Category 4 Kaiju, codename Otachi, fast approaching Hong Kong,” Hunk calls, aggressively typing at his station. “Pilots engaged, commencing neural connection in ten seconds.”

The rest of the staff in Central Command scramble as they attempt to launch the Jaegers. As a pilot, it’s rare to be in this situation. There have only been a handful of times where he’s been at the same Shatterdome where Jaegers were being deployed that weren’t him and Allura. Now, it feels weird. Knowing that there’s nothing they can do to help, knowing that he can’t be out in a Jaeger fighting the Kaiju, it’s horrible.

“Omega Shield, Razor Edge,” Coran addresses the Jaegers and their pilots as they are rolling out of the Shatterdome and dropping down to the ocean below. “You are to intercept Otachi before landfall. Do not let it break through that wall.”

Lance exchanges a quick look with Allura, who’s standing at his side. He remembers their last deployment in Sunshine Riptide, when the Kaiju had ripped through the Wall of Life like it was nothing. He doesn’t doubt that this Kaiju will do the same thing if they don’t stop it.

Hunk and the rest of his team of engineers monitor the Kaiju movement and the Jaeger progression on the deployment. The pilots’ communication systems are linked with Central Command, so they can have live updates while they’re in the Jaegers, and even though the chatter is limited, it’s still strange to see this from the other side. Lance is used to being inside the Jaeger on the deployment, not behind the scenes in the Shatterdome.

“Omega Shield has visuals on Otachi,” Ranger Griffin says from Omega Shield’s cockpit.

“Confirmed, engaging battle,” Rizavi agrees from Razor Shield. 

“Wait!” Hunk says, and the hologram of the breach in front of the computers grows again, the computer AI humming a warning. “We’ve detected another Kaiju! Prepare for a double event!”’

Lance bites his lip. Logically, he knows that the pilots in the Jaegers have faced dozens of other Kaiju. He’s seen Griffin and Kinkade take down plenty of Kaiju in their Jaeger, and Rizavi and Leifsdottir are amazing pilots. Even so, it still makes him nervous, this standing and waiting. He’d rather be in the Jaegers with the other Rangers, fighting to help them defend the city.

The helicopters that the Shatterdome has deployed finally connect a visual feed, and just as the screens turn on for them to see Omega Shield and Razor Edge standing in the ocean, the ocean explodes and Otachi erupts from the water.

It’s big, bigger than what a normal Category 4 Kaiju should be. It’s always been difficult for Lance to judge the size of a Kaiju unless he’s looking at it through his Jaeger, but he finds himself wondering if the computer system has misjudged this one.

Otachi connects with Omega Shield first, and then the battle begins. Central Command becomes a flurry of activity, with the pilots’ voices yelling over the communication lines. The battle is hard to watch on the choppy feed from the helicopters, and Lance feels dizzy trying to keep up with it from here.

Griffin and Kinkade pilot Omega Shield smoothly, jumping in and out of the battle with Otachi at the drop of a hat, pulling back to catch defense or pressing forward go on the offense. Behind them, Rizavi and Leifsdottir perform more targeted attacks on Otachi, using Razor Edge’s chest canon to launch direct attacks on the Kaiju’s back.

“Let’s pull out the big guns,” Griffin says, voice rough as it comes in through the communication lines. “Kinkade, ready the flame throwers. Razor Shield, you might wanna back up.”

Rizavi scoffs, but they double back, and when Otachi throws itself forward again, Griffin and Kinkade activate the flame throwers that line Omega Shield’s arm. The resounding roar from the Kaiju seems to rattle the windows all the way back to Central Command.

For a few seconds, Lance thinks this might work. Omega Shield manages to hold onto Otachi as the Kaiju roars again. But then—

“Second Kaiju, codename Thornback, approaching quickly,” and just as Hunk gets the words out as a warning, the second Kaiju explodes from the water and launches itself at Razor Edge, roaring and clamping its jaws down onto the Jaeger’s arm.

Rizavi and Leifsdottir try to move back, scrambling, but before they can get any space between them and the Kaiju, it rips the Jaeger’s head off in one motion.

There’s not even time for the pilots to scream—that’s how quick it is.

Lance feels like he’s going to be sick. He reaches out and grabs Keith’s wrist, clutching it in his hand, trying to find some sense of balance because…

Jaegers get destroyed. Pilots die. Sometimes it takes multiple Jaegers to take down the Kaiju, and sometimes pilots are just unlucky. There’s nothing different that they can do, there’s nothing that will save them, nothing that can change the mind of the universe after it’s already been made up. Lance has even seen it. He’s seen Jaegers go down in fights. Hell, he and Allura had a lot of close calls in Sunshine Riptide. As a pilot, he knows what this job is. He knows how dangerous it is and what it means.

But it still doesn’t lessen the blow. He knew Rizavi and Leifsdottir. They were great pilots, and they had successfully defended plenty of cities from Kaiju before and now—they’re gone.

“Razor Edge down!” Kinkade shouts now, backing off from the two Kaiju that are circling them. “We need backup!”

There’s a scary second where Coran clasps his hands behind his back and remains silent, and Lance wonders what the hell he’s thinking. There’s only one other option.

Then, thankfully, he turns back to Rolo and Nyma and says, “Deploy Crystal Venom.”

Lance makes eye contact with Rolo as he turns to follow Nyma out of Central Command. This is the worst type of deployment to get, Lance thinks. He wishes they could take it instead. He wishes—

“Rangers,” Coran calls, and the buzz in the room stops. Above him, on the screens, Omega Shield is barely holding off the attacks from both Kaiju, desperately firing their signature flame throwers every time one of the Kaiju gets closer. “You are one of the last hopes we have.”

Rolo and Nyma nod, and they sprint out of the room toward their docking bay.

“Prepping Crystal Venom for deployment,” Hunk says, frowning. “Sir, the Kaiju are moving toward the city.”

“Omega Shield,” Coran calls, opening up the communication line. “Please be advised, Crystal Venom is in root for backup. The Kaiju are moving toward the city. Fall back and wait for assistance. Do not engage. Wait for backup.”

“Wait, Otachi approaching Omega Shield,” Hunk says, then turns to frown in Coran’s direction. “Marshall, Thornback is heading for the city. We’ve warned them, but city officials say that most of the population hasn’t made it to the underground bunkers yet.”

While Hunk explains, Crystal Venom rolls out of the Shatterdome and deployed. It’s quick, and they’re lucky that they had been as prepared as they are. Lance has been in Shatterdomes where the response time is way longer, and lives are often lost because of it. Here, in this job, just a few minutes can mean thousands of lives.

“Crystal Venom moving in for backup,” Rolo’s voice is as calm as ever, and the helicopters on screen show Omega Shield and the Kaiju that’s currently circling them.

It roars at the Jaeger, and even though they’re getting the footage from miles away, Lance feels it in his stomach. He’s always hated that sound. It makes his gut churn, reminds him of another day, like this one, when he was standing right in front of a Kaiju, when he saw his dad and sister—

“Lance.”

Keith’s voice is low enough that no one else can hear him, and Lance realizes that he’s squeezing Keith’s wrist so hard it might bruise. He loosens his grip, starts to let go, but then Keith shakes his head. His eyes are burning, and it’s like he’s on the exact same page with Lance now, like he wants nothing more than to be out in their Jaeger already, fighting, but like he’s still scared as hell about it at the same time.

God, how had Lance not realized that it would be like this with him?

“I’m okay,” Lance murmurs it, keeps his voice under his breath. He hates being in here, hates having to watch this and do nothing, but there’s not another option because even if their Jaeger was ready, even if Renegade Dawn was finished, there’s no way that they would be able to pilot together when they haven’t even finished training or completed a drift trial.

Keith stares back at him for a few long seconds, dark gaze mirroring everything that Lance feels before he turns back to look at the screen. Lance makes himself do the same.

Back on the screen, where Omega Shield is trying to move out of range of the Kaiju, there’s another loud roar before the monster launches itself out of the water and directly toward the Jaeger.

Griffin and Kinkade shout together, “Flame throwers, now!”

“No!” Coran shouts, losing his composure for the first time since the fight started. “Omega Shield, do not engage! Wait for assistance! Do not engage!”

The pilots don’t listen; instead, they move in close. Omega Shield steps right into the Kaiju’s path and swings its fist up, connecting with its face and firing the flame throwers from its arms. The action is enough to stun Otachi for a few seconds as it collapses into the water and disappears.

“Pull back!” Coran is still shouting, and then, finally, they can see Crystal Venom in the shot from the helicopters, getting dropped by another transport team. “Disengage!”

“We’re almost in position,” Rolo says over the communication line. “Command, who’s got eyes on this bastard?”

“Omega Shield got in a good hit to the Kaiju,” Hunk replies, fingers typing quickly at the keyboard where he’s sitting. “But it wasn’t enough damage to—"

Before Hunk can finish and before Crystal Venom can get moved into position opposite of Omega Shield, the Kaiju explodes from the water behind them and clamps its arms around the Jaeger’s middle and crushing the hull.

Griffin and Kinkade shout in alarm, and the rest of Central Command scrambles with the attack.

“Launch missiles!” Nyma yells from the cockpit, and Crystal Venom launches the Kaiju killing missiles directly toward Otachi where it strikes the Kaiju and roars in agony.

It releases Omega Shield and turns its attention to Crystal Venom, and the fight turns dirty. The Kaiju moves in closer before Rolo and Nyma can load another set of missiles. They go on the offense and grapple with the Kaiju, kicking, punching, throwing, and watching it, Lance managed to think that it looks just like one of the exaggerated animated fights that some of the popular TV shows produce and air.

“Omega Shield,” Coran orders over the chaos, “report your status.”

There’s a long moment of silence before Griffin clears his throat and says, “Our fuel reactors are leaking hydrogen, and we’ve got a fire in the lower left engine. Powering up flame throwers now.”

Lance feels his heart stop. They’re going to—

“No,” Coran whispers the word, but a sudden silence has taken over the command center so they all hear it.

“Sorry, Marshall,” Kinkade pants. Even from here, it sounds like they’re injured, and with the fight they’ve been in, Lance wouldn’t doubt it. “We’re going in. Crystal Venom, we’re going to need some room to take care of this.”

There’s a slight pause before Rolo says, “You’ve got it.”

Lance watches the screen in horror. Omega Shield’s arms spark as the flame throwers ignite, and they charge forward, cutting through the ocean at a dangerous speed. Crystal Venom shoves the Kaiju forward to meet them and dives out of the way.

“Let’s finish this son of a bitch,” Griffin says, voice calm, collected.

Omega Shield leaps out of the water, slamming into Otachi, and the flame throwers finally catch fire.

Over the video feed, a bright flash of white light engulfs them before both the Jaeger and Kaiju go up in an explosion so powerful it rattles the glass all the way back in Central Command at the Shatterdome.

A war cry from the pilots is the last thing they hear through the communication line before the explosion.

When the smoke settles over the ocean, nothing remains. Lance feels sick.

“Kaiju dead,” Hunk confirms a few moments later dryly. He’s seen a lot of pilots go down over the years he’s worked on the Jaegers, and Lance knows it’s never easy. “Crystal Venom, be advised, Thornback is already through the Wall of Life. All of the citizens have made it underground, so it’s safe to engage.”

“Copy,” Nyma says, voice dull. “Let’s end this.”

The rest of the fight is a blur that Lance struggles to keep up with, reeling from watching two successful Jaegers go down. Crystal Venom tracks Thornback to the Wall and catches it before the city is destroyed. After a long fight on the coast, Kaiju collapses into a pile of dead, mangled Kaiju corpse.

Rolo’s voice is hard to hear through the communication line, but Lance manages to catch it when he says, “Mission accomplished, Marshall, but we’ve got some serious structural damage here. Might need an assist getting back home.”

Coran’s shoulders are tight with tension, but he nods and deploys a transport unit to go out and retrieve the Jaeger.

Nyma’s voice sounds pained when she speaks, “And we’ve got a completely dead right arm. Maybe even some electrical issues, trying to determine where the problem is now.”

“Just get back to the Shatterdome,” Coran orders. “Good work, Rangers.”

Central Command is near silent as the communication line goes dead. From here, a team will go after Crystal Venom and bring them back home, where the engineers will immediately start the repairs. After Nyma and Rolo check in with the infirmary to deal with their wounds, they’ll be put on bed rest and grounded (unable to drift in their Jaeger) until their Jaeger is up and running again.

And the war clock will be reset to zero.

Coran is standing at the windows that overlook the Shatterdome’s bay, arms clasped behind his back. His posture is rigid, exposing the tension in his shoulders. When Lance glances over to Hunk’s station, Hunk is much the same, jaw clenched, expression serious as he meets Lance’s gaze.

“Crystal Venom needs repairs starting immediately,” Coran’s voice matches the somber mood in the room. “Without Razor Edge and Omega Shield, we only have three Jaegers left. Hunk, we need to speed up the construction on the new Jaegers. We need to be working around the clock to get them finished before another attack. Can it be done?”

Hunk nods, “I can do it.”

Coran finally turns back to look at him, Keith, Allura and Pidge. It’s the first time that he’s glanced their way since the fight started. He says, “You will need to be ready. As soon as the Jaegers are completed, we will put you in them, training finished or not. There’s no time left. This is war. We are the only thing preventing the end of the world.

“Get some rest,” he continues, nodding in farewell. “We’ll all need you as prepared as possible.”

It’s a clear dismissal, and as they walk out of the command center, Lance is aware that all eyes are on them. In that moment, he feels like they think the four of them will be the saviors of the world, like they’re the last hope. It’s true, but it makes Lance’s stomach hurt even more than before.

The door closes behind them, and they hesitate out in the hallway, alone, lost, just four people in the middle of a war charged with saving the entire world.

Lance feels a hand on his shoulder, and he turns to meet Keith’s gaze.

“Hey,” Keith says, and his voice makes the bond between them quiver. It’s ridiculous how easily he responds to Keith. “You’re thinking too much.”

“I’m not,” he objects halfheartedly.

Keith catches his bluff, just like he expects. He nods and says, “You are. Stop worrying. We’ve got this.”

“How do you know?”

“Because we’re here right now. I never thought we’d even be able to stand in the same room with each other without fighting,” Keith’s eyes are wide, honest, burning, and Lance can’t believe he’s saying this in front of Pidge and Allura. He continues, “You and I… Renegade Dawn is going to be unstoppable with us piloting. We’ve got to be.”

In the pause that overtakes them, Lance nods and reaches for Keith’s wrist again, just to have something to hold on to. It’s weird how easy it is with Keith, how much he grounds Lance by just being here and standing next to him.

Pidge speaks up next, voice quiet, shy, “Renegade Dawn?”

Lance smiles at Keith before he turns to look at them. Allura smiles a little now, eyes twinkling, and he nods as he says, “Yeah, pretty cool, huh?”

Keith breathes a laugh then, and the sound makes Lance’s smile soften.

“Now if we could only decide on a name,” Allura nudges Pidge.

She ducks her head, glasses glinting in the fluorescent lights in the hallway, “I was thinking about that… Um, do you know anything about Greek mythology?”

Allura blinks, “Of course.”

“Well, Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and warfare, had another name,” Pidge clears her throat and looks up to Allura. “What do you think about ‘Pallas?’”

There’s a slight pause from Allura before she nods, “I like that. Pallas. Hmm…”

Lance exchanges a look with Keith, and Keith’s expression has gone soft, all bright eyes and a small smile. Lance is still holding on to his wrist, and Keith has his hand on Lance’s shoulder still. Absently, Lance wonders if Keith feels the same sort of comforting and grounding sensation when they’re touching.

“In light of what has happened tonight,” Allura speaks up, “I feel like we may benefit from a reminder of what the Jaegers stand for. So, how do you feel about ‘victory?’”

“Victory Pallas,” Pidge says the name, and it makes Lance think back to when he and Allura named Sunshine Riptide, to when he and Keith chose Renegade Dawn. He finds himself grinning when Pidge nods excitedly and says, “That’s _awesome!”_

“Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas,” Lance says, reaching out to fist bump them. Keith squeezes his shoulder where he’s still gripping it. “I guess it’s up to us now.”

;;

Three days later, at 0800 hours, Lance finds himself standing in front of a mirror in his new drivesuit. It’s dark navy, so dark that it’s hard to tell if it’s actually black or not, with red highlights at his shoulders, elbows, hips, and knees. The helmet has a shield that’s red too, and honestly, he thinks it looks more than a little badass.

Allura sets a hand on Lance’s shoulder, staring at his new armor in the mirror with him. He looks up to her face, expecting to see dread, fear, anger, _something._ Instead, all he can see is pride. In him.

“You look good,” she says softly.

He nods and then, “Is it okay to be scared?”

She gets what he means without him needing to say anything else, which is just—another blow to his heart. He doesn’t know how she did it, how she drifted with someone else. Lance is terrified of it. Even with all the progress he’s made with Keith, even knowing that he’s already technically drifted with Keith once before, he’s still scared. Baring his soul to another person—Keith doesn’t know him like Allura does, but he’s about to.

Allura nods gently, reaching down to grasp his hand. She says, “I was terrified. You were the only person I had ever drifted with before and just thinking about sharing it with someone else was awful. But—it got easier. It’s easier now. You and I… we’ll always be drift compatible, Lance. Always.”

Somehow, it’s exactly what Lance needed to hear. He feels something inside him shift at that moment. Just knowing that he has Allura’s permission, Allura’s blessing for this situation makes it so much easier. He doesn’t need her to tell him that this is okay, but it does make it a hell of a lot easier.

“What if it’s just as bad as it was when we tried before?” Lance lets himself ask the question he’s been worrying about since Coran told them about the new plans, about him and Keith being drift compatible and piloting a new Jaeger together. 

“It won’t be.”

“What if it is?”

Allura grips both of his shoulders and turns him away from the mirror to face her. She’s wearing one of her most determined looks, the expression she wears when they’re racing toward a Kaiju and charging up the plasmacasters in Sunshine Riptide. For some reason, it makes Lance feel a little bit better.

“Listen to me, Lance,” she says fiercely. “You and Keith are drift compatible with the strongest capability that the Jaeger program has _ever_ seen. You are going to be the strongest Jaeger pilots in the _world._ ”

Lance takes a breath. Allura is right.

She continues, “Keith is different from when you were both eighteen. _You_ are different as well. He will not let you down again. The drift will be strong today; I can feel it.” She leans up to press a kiss to Lance’s forehead, “And you will be great.”

Tears come to Lance’s eyes as he nods. Allura wipes them away for him and then takes a step back, holding her fist out for their handshake.

Lance presses his fist to hers and says, “I’ll miss you.”

She quirks a small smile, “I’ll miss you too.”

;;

Lance and Keith meet on the bridge to Renegade Dawn.

Keith is already standing on the bridge, facing away from him, staring up at their Jaeger. Lance will admit that she’s beautiful even though she’s still just the husk of a Jaeger. On the armor plates that are finished, the outer coat is a navy so dark it looks black under the lights in the Shatterdome dock bay. On one side, she had red highlights, almost like pinstripes, down her arms and legs, and along her shoulders, the exact match to their drivesuits. It’s subtle, just enough of a red touch to match the red visor on her head and the nuclear reactor in her chest that glows red as well. There’s a lot more work to be done before she’s fully operational.

Even so, she’s stunning. Hunk has done an amazing job building her.

Lance willingly admits that Keith looks good too. His armor is a perfect match to Lance and Renegade. His hair is smoothed back, sitting just at his shoulders. It’s still a little longer in the front than what Lance is used to, but he figures it’s a good difference, something that reminds him that they’re not the same as they were when they were eighteen.

Other people filter across the bridge, going back and forth from their Jaeger as they configure Renegade Dawn for their drift trial. It’s going to be the first time that Renegade Dawn is running with pilots, and it will also be the first time that Lance and Keith drift together since the failed attempt back at the Garrison.

Most of the base already knows everything because it’s virtually impossible to keep a secret around the Shatterdome. While everybody knew that Lance and Keith knew each other from fighting in battles against the Kaiju, no one knew that they attended the Garrison together, or that they were apparently drift compatible. No one especially knew that they were so compatible that they were destined to be the greatest Jaeger pilots in existence.

Until now.

Word had gotten around so quickly that it made Lance’s head spin. It seemed like the second that Lance and Keith had found out about it themselves, the rest of the base had known too. Everyone had started treating them differently, looking at them like they were going to be the saviors of the world.

Usually, it would make Lance preen and boast. Now, it makes him want to be sick. It didn’t help that Allura and Pidge’s drift trial had been yesterday morning. Victory Pallas had gone first, and their drift trial had been a complete success. Everyone at the base knew that they had done a great job, and no one was expecting anything less from Lance and Keith. If anything, Renegade Dawn was supposed to be the strongest Jaeger in existence.

The pressure is almost too much. Seeing Keith helps. 

He steps up to Keith’s side, his own helmet tucked under his arm. He follows Keith’s gaze and looks up to Renegade Dawn, their Jaeger, and says, “Hey man. I’m ready if you are.”

A few seconds later, Keith nods and says, “This time—”

He stops talking so suddenly that it catches Lance’s attention, and he swings his head over to see Keith still staring up at Renegade resolutely but frowning and looking like he’s struggling with his words.

Lance sets a hand on Keith’s shoulder and says, “It’s going to be different. We’re not who we were then. I’m ready this time.”

Keith lets out a rough breath in response and nods, “Okay. Let’s do this.”

They take the first step forward at the same time, and when the rest of the people on the bridge see them walking toward Renegade Dawn, they all stop to watch. Something tightens in his chest at the thought of climbing into Renegade Dawn. He’s never been in any other Jaeger except for Sunshine Riptide. He doesn’t know—he doesn’t understand how to leave that part of himself behind and pick up something new.

Maybe he doesn’t need to leave it behind. Sunshine Riptide, Allura, all of that is a part of him. Keith is the exact same way; he carries Black Paladin and Shiro with him everywhere he goes, and maybe that’s part of the reason that they’re going to be able to do this at all.

They are not the same people they were when they were eighteen.

Lance doesn’t hesitate when he and Keith step over the threshold and into the cockpit of Renegade Dawn.

Keith speaks before Lance gets a chance to, asking, “Which side?”

“Left,” Lance says immediately, even though he always had the right side in Sunshine Riptide. He continues, “I know your left arm is basically fucked.”

Keith snorts and heads over to the right side without comment. They’ve talked about it a little, the accident in Black Paladin. Even though Keith didn’t have to say it, Lance knew that Keith was always on the left side when he was piloting with Shiro, just like how Lance was always on the right side when he was with Allura. It’s oddly weird how it’s worked out, like they’re matching pieces of the same, weird puzzle.

The inside of Renegade Dawn is familiar and different in all the right ways. Most Jaegers physically look similar, and this one is no different, but it’s the atmosphere, the drive, that’s so foreign in Jaegers. It feels nothing like Sunshine Riptide here. Where Sunshine was bright and fierce, Renegade is heavy but energetic, thrumming with possibility, like the Jaeger is coming to life around them now that her pilots are finally on deck.

Lance smooths his hand across one of the interfaces as he steps onto his own gyro-stabilizers, feet locking down to the new grid-control, elliptical pedals.

He slides his helmet on, watching Keith do the same out of the corner of his eye.

The doors seal shut behind the techs who exit the cockpit. Then, Hunk’s voice echoes through the speakers at his control panel. He says, “Renegade Dawn drift simulation 01 beginning. Two pilots on board.”

“Ready?” Keith asks again, voice quiet. He’s still not looking over to him.

Lance nods anyway. They’re about to be in each other’s heads again. “Ready.”

“Neural handshake commencing in twenty seconds,” Hunk says, and Renegade’s AI picks up the countdown.

“Five, four,” the AI hums, and Lance takes a deep breath. Closes his eyes.

Then, there’s a familiar, sharp pinch in the back of his brain, and a quick intake of breath. A million memories fly past him, and a catch-all of emotions slams into him from every direction, like he’s standing in the ocean in L.A. again and the waves are hitting him, hard. It nearly knocks him over, but he digs his feet into the sand and grits his teeth to get through the initial shock of the drift.

The flashes of memory happen too fast for him to see most of them, but when it’s time, he trusts the drift and lets go, floating away with the current.

He sees his family, the last time he was able to Skype with them from the Shatterdome, all smiling at him when he told them he was moving to a new Jaeger. There’s the photo of his dad and sister, the one he taps on his way out of his room every morning.

There’s Hunk and Pidge, laughing in the cafeteria and then—

Shiro. Looking over to find him ripped out of a Jaeger that’s perfectly familiar and a stranger all at once. All of the hurt, anger, regret that comes with the image. Then, two adults that he’s seen once before, but still doesn’t recognize. A cute guy, leaning over a table to kiss him—

Allura. Smiling at him, holding his hand, laughing with him in Sunshine Riptide’s cockpit. Determination on her face as she grips his shoulders and says, “The drift will be strong today; I can feel it.”

A flash of something older—an eighteen-year-old Lance with hurt in his eyes, blood dripping down his nose. Then, the exact same image but reversed, Keith with his anger and betrayal, staring right back at Lance that day at the Garrison—

Renegade jerks around them as both Keith and Lance slam back into themselves, and distantly, Lance can hear the applause from the control room, echoing through the speaker system in the cockpit. He hears the AI hum, “Neural handshake complete.”

Lance takes a breath and looks over to Keith, only to find him already staring.

A wave of emotion floods through the drift, and Lance breathes again, realizing just how strong this connection is. Drifting with Allura had been… it had been perfect, but it’s nothing compared to drifting with Keith. Nothing compared to _this._

“Okay, guys,” Hunk starts, and Lance blinks, trying to focus. There’s just—there’s so _much._ He hears Keith hum in response, maybe aloud or maybe silently. He doesn’t think he’s ever going to be able to tell the difference. Hunk continues, “Drift connection strong. We’ve got 100% alignment on both right and left grids already. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

Good. He’s feeling really fucking good.

“Same here,” Keith replies, out loud this time. His voice is hoarse.

“What?” Hunk asks. “You have to talk out loud. Is everything okay?”

Lance breathes again, steadying himself, standing up straight on the stabilizers. He says, “Good. It’s really good.”

Keith leans up too, tapping at his control panel above his head, and the interface changes their visuals, so they can see out of Renegade and across the Shatterdome. People are gathered everywhere, watching them, tucked in all corners of the bay to see Renegade Dawn come to life.

“Okay, let’s run some movement then,” Hunk says, voice pleased. “Your connection strength is through the roof. We’ve never seen numbers like this before.”

A thought swims across the drift to Lance, and he picks up his right arm without even needing verbal confirmation from Keith. They flex their fingers in time, and Lance feels Renegade moving around them, moving with them, and he _swears_ that Sunshine never felt like this.

Distantly, Keith agrees with him. Black Paladin wasn’t like this either.

They run through the rest of the movements with Hunk and his team monitoring them from the Jaeger alcove, built eye level with Renegade Dawn. They have a full range of motion, except for their feet, which are still grounded since Renegade literally has no legs.

Everything is fine until there’s a ghost of tension in the bond, maybe at Hunk’s voice or even something else, but one of them, or both, latches onto it so quickly and violently, that they’re pulled out of alignment.

The warning alarms in Renegade blare loudly, and Lance winces. He doesn’t realize that his eyes are closed until he sees a flash of his dad and sister, huddling with him in the rubble of the streets of L.A. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s reaching out and gripping onto the memory and—

“Lance!”

He gasps, letting the memory flow back into the drift as he forces his eyes open. The cockpit of Renegade is still flashing red, the warning signs that the pilots aren’t in alignment with each other or the Jaeger.

“Focus, Lance,” Hunk pleads.

“I’m okay,” he grits out between his teeth, pulling himself back away from the edge of whatever hole he was about to fall into. “I’m coming back. I’ve got it.”

“You’re stabilizing, yes, but Keith is way out,” Hunk says, voice frantic, and sure enough, when Lance jerks over to look at Keith, he’s already gone too far. He’s standing too still, unblinking, frozen. “The connection is too strong. We’re going to have to terminate—”

“No!” Lance objects. If they terminate the connection, then that will be the second time that he and Keith have fucked up a drift attempt. If they do that, they’ll never learn how to drift together. Lance continues, “Let me get him. I’ve got him.”

Lance can hear Hunk objecting too, but he closes his eyes and falls back into the drift, plummeting down, down, down until he finds Keith there, drowning.

“Keith!” Lance shouts, and they materialize at the edge of a memory that Keith is already chasing.

Lance reaches out, grabs onto him, and jumps with him.

It’s another Jaeger cockpit, one that he’s never seen before. It’s dark, the lights are flickering, and there’s water spraying into the hull from where he’s crouched near the floor.

Lance stumbles to his feet, horror filling him when he realizes where exactly he is, what’s about to happen. He stops breathing in that second because this—he should have realized what Keith might see when they tumbled into the drift earlier this morning. He curses himself for not preparing for this.

Keith stands in front of him on the gyro-stabilizers in Black Paladin. He’s in another drivesuit that’s completely black, and he’s frantically punching at the control panel above his head. Lance can feel the terror that’s consuming him already, creeping into his chest and settling in his stomach, crawling up his throat until he feels like he might choke on it. 

“Keith,” Lance starts, forcing his voice to work. He moves around the walkway until he’s facing Keith from the memory, who’s younger and angrier and more terrified than anything that Lance has ever felt before. His voice shakes when he says, “Keith, this is a memory. This isn’t real. You’re not really here right now.”

The AI in Black Paladin and the warning alarms are going off in time. Keith looks to his right, like Lance isn’t there at all.

Shiro’s already looking back at him, face determined, eyes calm. He’s not scared. He’s not scared, he’s not scared—

Lance finds himself sucked into the moment with Keith, and he has to shoulder his way past it, saying, “Keith. Keith, focus on me. I’m here. This is just a memory. Listen to my voice.”

“We’re all out of options,” Memory-Keith says, and fuck, even his voice is terrified.

Lance tries one more time because he knows what this is. He watched the aerial footage of the attack and seeing it from this way—he’s not sure he can handle it. He’s fucking terrified, thinking about this memory but Keith—Keith is reliving this. Lance isn’t sure that he can take it anymore. He needs to get them out of it right _now._ He finds that he has tears in his eyes when he shouts, “Keith! Keith, goddamn it, _this isn’t real!_ ”

But Shiro opens his mouth and says, “Keith, listen to me—”

Then, there’s a loud roar, and the Kaiju, Knifehead, rips away their Jaeger’s arm and takes Shiro with it.

The emotions crash down onto Keith, and he starts screaming in agony, in terror, in horror, as he feels everything that Shiro does. All the pain, fear, and death that pervades the bond for one, two, three seconds before there’s nothing where Shiro was.

All Lance can do is watch. A scream rushes up his throat, but he shoves it down.

Everything crashes down onto Keith in that moment, but Lance pushes his way into the bond, keeps it from suffocating him. He slips under the weight, using his bond with Keith to shoulder some of it when he says, “You’re not alone, Keith. I’m right fucking here. Come _back_.”

Then—

Lance gasps, and his eyes fly open, and he’s back in the cockpit of Renegade Dawn, back to the warning alarm, to the AI saying, “Weapons system disengaged,” and to Hunk and the rest of the team yelling orders.

In horror, Lance looks out over the Shatterdome, sees where both of them are lowering their arms and turning off the plasmacaster before it fires into the heart of the bay.

He jerks his head over to Keith, who’s finally breathing and blinking. Lance reaches out through the drift, feels him here, now, and lets out a relieved breath.

“Both of you are aligning back to 100%,” Hunk says, voice helping ground Lance in the moment a little more. He sounds like he’s out of breath too.

“Sorry,” Keith says, still struggling with his breath. He has one hand pressed to his chest, and Lance notices that he’s given all of the weight of Renegade’s left arm to Lance so it won’t move with his action, won’t let the rest of the onlookers see what’s happening inside the cockpit right now.

Lance presses his mute button and turns to Keith, “It’s not your fault.”

Hunk is saying something else now, but that’s the least of Lance’s worries. Keith turns to him, and Lance doesn’t even need the drift to know what he’s feeling. His eyes say enough.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lance repeats fiercely, aware that there are still tears in both of their eyes. Keith’s are streaming down his cheeks underneath his helmet too. “It will never be your fault, understand?”

Keith doesn’t nod. Instead, he says, “You should have left me in there. I didn’t want you to have to see that.”

_I didn’t want you to have to feel that,_ is what Keith means.

Lance is pretty sure that the drift will tell Keith everything that he needs to know about how Lance feels about this, but sometimes, spoken words are more important. This is one of those times. Keith needs to _hear_ this.

“I will never leave you stuck in a memory like that,” Lance vows, voice dark, full of promise, “especially not that one. You’re my fucking co-pilot, Keith. I will never leave you _anywhere_.”

Keith doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t need to. Lance gets everything from the drift.

“Back to 100% alignment,” Hunk says, relieved. “You guys okay? Your connection strength is even higher than before. Amazing, honestly.”

“We’re good,” Keith says, after Lance unmutes them, and he straightens, Lance echoing his movement at the same exact second. He reaches up to his control panel and takes back the weight of Renegade’s left arm, distributing it evenly between them. He looks over to Lance and nods, “Let’s fucking do this.”

Lance smirks, and they both flatten their right palms, make fists with their left hands, and slam the two together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A voice from somewhere behind them asks, “What does this mean for the success of Renegade Dawn then?”
> 
> Before Hunk can reply, Coran stands and turns to address the rest of the room. He says, “We are expecting a complete success from Renegade Dawn. With the numbers we’ve seen from the pilots, we can expect no less than perhaps the most successful Jaeger in the world, which is just what we need in these trying times as we advance toward the end of the war.”
> 
> The room is silent, so everyone can hear when Keith snorts and says, “No pressure or anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! sorry for the long absence, but I finished the first year of my master's degree this week, yay! I'll be back on the regular update schedule from now on, so Sundays and Wednesdays! Thanks for sticking with this fic! All of the wonderful kudos and comments make me super excited to share my fic with y'all!
> 
> Also, just a quick note with where we're going in this fic: I wrote most of this before the last seasons of Voltron aired and confirmed Shiro's sexuality so that's why there's the implied shallura. Nothing ever happens with them (since Shiro's dead, yikes), but I just wanted to be up front that there's a conversation that mentions it in this chapter. I'm adding the tag as I post this, so if it's something that really bothers you, just exit out. 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative 
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

After the drift trial in Renegade Dawn, Lance is torn between feeling completely vulnerable and utterly invincible.

He and Keith finished the first trial successfully. Their drift connection was strong throughout the entire session, and they didn’t have any other problems after they reconnected. Honestly, Lance thought it was strange how easily it came to them. After Lance willingly went into one of Keith’s darkest memories to bring him back, after he felt everything that Keith was feeling in that moment, nothing else seemed to be a problem at all.

It’s scary how easy the connection with Keith feels now.

Where it was overwhelming and unbelievable before they tried drifting together again, now it’s simple, easy. It’s another type of difficult—the kind where it’s so easy to wonder why they weren’t able to work together when they first tried and what they lost because of it.

Now, Lance feels completely bare. Through the drift, Keith had seen everything. Keith had been _inside his mind._ He knows Lance, from the inside out, like so few people in the world know each other.

Lance only knows how it feels because he has the same connection to Keith. He’s seen everything that Keith has ever done and felt. He’s seen everything that Keith _is_ all the way down to the bottom of his fucking soul.

Keith has seen him too.

And he’s still sitting right beside him.

Their success with the drift connection and Renegade Dawn has been a huge motivation across the rest of the Shatterdome. Since they have the last working Jaegers here anyway and they’re in a last-ditch attempt to fight off the Kaiju and end the war, seeing two strong pilots tackle a brand-new Jaeger and win seems like the kind of thing to celebrate. In fact, the rest of the Shatterdome is celebrating. There are parties happening on every level to celebrate Lance and Keith’s small victory before getting back to work.

Lance wishes that they could join some of the parties instead of sitting in this meeting.

Keith sighs and shifts again, pulling at the collar of his fatigues. They were hustled off to the meeting as soon as they were out of their drivesuits after the simulation. They’ve drifted together only once now (Lance refuses to count the disaster that happened when they were eighteen), but he’s sure that he doesn’t need the drift to tell how Keith’s feeling right now.

Lance hands Keith his half-full water bottle, knowing that he needs something to distract himself before he stands up and storms out of here. Even without the connection, Lance can tell how shaky Keith feels, still a little out of it from seeing and having to relive his memories of Shiro and the attack on Black Paladin.

Plus, Keith drained his water in one go when they first sat down. He’s been tapping his empty bottle against his knee since the meeting started thirty minutes ago.

Keith stops shifting and glances over to Lance, only meeting his gaze for a second before his dark eyes settle on the bottle Lance is offering. He takes it without any more prompting, sipping it carefully before handing it back.

Lance shifts his focus back to the meeting. For the past half hour, the room has been debating and questioning Renegade Dawn’s mechanics and lower-level framing and defense. Lance has been half-listening. He’ll get the official update from Hunk later, when things become more solid.

Now, it seems as though they’re moving on. The mechanics specialist for Renegade Dawn steps down from the podium. Even though Hunk had built their Jaeger, they put another mechanic on to help him with it. Now, since the lack of people in the Shatterdome has been killing their ranks, Hunk has been promoted to also monitor the connection of the pilots to the Jaeger. Honestly, Lance loves it. There’s no one else that he’d rather have than Hunk in the control room of a Jaeger he’s piloting.

Hunk replaces the mechanics specialist and changes the slideshow to a screencap report of the drift trial they just completed. The rest of the lecture hall is filled with other officials, top-ranking officers, and pilots who are expecting to hear the updates of Renegade Dawn. Coran, the Marshall, is the only other person on the front row besides Lance and Keith, but he’s sitting at the end, carefully listening to the presentation.

“Alright,” Hunk says, glancing up at the crowd, “as you can see, the connection between the pilots and the Jaeger was strong today, allowing for a complete drift and alignment of one hundred percent for over ninety-seven percent of the duration of said trial.

“Pilot 1 and Pilot 2 both achieved one hundred percent alignment within three seconds of completing the neural handshake, which beats every other recorded time in the world,” Hunk explains, eyes shifting to where Lance and Keith sit in the front row of the meeting hall.

Lance looks over to Keith, only to find him already looking back. Keith shrugs. Lance knew it had been fast but—damn.

Hunk motions to the chart, “You’ll also see that the connection between Pilots 1 and 2 was the strongest that any Shatterdome has ever seen before. These numbers are higher than any other connection strength by over fifty percent. The only other pilots that even came close to Renegade Dawn’s pilots were the pilots of Driver Hydra, a Mark V out of Russia that was piloted by a set of twins. Even then, the scores from Rangers Kogane and Sanchez are too competitive to mark against those of Driver Hydra.”

A voice from somewhere behind them asks, “What does this mean for the success of Renegade Dawn then?”

Before Hunk can reply, Coran stands and turns to address the rest of the room. He says, “We are expecting a complete success from Renegade Dawn. With the numbers we’ve seen from the pilots, we can expect no less than perhaps the most successful Jaeger in the world, which is just what we need in these trying times as we advance toward the end of the war.”

The room is silent, so everyone can hear when Keith snorts and says, “No pressure or anything.”

Lance can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out of him, and when he looks over to Keith, he catches Keith’s smile, soft and embarrassed at the attention, aimed at the floor.

There’s a quiet wave of laughter, most of it coming from the pilots huddled in the back rows of the room, before the attention shifts back to Hunk. His smile fades back to a more serious expression as he continues, “Obviously we wondered at the success rate of these two pilots and what made their drift compatibility different from their previous co-pilots.”

Lance and Keith stop laughing in the same second. Anxiety rushes through him.

Hunk pulls up another chart, which shows two screencaps of two different drift connections. Both of them are labeled with their last names on it, but when Lance checks the dates in the bottom corner of the screen, he sees the trial from today and—

The trial from when they were eighteen.

Lance leans forward in his seat, and out of the corner of his eyes, he notices Keith does the exact same thing.

The two charts look the exact same.

“The chart on the left is the first drift trial we ever did with Kogane and Sanchez back in 2021,” Coran explains, and the rest of the room falls silent again.

Hunk nods, “Now, eight years later, we run another drift trial and see almost the exact same results. The only differences we can see by the data, which would be time limits and strength tests, are defined only by the amount of time it took them to make the connection. We extrapolated the data and decided that the only differences between the two would be the training both pilots received after the first drift trial.”

“If the results were the same save for the training, then why weren’t Ranger Kogane and Ranger Sanchez placed in the same Shatterdome to train together to become co-pilots sooner?” It’s another official in the room, one that Lance can’t recognize by voice alone.

“Because he tried to kill me,” Lance and Keith say it at the exact same time, voices echoing with each other. Lance turns to scowl at Keith.

“I wasn’t trying to kill you,” Keith says, blinking at him. “I knew we were drift compatible, and you were being an asshole.”

“You didn’t even know _my name_ , Keith!” Lance shrieks, earning a high-pitched laugh that he recognizes as Allura’s somewhere in the back of the room. “Besides, there’s no way you knew we were drift compatible. You didn’t know anything when you were eighteen.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but there’s a flash of laughter in his eyes that Lance catches. He says, “Like you did either.”

Lance opens his mouth to keep arguing, but Hunk catches his eye, shaking his head slightly. After all, they’re in a meeting with the top-ranking officials of the PPDC; it’s probably best not to fight in front of them in case they get wary about Renegade Dawn’s progress. Lance sighs and reaches out to shove Keith, saying, “Whatever you say.”

Coran clears his throat, and the rest of the room turns their attention back to him. He continues, “After this data and the results we’ve seen from Victory Pallas in their drift trial yesterday, we are expected to be fully prepared for combat once the repairs on Crystal Venom are finished. Which brings us to our next objective.”

Hunk steps down from the podium and lets Coran take his spot. He switches the projector off and rests his hands on the lips of the podium, staring out at them intensely before he starts, “There have been many attempts at ending this war before now. There have been several attempts at closing the breach, which is the only way to seal off the gap and stop the Kaiju. None of these plans have ever worked before, and when the Jaeger program was defunded in favor of the Wall of Life, I knew it would mean the end of the world should we not prepare for something else.”

There’s a scary moment where Coran pauses before continuing, “We’ve run test after test, checked every possibility, and used up all of our resources. Our plan is simple: we take the remaining three Jaegers we have and charge them right into the breach, where we’ll drop a nuclear bomb capable of complete destruction.”

Silence.

Lance blinks, glances around the room. Most everyone else is staring at Coran. 

“How exactly do you expect to get the bomb through the breach? Only Kaiju are capable of moving through the breach,” one of the officials asks the question, and everyone in the room murmurs in agreement, voicing the same concerns.

“That is correct,” Coran allows, brushing a hand over his mustache, “which is why we will be waiting to deploy the Jaegers until the breach is open. That is when we will attack.”

“During another Kaiju attack?”

“How do you plan to defend the pilots?”

“That’s impossible!”

“It’s a death sentence! They’ll be killed!”

Several of the other officers in the room speak up all at once, and everyone is loud, panicked, talking over each other. Lance even feels it in his chest a little, the panic that everyone else is feeling, but when he looks over to Keith, it settles.

Which is another thing for him to worry about if he’s being honest with himself.

Keith is already looking back at him, eyebrow quirked. It’s like he’s saying that he doesn’t believe any of this, like he doesn’t know how it’s going to work, but like he also knows that he’ll try anyway. As long as Lance is there.

He’s able to pick all of this up from Keith in just a single glance. Of _course_ Lance is going to be there with him.

“Quiet!” Coran calls, interrupting the loud protests around the room. His shout is enough to stun everyone into silence. Then, he steps out from around the podium with his hands clasped behind his back, expression serious.

He continues, “Let me remind you all what’s happening. We have just had two Jaegers go down. We lost four pilots. We have no more funding, no more resources. Twice now we’ve seen the Wall of Life come down at the hands of the Kaiju and had it not been for these pilots’ bravery, we could have been facing total and complete annihilation.”

The atmosphere in the room shifts again, returning to somber, silent. They had all been there. At some point in time, they’ve all seen Jaegers go down, pilots fail. But every time a tragedy occurs, the war starts over, and they get a second chance, a chance to right some wrongs and save lives.

Now, they’re faced with the biggest wrong to right. It’s the last chance they have.

Coran says as much when he continues, “This is our last battle. We _must_ end the war. There is no other option. There are no other Jaegers. There is no cavalry coming to the rescue. _We_ are the cavalry, and we are the last hope for defending the world from the Kaiju once and for all.”

It’s a strong speech, but the room at large still seems hesitant. Lance knows how it feels. He’s dreamed of the war ending, fantasized about being in the last Jaeger, taking down the last Kaiju, but he’s never thought that it would be real. He never thought they would be here.

He feels a hand come down on his shoulder and turns to see Keith already looking at him. His gaze is intense, hair falling over his right eye, framing the scar on his face. It’s his serious expression, and for the hundredth time today, Lance feels so thankful to be right here, to be right beside him and to have this, even after all this time.

They can do this. If anyone in the entire world can do this, it’s them.

The rest of the meeting passes by in a fog. As it continues for another hour, then another, it seems like Keith grows more frustrated and agitated. He’s pulling at his collar, tapping his foot against the ground, bouncing his knee, and running his hand through his hair. Lance feels horrible about it, knows that it’s probably because of everything they saw in the drift earlier, and he’s halfway considering interrupting the meeting to get Keith the hell out of here. But, he doesn’t want to cause more trouble, and with the way that Coran barrels through the explanation of the plan that they have, he doesn’t want to interrupt again.

After the meeting is finally over, they all start to leave the room. Keith is on his feet the second that Coran steps off the podium, sending a desperate look back at Lance. Lance nods and reaches out to squeeze his wrist comfortingly, and when he lets go, Keith darts out of the room, weaving through everyone else until Lance can’t see him anymore.

“Is everything okay?”

Lance turns to find Allura and Pidge at his side, and they’re both looking at him in concern, expressions oddly similar. Lance wonders if they’re already starting to pick up on each other’s personalities and habits. It’s not odd for Jaeger pilots to become similar and act like each other so that it seems like they’re actual twin siblings instead of being strangers for most of their lives.

“Yeah,” Lance says, a little reluctantly. He doesn’t want to make it a habit to talk about Keith—especially anything private, and that’s the exact definition of what happened in their drift trial earlier—without him there or with anyone else, even if it is Pidge and Allura. He continues, “We had a hard drift trial. It was good but—still hard.”

Pidge nods, and Allura reaches out, taking Lance’s hand and weaving their fingers together.

Everyone else clears out of the room slowly, and the three of them stand in silence together, waiting for the room to empty. When they’re finally alone, Pidge heaves a big sigh and says, eyes wide, “I can’t believe this.”

“It does seem insane, even for Coran,” Allura admits, biting her lip, “but I suppose it’s exactly what we need now.”

“It’s the last option we have,” Lance agrees, even though he’s feeling doubtful too. It’s—a lot. It’s just a lot all at once. To think that they’re going to go down to the breach in the middle of a Kaiju attack and drop a nuclear bomb? It seems impossible.

“How long do you think we have?” Pidge asks, and hearing that, hearing her talk of death, reminds Lance how young she is.

Allura shrugs, glancing between the two of them, eyes determined. She says, “Crystal Venom needs repair work done, but when it is finished, we will be deployed as soon as there’s an attack.”

There’s a pause, and because Pidge and Allura both look too worried, Lance pushes his doubt away and says, “We’re ready. Even if it’s tomorrow, we’re ready.”

“Are we?”

Lance looks back to Allura, who’s voiced the question. She’s staring up at him, eyebrows furrowed, gaze serious. Something about the way she’s looking at him, and maybe her question altogether, rubs him the wrong way.

“What do you mean?”

She looks past his shoulder, trades a glance with Pidge, and says, “Is Keith ready?”

Something heavy settles in his stomach.

His response is defensive, and he pulls his hand away from Allura’s when he says, “The last time Keith was in a Jaeger, his co-pilot was killed. Could you imagine having to pilot again after something like that?”

Neither of them responds right away. Eventually, Allura shakes her head.

Lance takes a breath. “Keith is stronger than any other pilot I’ve ever seen. Drifting with him is like—I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like with him. He’s gone now to take a break after reliving the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to him. I know because I was there. I felt it with him.”

Pidge nods too, “Keith is ready. He’s going to be fine. He piloted Black Paladin with Shiro for years, and they were the strongest Jaeger pilots ever. It’s pretty obvious that he’s going to be okay.”

Lance bites his lip. He appreciates Pidge’s support and abject belief in Keith, but he knows that she’s idealizing and that Allura could easily bring it up. Pidge has never been in a Jaeger before, and she doesn’t understand the strain that it puts on pilots, not like Allura does.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Allura apologizes then, reaching out to grip his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that Keith wasn’t ready; I’m just worried for you. I’m worried for all of us. This is all happening so fast.”

“True,” Pidge admits, biting her lip now, anxiety settling in her expression. “I know that we are training and everything but… it still seems like everyone is counting on us and only us.”

Lance doesn’t know how to respond or what to say because they’re right. It _does_ seem like that. He does feel like everyone is counting on the four of them and there’s all this pressure and—it’s exhausting.

“I know,” Lance says, and even though it still stings a little that Allura is thinking about him and Keith not being ready, he knows that it’s just because she’s thinking the same thing about her and Pidge. But honestly, they don’t have time for it. They have to be ready.

There’s a long, awkward pause between them until Lance says, “I’m going to check on Keith. See you guys later.”

He turns and walks away before they say anything else.

;;

It’s hours before he sees Keith, not necessarily because he couldn’t find him, but because he knows that Keith needs some time alone to be okay.

So, Lance takes his time. He goes back to his barrack and changes again. He calls and leaves his mom a voicemail on her cell phone since it’s still too early for her to be off work back in L.A. Then, he wanders the bottom level of the Shatterdome before making his way up to the construction deck where the new Jaegers are being built.

Keith is standing right where Lance knew he would be.

He isn’t facing Lance; instead, he’s leaning against the railing on the balcony that overlooks their Jaeger. He’s still in his fatigues from earlier, and his stance is tense.

Lance walks up to him silently and slots into the space next to him. When he glances over, Keith’s expression is blank, concentrated on something that Lance doesn’t understand yet. It feels like there’s something that Keith is trying to say, like he’s trying to gather the courage to speak, so Lance stares down at the unfinished hull of Renegade Dawn and waits.

“I’m sorry.”

Lance frowns and swings his head over to look at Keith. Honestly, another apology is the last thing Lance had expected to hear. Maybe he should have known better because of how upset Keith had been when he’d chased the rabbit in the drift today.

Lance shakes his head, “No, man, I told you, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I couldn’t imagine drifting again after everything you’ve been through.”

Keith shakes his head too, mirroring Lance unconsciously, “No. That’s not it. I just—I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

There’s another quiet pause between them, and then Keith turns away slightly and whispers, “You must miss Allura.”

Lance feels something in him break a little at the thought of Keith tormenting himself over this for the past few hours. He knows that Keith had felt Lance’s feelings for Allura from when they had drifted together earlier, but damn, he never expected him to say anything about it. Finally, Lance sighs and decides that he’s just going to be honest. Keith knows him. He knows him as much as Allura does; there’s no point in lying. Keith has already seen everything in the drift.

“Yeah,” he says, voice low. “I miss her a lot.”

Keith doesn’t respond. Instead, he gets quiet again.

He doesn’t know if it will help Keith or hurt him more, but a few minutes later, Lance asks, “Don’t you miss Shiro?”

Keith turns his gaze to him, and it’s so raw and full of pain that Lance feels sorry for asking for a second before he realizes that Keith _needs_ to talk to someone. Enough of this self-imposed isolation.

“I miss Shiro so much it’s hard to breathe sometimes,” Keith admits quietly.

Lance nods, and instead of replying, he reaches out and sets his hand on Keith’s arm.

Another long moment of silence fills the space between them. Lance stays right beside Keith, keeps holding onto his arm. He knows exactly how Keith’s feeling, but only because he’d felt it right there in the drift with him. And having to deal with that every minute of every day—Lance doesn’t know how Keith manages. He doesn’t think he’d be able to do it. There’s a reason that Jaeger accidents usually kill both pilots; the connection between pilots is so strong that it’s near impossible to live through it when it ends.

Eventually, Keith looks over to him and says, “That’s why I didn’t want us to drift together.”

Lance blinks, “Because I miss Allura and you miss Shiro?”

“Because you deserve a better co-pilot than me. Allura is your—”

Keith stops so suddenly that Lance isn't sure what they’re talking about anymore.

“Allura is my what?”

“You love her.”

He stares at Keith. This isn’t making any sense. He says, “Of _course_ I love Allura. Didn’t you love Shiro?”

“Not… not like you and Allura.”

And _oh_ , everything becomes so clear. Keith has been—this whole time he’s thought...

Lance moves his hand from Keith’s arm and reaches up to grip both of his shoulders and turn Keith toward him. He keeps his voice level and serious when he says, “Keith, Allura and I aren’t together. We’ve never been together.”

Keith frowns, “You don’t have to lie, Lance. I’ve seen your memories.”

Lance guesses that Keith is right. He has seen all of Lance’s memories of Allura, and sure, they were incriminating and probably didn’t help to make Keith believe it wasn’t true. He just—he can’t believe that Keith has been thinking about this.

“The first time that Allura and I slept together was right after Black Paladin went down in Hong Kong,” Lance admits, skipping straight to what Keith is talking about. Of course he’s seen those memories. Sometimes, Lance really hates the drift. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“No.”

“We weren’t together, haven’t been together, won’t ever be together,” he explains. “I… Allura—we were both so sad, after the news. You were in a permanent coma, and Shiro was fucking dead. And there wasn’t anything that we could do to help.”

“So you just fucked her?”

Lance sighs and pulls away from Keith. Damn, he’s so dense.

“I’m sorry,” Keith apologizes again, looking away from Lance. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“Keith, do you have any idea how much Allura liked Shiro?”

Keith freezes then, eyes wide. “She… she liked Shiro?”

He nods solemnly, “A lot. Did you not know how often they talked?”

“No, I knew that, but Shiro—we both assumed she didn’t like him like that because of you.”

“Me?”

“Have you ever paid attention to how much you touch her? Or the way you look at her?”

He frowns, “She’s my best friend.”

Keith shakes his head, “It never looked like that. Shiro couldn’t figure out why she was talking to him, and then his feelings for her only got worse when—”

“His feelings?” Lance demands.

Keith stares at him, like it’s common knowledge, like it’s obvious, and then he says, “Shiro loved her.”

“Oh,” Lance breathes. “ _Oh.”_

There’s another short pause, and then Keith asks, “But you and Allura—that wasn’t because you were in a relationship?”

“No,” Lance repeats. “No, no. Allura was so sad and I—you… I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

Keith stares at him, dark eyes glistening in the low, tungsten lights on the balcony. Lance wishes they were in the drift again, just so he could feel exactly what Keith is feeling now, to maybe make this a little easier somehow.

“Fuck,” Keith swears, “that’s—I don’t know what to say.”

Lance bites his lip. What would have been different? If Shiro and Allura had known? God, she would have been so happy. She liked Shiro so much, and when Black Paladin went down, Lance had never seen her like that before. It was—horrible for both of them.

It was horrible for all of them.

“I wish we could go back in time,” Lance says suddenly, stupidly.

Keith doesn’t make fun of him for it, doesn’t even roll his eyes or snort about how it’s impossible or wouldn’t matter or _whatever_. Instead, he just nods, looks over to Lance, and says, “Me too. There’s a lot of things I would change.”

Silence overtakes them. Now, after hearing this, Lance feels inexplicably sad. He can’t—he can’t believe any of this. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Shiro and Allura didn’t know. It’s not fair that Shiro died, it’s not fair that Keith lost Shiro, it’s not fair that Lance lost Keith for so long and it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not—

“Keith?” Lance’s voice is barely audible through the trembling in it.

“Yeah?”

“Can I have a hug?”

Before Lance can even really finish the question, Keith is turning to him and pulling him into his chest. One of Keith’s arms is around Lance’s waist, and his other hand is on his neck, pressing his head into Keith’s shoulder.

Lance flings his arms around Keith’s shoulders and holds on to him. God, he can’t imagine ever losing Keith. He doesn’t think that he’d ever survive that. Not now, not after drifting with him, not after bonding with him, not after—

Just not at all. Lance knows he wouldn’t make it.

Keith and Lance stand in the circle of each other’s arms for a long, long time up on their balcony overlooking Renegade Dawn. Lance closes his eyes and holds back tears because Keith is here. He’s warm in his arms, and for today, for right now, he’s here.

And Lance isn’t planning on ever letting go.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is staring at him when he looks up again, and his dark eyes are heavy and intense. Lance can’t help but think about Keith’s last Jaeger, about all the things Keith has dealt with and faced in the past. After all, the last time Keith had been in a full Jaeger, he lost Shiro and then had to fight the Kaiju by himself. Lance would be—he wouldn’t be able to do this at all if their roles were reversed. 
> 
> When Keith doesn’t say anything, Lance steps in close to him, right to his shoulder and murmurs, repeating Keith’s earlier words back to him, “I’m with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends! I'm posting two chapters today bc I want them to be read together instead of separate, so here we go! Thank y'all so much for the lovely and wonderful responses and comments on this fic. It makes me so happy to read them! 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative 
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

“C’mon, Lance, seriously?”

Lance groans as he hauls himself up from the mat for what feels like the hundredth time. His cheeks are hot, and he prays that Keith thinks it’s from exertion and not—whatever the hell this actually is.

Okay, Lance knows what it is. He’ll admit it. They’ve been training since dawn, and Keith has long since lost his shirt. Lance demands to know who even has the right to _look_ like Keith does right now. All of his pale skin and smooth muscles are out on display for everyone to see, and it’s not good for Lance’s heart. Or the rest of him, if he’s honest. It’s just not good for him in general.

“Shut up,” Lance grumbles.

Keith rolls his eyes and tosses him one of the wooden sparring staffs. Lance manages to catch it despite the glaring distraction that he’s faced with, and he prays that he can just get through the rest of this training session without making a fool of himself.

Logically, he knows it’s probably too late for that.

“Seriously though, what’s going on? You don’t seem focused.”

Lance bites his lip. He should have known that Keith would be able to guess what was going on. Other than the shirt thing—because that’s part of it, but it’s not everything.

“I’m okay,” Lance says, dodging the question. He doesn’t want to worry Keith. They have enough to worry about without him stressing over Lance too.

It’s enough to make Keith pause because he raises an eyebrow and says, “You sure?”

Lance nods and steps into a fighting stance. Thankfully, Keith lets it go and falls back into his sparring stance too.

Since breakfast this morning, they’ve been on the training deck together. It’s been empty pretty much all morning, no sign of any other pilots, which has added to the almost intimate setting Lance has been suffering through all morning with Keith. Throughout the week, they’ve been training with each other in Renegade Dawn and on the simulators, trying to adjust to the feeling of the drift with each other. The engineering and mechanics teams are still working on completing their Jaeger, but they have also been able to finish a few more drift simulations together. Each has been better than the last. Their numbers were high in the first drift simulation they completed days ago, but since then, they’ve shattered their previous records. Coran, Hunk, and the other engineers have been ecstatic and excited about it, but Lance just feels relieved mostly. Being in the drift with Keith is just—overwhelming.

_Overwhelming_ is also a good way to describe how Lance has been feeling over the past few days anyway. The thought of Renegade Dawn being finished both excites and terrifies him because honestly, the mission that they have been tasked with is huge. Saving the world… it’s what he’s been training for and dreaming of since he enlisted in the military.

Lance’s thoughts are interrupted when he misjudges Keith’s next attack. He curses on his way down, rolling onto his back and bringing his hands up to hide his face.

Lance feels it more than sees it when Keith crosses the space between them and stands over him. When he finally lifts his hands from his eyes, Keith is looking down at him, arms crossed over his stupidly broad and defined chest.

“You wanna try telling me you’re okay again?”

He rolls his eyes, fonder than anything, “Shut up, Keith.”

Keith sighs, then, he sits down on the floor. He’s just a few inches away from him, and he’s so close that Lance can feel the heat from his body.

_Fuck me,_ Lance thinks.

Then, Keith says, “Check in?” and his voice is all kinds of soft, hesitant, and slow.

Lance sighs, cursing himself. He’s the one who started all the check ins, and he should have known that it would come back to bite him. At the same time, a small part of him is pleased about it; Lance doesn’t know when he’ll stop being impressed with Keith or just—so fucking grateful that he’s his copilot.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons that Lance says exactly what he’s thinking when he starts, “I’m tired.”

“Sleep tired or war tired?”

“War tired.”

“Hmm.”

Lance sighs. He doesn’t want to explain, doesn’t even want to really talk about it at all, but Keith is here, waiting on him. He’s being open and honest and great. Most days, Lance still can’t believe that this is working between them, that they’re finally copilots and maybe even friends.

So, he sits up and keeps his eyes away from Keith when he says, “Most days it doesn’t bother me, but there are some days where it feels like something is eating me alive because of all the pressure. Everybody is looking to us, Keith, _us_ to save the world, like it’s our fucking job.”

Keith’s voice is low when he says, “It is our job, Lance.”

“I know it is but… you remember watching Omega Shield go down the other night?”

“Of course I do.”

Lance hesitates before he says, “I keep having nightmares about that being us.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Look at me.”

When Lance turns to look, Keith is already watching him. His dark eyes are honest, serious. He doesn’t seem afraid. He’s not looking at Lance like he’s pathetic. He just watches him, wearing one of those few expressions that Lance still doesn’t understand even though he knows he’s getting closer.

Then, Keith says, “I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of.”

Lance looks away, feels tears burn behind his eyes and in his throat. Honestly, he hadn’t even realized that’s what this feeling was. He didn’t get that it was shame burning through him when he woke up in the middle of the night with fire in his eyes and explosions in his ears. He didn’t understand that it was guilt he felt when he thought about it not being fair that this huge responsibility was given to them and he didn’t want to do it.

His entire life has come to this point. This is what he has been training for, what he’s worked for, what he’s fought for. There would be very little that he would change if he even had the chance. Despite everything else, he still wants to be the one to face down the last Kaiju, even if it just means that no one else has to do it.

But—he’s given everything to this war. Today, he’s tired.

Lance’s voice is choked when he asks, “You don’t?”

“No, of course I don’t,” Keith says immediately, and Lance starts to feel some of the pressure ease off his chest as he shares it with Keith. “I’ve been there before. It’s terrifying. I was alone in my Jaeger for forty-three minutes, and the only reason I lasted that long or beat that fucking Kaiju was because I knew that there wasn’t anyone else to help. I was the only thing in between Hong Kong and the Kaiju, and it was my job. So I just kept going.”

“How?” Lance asks, some kind of desperate. “I feel so… heavy.”

“C’mere.”

There’s something dangerous about the way Keith says it, about the way his voice sounds around the syllables of it. His eyes are dark, intense, and his arm is outstretched now, reaching toward Lance, offering something that Lance isn’t sure of yet.

And then there’s something dangerous about the way Lance doesn’t care, about the way he doesn’t even hesitate when he scoots forward and falls into Keith’s grip, so close that he’s able to rest his head on Keith’s shoulder. 

One of Keith’s arms slides around his waist, pulling him even farther into his side. Keith’s skin is warm, and Lance closes his eyes.

The training deck around them is silent. The only thing that Lance can hear are the soft breaths that Keith takes every few seconds, like he’s completely relaxed here with Lance. It’s a nice thought, and it helps soothe some of the anxiety in his own chest. Knowing that Keith is able to talk like this and feel comfortable with him compared to just a few weeks ago is nothing short of a fucking miracle. Lance definitely wouldn’t be able to handle any of this without him.

It’s quiet between them for a moment before Keith says, “Tell me what you need.”

Lance thinks for a second before, “Just this. Just you.”

He feels Keith nod, and the arm around his waist tightens, pulling him farther into Keith’s side. The physical contact is nice, even nicer than normal, and it helps more than anything. Lance isn’t really sure how to deal with the weight of what they’re facing but being beside Keith helps. He guesses that’s all that matters for now.

A long while later, Keith turns his head and presses his lips against Lance’s forehead, a ghostly, not-really-there kiss. It’s slow, soft, and it surprises Lance so much that his breath catches in his chest at the gesture.

Keith’s voice is so low that it’s almost hard to hear when he murmurs, “I’m right beside you. I’m with you.”

Tears prick his eyes, and Lance closes them, nodding into Keith’s shoulder, unable to reply.

They sit together for an unmeasurable amount of time. Lance isn’t sure how much of it passes, but he also doesn’t care. He just—needed this more than he realized. The bond between him and Keith is always so intense, more intense than anything Lance has ever felt before, but it’s also so, so comforting.

It feels like home, like belonging to someone.

Keith doesn’t move away. He stays on the floor with him, wrapped around Lance like it’s the entire point of his existence. He’s warm, and for the time they spend sitting with each other, everything feels like it’s going to be alright.

Later, Allura and Pidge are the ones that find them on the training deck, still curled together on the floor, Lance’s head resting on Keith’s shoulder and Keith’s arms cradling Lance, holding him, keeping him safe.

“Found them!”

Pidge’s exclamation echoing over the otherwise empty training deck is what finally snaps Lance out of the soft moment he shares with Keith. He jumps in surprise, curling further into Keith’s shoulder, and feels Keith’s hand smooth down his back one more time.

Allura appears over him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth pressed into a weird line. She looks between them before she finally settles on Lance and asks, “What’s going on?”

Lance reaches out and pats Keith’s chest, realizing that his oh-so-wonderful copilot still isn’t wearing a shirt. It’s great for Lance, but more than a little incriminating now that they’ve been caught wrapped around each other on the training deck like a set of freshmen pilots who can’t handle the bond or tension it creates.

Okay, Lance will admit that the description is perfectly accurate for him and Keith right now, but it’s not like he’s going to agree to that aloud. 

“Um,” Keith stammers.

Lance rolls his eyes and says, “Keith needed a break while we were training.”

Allura’s expression is still serious, but Lance can see in her eyes that she’s about to start smiling, that she sees through him one hundred percent. She probably knows exactly what happened earlier, especially since she’s the only other person on the face of the Earth who really knows how bad he has it for Keith right now.

“Because that totally makes sense,” Pidge says, peering over them too. Her eyes are wide, but she’s smirking at them, like she’s gotten enough information from Allura to piece together this whole situation.

“Both of you: shut up.”

Keith laughs at Lance’s words and rolls to his feet in one fluid motion, like he hasn’t been sitting on the floor for the entire morning. Lance scowls at him and ignores the hand he offers to help him up.

“What are you guys up to?” Keith asks, running a hand through his hair. Lance purposefully avoids looking at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Keith’s biceps flex.

God. What the hell is he supposed to do now?

“We received a call from Hunk,” Allura says, expression finally shifting to a smile

Lance looks to her eagerly, wondering if she’s about to confirm what he’s thinking.

Pidge nods excitedly, jumping in place when she exclaims, “She’s finished!”

“That’s great!” Lance agrees. “Are you going to see her now?”

“Hunk sent us to collect you two first,” Allura says.

Lance pauses and turns to look at Keith, who’s also smiling a little.

“Renegade is finished too?” Keith asks, voice hesitant.

Pidge nods again. Lance can almost _feel_ the excitement rolling off of her. She’s still jumping in place, and when she notices him looking at her, she throws her elbow into his side and says, “Let’s go already!”

Allura laughs, the sound delighted, and Lance finds himself smiling. Their Jaegers are finished.

It might be one step closer to war, but for now, it’s something he’s been dreaming about since he and Keith coined her name.

Keith steps past Lance, bare chest brushing Lance’s arm, as he heads over to the bench to grab his tank and slide back into his boots. Lance watches him, _stares_ is probably more accurate, until Pidge shoves him again, shaking him out of it.

“Okay,” Lance rolls his eyes, feeling a blush work his way up his face. “Let’s go.”

;;

When they get to the top level of the Shatterdome, Hunk is waiting on them, clipboard in hand.

He smiles as soon as the elevator doors open, and Lance is reminded of the time they spent together at the Garrison. Hunk has always wanted to build Jaegers, and he’s become the best engineer in the PPDC and the world. Looking at him, it makes Lance a little emotional, knowing that he’s the one who built Renegade Dawn from nothing.

Her name reminds him why they’re here. He reaches back for Keith and brushes their hands together, just once.

Hunk grins, “Ready to meet your Jaegers?”

Pidge jumps up again, nodding excitedly, and Allura laughs, the sound loud, happy. Lance smiles wide, eyes shifting from them back to Keith, like he’s a fucking magnet. He’s the only thing Lance can even look at anymore.

Hunk catches his attention, thankfully, when he holds out four new dog tags, and Lance feels his heart stutter in his chest. He says something as he passes Allura and Pidge theirs, but Lance is too distracted by the thought of getting another dog tag. This is real. Renegade Dawn is ready.

Hunk moves closer, stopping right in front of Lance and Keith and presenting them with the two flat pieces of metal.

“I had enough of Sunshine Riptide left to mix with another piece of metal that I found housed at the Shatterdome,” Hunk says, a soft expression on his face as he looks between them, “from Black Paladin.”

Lance feels tears crawl to his eyes, and he doesn’t dare look to Keith right now. He knows that he’d be an absolute _mess._ He just—they’re going to be able to carry a piece of both Sunshine Riptide and Black Paladin with them.

“Thank you, Hunk,” Keith’s voice is deep, raw, and Lance nods as they both reach out for their dog tags.

Hunk’s expression softens even more, and he smiles, “Yeah, of course, guys. Come meet her when you’re ready.”

With a squeeze to Lance’s shoulder and another smile, he waves Pidge and Allura forward, and they disappear around the corner of the hallway into the heart of the Shatterdome’s bay where the Jaegers stand.

Lance looks down to his new dog tag to the small piece of Sunshine Riptide and Black Paladin in his hands and reads the engraved writing.

On the first side, in capital letters, is _Renegade Dawn_ , and when Lance flips the small piece over, he reads _Ranger Kogane and Ranger Sanchez._

When Lance looks up, he watches Keith slide their new dog tag onto his other set, where his original dog tag for Black Paladin rests.

Lance’s hands shake a little as he repeats the motion and string Renegade Dawn’s dog tag onto the chain with his others.

Keith is staring at him when he looks up again, and his dark eyes are heavy and intense. Lance can’t help but think about Keith’s last Jaeger, about all the things Keith has dealt with and faced in the past. After all, the last time Keith had been in a full Jaeger, he lost Shiro and then had to fight the Kaiju by himself. Lance would be—he wouldn’t be able to do this at all if their roles were reversed.

When Keith doesn’t say anything, Lance steps in close to him, right to his shoulder and murmurs, repeating Keith’s earlier words back to him, “I’m with you.”

Keith lets out a shaky breath and nods.

A few seconds pass, and Lance starts to feel excitement settle into his chest. Renegade Dawn is waiting on them. Their new Jaeger is finished, and she’s right around the corner, waiting.

“Ready?” Lance asks, biting back a smile.

Keith nods once, steeling himself, “Let’s do this.”

They start forward together.

The top level of the Shatterdome is crowded today. Engineers, technicians, and soldiers move about the level, putting supplies together and prepping for the inevitability of the next mission, the next attack. There’s also a crowd of people just standing and looking up at the Jaegers.

Lance keeps his eyes on the floor until they get back to Hunk’s side. He looks over to his best friend first, who’s grinning, and on his other side, he hears Keith let out a rough breath.

Finally, he looks up.

She looks completely different now that she’s standing on her own and not being held up by building support. At 260 feet tall, Renegade Dawn is taller than both Sunshine Riptide and Black Paladin by only 10 feet. Her core nuclear reactor is red, and it shines through the fans that circulate around it, which ultimately power the Jaeger. There are sleek, red pin stripes up her arms and legs, and the shield on her helmet is tinted red as well, which is a perfect match to their drivesuits. Renegade is tall, but not bulky, sleek but not skimpy. Her armor plates are dark navy and heavy.

Lance has read over her statistics multiple times every day since Hunk finalized it. He knows everything about her.

But—it’s different, seeing her finished for the first time.

He and Keith start forward at the exact same moment without a word between them. They cross the distance between them and their Jaeger and come to stop at her feet.

Lance reaches out and carefully touches the metal at the base of her foot. He feels so horribly small in comparison.

When he looks up to Keith, he’s smiling.

“Hey,” Lance says, breathing a laugh. He can’t believe they’re standing in front of their Jaeger.

“Hey,” Keith breathes back.

Lance doesn’t know what else to say. Instead, he just grins and looks back up to Renegade Dawn.

;;

Once they’ve managed to step back from Renegade Dawn, Hunk waves them over to where he, Allura, and Pidge are standing together. Coran has joined them, and he’s smiling too, even though his eyes look heavy. His hands are tucked behind his back, and he nods to them as they approach.

“Rangers,” he greets them, looking up at the Jaegers. “An exciting day for you all.”

“Can we do a drift trial? Can we take her outside?” Pidge asks excitedly, turning back to look over at Victory Pallas.

Lance laughs and looks at Allura, who’s smiling more than she has in weeks.

“I’m afraid not, Pidge,” Coran says, glancing over them. “While both Victory Pallas and Renegade Dawn are completed and ready for combat, we still haven’t finished Crystal Venom’s repairs from battle. We can’t risk taking the Jaegers out before a deployment in the event that something goes wrong.”

Hunk picks up from there as he explains, “But it won’t be a dry deployment. I know we usually send Jaegers out for full diagnostic runs before we approve them for deployments, but we don’t have that luxury right now. We’ve run all the tests that we can, and we’ve done drift trials with both of you already. Now, we need to focus on Crystal Venom and hope for the best.”

“Do they have a projection for when the next breach will occur?” Lance asks.

The look that Coran gives him doesn’t inspire much hope.

“Our team is projecting an attack in the imminent future,” Coran’s voice is reluctant but strong, no-nonsense. “Hunk’s engineers are working around the clock to repair Crystal Venom in the event of a breach.”

Allura leans forward, ponytail swishing behind her head, “And we’re preparing for the final mission in the meantime? The next attack will be when we go to the breach?”

“Yes, Allura,” Coran says with another nod. “We have people prepping the bomb that Victory Pallas will carry to the breach for the drop. In just a few days, we will be ready to execute the mission at the next Kaiju attack.”

“And if it happens before then?” Keith asks, crossing his arms over his chest. When Lance looks back at him, his face is careful, neutral, like he’s not impressed with the mission they’ve mandated. Lance knows that he’ll follow orders, but it makes him wary that Keith seems resistant to this idea.

Coran sighs, “We have to hope it doesn’t, I’m afraid.”

Keith snorts, “That’s never worked out so well for us.”

No one replies, mostly because Keith is right. Around them, the Shatterdome is full of the sounds of war, the sounds that have become completely familiar to Lance since he joined up when he was a teenager. The Jaegers stand tall above them, unflinching.

Lance isn’t sure what possesses him to do it, but he nods and says, “We can do it. We have to.”

Coran smiles a little, nodding to him again, “That’s the spirit, Lance. We won’t know when it will be time for the mission, so the best that you four can do is to keep training and get plenty of rest. I’m afraid it won’t be long until this falls to your shoulders.”

It’s an ominous warning, one that Lance knows Coran means. It’s evident in his voice that he wishes it were different, that he would give anything to pilot alongside them, but he’s right. This is going to be their job. Saving the world is on them. Hunk has built the Jaegers, Coran has designed the plan, and it’s their turn to carry it out and end this once and for all.

Still, it’s difficult to process.

Coran leaves, heading out for another meeting, and Hunk congratulates them on their Jaegers again before he’s called away to oversee more of the repairs for Crystal Venom. It leaves the four of them there, standing in the middle of the Shatterdome, staring at their Jaegers.

Allura is the one to suggest they go down to the training deck before lunch for some meditation.

They get in a few more hours of training, which is good. After seeing their Jaeger, somehow, his and Keith’s bond feels even more real. On the training deck, it’s easy to approach and deal with, but even when they leave and head out for lunch and then throughout the rest of the afternoon, it’s almost too much. Keith must feel it too. He stays close to Lance’s shoulder, and he’s oddly quiet for the rest of the afternoon, which isn’t inherently unusual for him, Lance guesses.

It’s the soft sort of quiet though. Keith keeps looking at him, keeps brushing his hands over Lance’s shoulders and sides, like he can’t handle the distance between them, like he’s dying to get back in the drift with the knowledge that their Jaeger is finished.

Lance feels it too, and he spends the rest of the day leaning right back into Keith.

;;

He wakes up from the nightmare clawing at his throat and feeling like he can’t breathe.

Kaiju faces take up his vision for the first few seconds that he’s awake as he tries to blink them away and get out of the nightmare. It’s the third one of the night, and all three have featured him and Keith going down in Renegade Dawn at the hands of a Kaiju.

Lance is no stranger to nightmares. As a Jaeger pilot, he has them constantly. He’s even had them since he was a child, since he watched his dad and sister be taken away from him. Usually, he’s fairly good about waking up and forgetting them. He meditates on them and then lets go, and he gets back to sleep, sometimes undisturbed, sometimes not.

His process hasn’t been working tonight though. These are just—more vicious than normal.

When he’s caught his breath and wiped away the tears, he stumbles out of bed and into his boots. He’s not staying here for the rest of the night and struggling through these nightmares by himself. He won’t do it.

He guesses he could go to Allura. She’s always been very good at handling his nightmares, almost expecting him to crawl into bed with her at the mere mention of a bad dream. It worked both ways for them, and just having the comfort of their co-pilot near them was usually enough to chase away the rest of the nightmares.

But… Allura isn’t his co-pilot now. It probably wouldn’t be the same.

Besides, the lines between them are blurred enough. Lance misses Allura so much that it hurts most days, but it’s important for them to try to distance themselves as they work on the new bonds with both Keith and Pidge. She will always be one of the most important people in his life, hands down, but now…

Now he has Keith too.

He opens the door to his room and steps outside, wincing at the bright fluorescents. He turns and heads for Keith’s room, which is only a few down from his own.

When he knocks, there’s no answer.

He sighs and turns back.

Lance spends the better part of fifteen minutes searching for Keith. He’s so tired that he can’t really think straight, and he’s honestly not sure where Keith could go at this time of night. They had seen Renegade Dawn early this morning, so it didn’t make sense for him to be there, and there wouldn’t be much activity on the training deck at this point. Without Lance to train with, there wouldn’t be anything else to do anyway.

He’s walking aimlessly through the halls when he finally hears his name.

“Lance?”

The familiar voice makes him stop in his tracks. When he looks back over his shoulder, he sees Keith standing in the middle of the hallway. He’s still in his fatigues and boots, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail with some of the black strands falling around his face. He looks like he hasn’t even gone to bed yet.

“Hi,” Lance says, suddenly aware that he’s in his pajamas.

“Hi,” Keith frowns, drifting closer, looking him up and down. “What are you doing up?”

“What are _you_ doing up?”

Keith’s frown deepens, “I don’t go to sleep until after midnight usually.”

“Breakfast is at 0500 hours!”

“I don’t sleep much,” Keith replies, and he’s only a few steps away now. “You though, you need eight or nine hours of sleep every night just to be able to function the next morning.”

Lance scoffs, “Do not.”

“You were talking about your beauty sleep earlier at lunch, Lance.”

Damn. Keith’s right. How does he know so much about him? The answer slaps him in the face not even a millisecond later; Keith is his co-pilot. He literally knows _everything_ about Lance.

So, no lying then. Not that he had really been planning to in the first place, he guesses.

“Why are you awake?” Keith asks, and his voice shifts, concerned. “And where were you going?”

He sighs, biting his lip and looking away. He says, “Nightmares. I was just…”

Keith puts it together before he has to say it aloud, “Oh, I wasn’t in my room. Sorry.”

Lance shrugs, staring down at the ground. Earlier on the training deck Keith had helped him feel less… overwhelmed, scared.

“Hey,” Keith’s voice is softer, and somehow, he’s standing right in front of Lance now, ducking his head a little to try and meet Lance’s gaze.

“Hey,” Lance murmurs again.

A hand settles on his shoulder, and Lance finally looks up to Keith. His eyes are dark, intense, but also soft.

“You need to sleep,” Keith replies in that same, soft voice that has Lance suppressing a shiver.

He shakes his head, “I don’t think I can.”

“Why were you looking for me?”

Another shrug from Lance, “I just… This morning made me feel better.”

“What did?”

“When we talked,” Lance’s voice is low, but he holds Keith’s gaze. “Earlier, in training. Talking to you always makes me feel better. I don’t think I can go back to sleep.”

Keith is quiet for a long second, and the Shatterdome hums around them. This part of the base is empty at this time of night, but there are plenty of other sections and soldiers that work throughout the night. If Lance hadn’t found Keith so soon, he was going to go up to the docking bay and listen to the mechanics and engineers work on the Jaegers. With Crystal Venom’s major repairs just being finished up late this afternoon, there would be engineers up all night finishing the touch-ups. It would have been loud enough to distract him for a long time, maybe even lull him to sleep eventually.

He could still go there, he guesses.

“C’mon.”

Lance blinks. He doesn’t want to go back to his room alone, doesn’t think he can. He murmurs, “Where?”

“To my room. You need to sleep.”

Lance doesn’t reply, unsure what to say.

A few seconds later, Keith holds out his hand and says, “C’mon. Let’s go.”

He stares at Keith’s fingers for a long second until he nods and takes his hand.

Keith leads the way down the halls of the Shatterdome, and Lance trails half a step behind him, clutching his hand. They walk quietly, and their footsteps echo against the otherwise empty halls.

Neither of them speaks until they reach Keith’s room. It’s only a few rooms away from Lance’s own, but it still feels strange to walk past his own door instead of stopping there. He doesn’t think he’s ever been inside Keith’s room before. Keith is always waiting for him in the morning, so tonight was the first night Lance had ever tried to find him there anyway.

Keith leads him into the room. It’s dark; Keith has left on the reserve lights that are mounted on the wall, which illuminates the room in a soft blue. He doesn’t move to turn on the overhead fluorescent lights. Instead, he guides Lance over to his bed and motions for him to sit.

“Let me change,” Keith murmurs, pulling his hand out of Lance’s grip. He averts his gaze while Keith changes from his fatigues and boots into a pair of sweatpants.

Lance toes out of his boots and pulls his legs up to his chest, crossing his arms over his knees.

A moment later, Keith sits down on the edge of the bed beside him. He’s close enough that they’re not touching, but Lance can feel the heat radiating off his body.

“Do you think you can sleep?” Keith’s voice is still the same as before, soft, low, wonderful. It makes Lance want to do a lot more than sleep.

But—he’s exhausted. He’s tired from training all day, and he’s tired of being terrified of the nightmares.

Lance shrugs.

A second later, Keith asks, “Do you think you can try?”

He bites his lip, then nods.

Keith wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him back onto the bed. They shuffle into more comfortable positions, Keith laying on his back, pulling Lance into his side, and tugging the sheets up over them. He isn’t wearing a shirt, just like this morning, and Lance presses along the side of him, nestling his head on Keith’s chest, right over his heart.

It’s quiet for a long, long moment. Keith doesn’t say anything else. Instead, his hand smooths up and down Lance’s back, soft, comforting. He reaches for Lance’s hand with his empty one, tangling their fingers together and resting them against his chest.

“Is this okay?”

Lance nods. The heavy feeling in his chest is starting to ease. He was right this morning; just being beside Keith makes everything better.

Eventually, Keith says, “You’re the best Jaeger pilot I’ve ever seen.”

“What?” Lance frowns, wondering where the hell this has come from.

Keith’s hand smooths up his back, and the motion would have put him to sleep if Keith wasn’t telling him this now. Lance feels him nod when he continues, “Yeah. You’re so brave and strong, and I just… when we’re drifting together, when I feel you in the connection with me, it’s like it’s nothing. That’s how easy it is for me, for us, and it’s not because of our drift compatibility, it’s because of _you_.”

He doesn’t reply. In fact, he doesn’t even know what to _say._ This seems like it’s coming out of nowhere. Why is Keith saying this now?

Finally, he says, “You don’t know that.”

“I do. It’s true.”

Lance doesn’t say anything. Instead, he stares at the long, pale line of Keith’s neck.

Keith continues casually, like he’s talking about the weather instead of praising Lance and making these outrageous, crazy claims. He says, “I wouldn’t be half the pilot that I am if it weren’t for you. There’s no one else I could ever pilot another Jaeger with, not anyone in the entire universe. And then, even when it’s you and me and we’re about to drift together and I’m scared as hell, the only reason I can fucking _move_ is because you’re there with me.”

There’s something that makes the statement a hundred times more intimate by not being able to see Keith’s eyes as he says it, by instead hearing the thrum of his voice and feeling the vibration of his chest where his head is resting against Keith’s chest. His words go straight to Lance’s heart, and the tears that he’s been fighting since he woke up this morning finally well in his eyes.

Keith must be watching him because as soon as they drip onto his cheeks, he gently swipes them away.

Like it wasn’t enough before, Keith continues, “After Black Paladin, after Shiro… I never wanted to step foot into another Jaeger again. I never thought that I would be able to drift with anybody else because of what happened. Even now, every time we drift I know you feel it, what it was like to lose Shiro, to lose a copilot. I hate that you know that feeling. I absolutely hate it.

“But you never act like it’s a burden or even a problem,” Keith gently brushes his hand over the back of Lance’s neck, and he suppresses a shiver at the motion. “Even when I get lost in the drift, I’m never afraid to come back because I know you’re there waiting on me. You’re so strong and good and amazing, and you have no fucking idea what you mean to me.”

Lance turns his face farther into Keith’s shoulder and stays there, muffling his sobs, trying to stop his tears. Because what Keith has just said… there aren’t any words to describe what it means to Lance.

A few long moments pass, and Keith stays quiet, holding him, keeping him safe.

Sometime later, after Lance has dried most of his tears, Keith speaks again. He says, “You’re everything to me, Lance. You’re the only reason that I’m here. I’ve been difficult and horrible to deal with, and that never stopped you from training and working hard and wanting to make it work with us. I can’t thank you enough for that. Before this, there were days where the only thing that I could hear were Shiro’s screams or the only thing I could see was the face of the Kaiju that took him away. You brought me back. You did, not anybody or anything else. Just you.”

Lance’s lip trembles, and the only thing he can think to say is, “Not true.”

“Agree to disagree then,” Keith counters, voice soft, and Lance thinks he can hear a smile in it. “I said all of that to tell you that it’s okay to be heavy some days. It’s okay for it to be rough and hard sometimes because we have a really fucking difficult job ahead of us. It’s all okay as long as you tell me. You’ve been making everything so easy for me, and it’s my turn to take care of you. I can handle today and however many more days you need, so just give it all to me, okay?”

Lance doesn’t have the ability to say anything, so he nods, and they fall into silence again.

A moment later, Lance murmurs, “Keith?”

“Yeah?”

Lance thinks about what he should say, how he could even phrase what he’s feeling right now. He doesn’t think there are any fucking _words_ to tell Keith what all of this means to him, what having Keith here with him has done.

Finally, he says, “You mean everything to me too.”

;;

The next morning, Lance wakes up tangled in Keith’s arm, head on Keith’s chest, and Keith clutching him like he’s the most important thing in the universe, even when he’s sleeping.

_You’re the best Jaeger pilot I’ve ever seen._

He feels warm just thinking about it. Hearing Keith talk to him like that, reaffirming him when he’s terrified, telling him what he means to him… he hadn’t expected to go there with Keith right now, hadn’t really even thought about how tired he was from all of this for himself. Keith had just known. He’d just understood everything that Lance was feeling and hadn’t offered anything to him except comfort.

It was enough to make Lance wonder. If they were like this now, what was the future going to be like? If they survived this war, what would happen then?

Keith shifts, and when Lance peeks up at his face, Keith is already blinking his eyes open and turning his chin down to look at him.

“Morning,” Keith says, voice deep and low.

Lance hums and closes his eyes again, “Morning.”

Keith yawns and shifts underneath him, stretching out before settling back down around Lance. He’s incredibly warm.

“Feeling better?” Keith asks after a moment.

He nods, finding that yeah, he is feeling a lot better. Maybe he’s not back to one hundred percent yet, but there’s a good chance that he never will be. War leaves marks on soldiers. This could be one of Lance’s.

But the main difference from yesterday? Lance feels like he’s ready to face anything. It might be stupidly cliché, but with Keith by his side, he’s not afraid of anything.

“Yeah,” he says, nodding again. “I feel a lot better. Thanks.”

“I’m your co-pilot. It’s my job.”

Something about the statement sounds stilted to Lance, but it could just be his own ears. Instead of letting it fester, he tilts his head back and looks up to Keith. He says, “You don’t always have to be my co-pilot. You can be my friend too.”

Keith pauses, and then, his eyes soften. One of his hands drags up Lance’s back underneath his shirt, and his voice is deep when he says, “You’re my best friend.”

“Hunk is my best friend, sorry, buddy.”

There’s a pause, and then, Keith barks a laugh, loud, surprised.

Lance grins, rolling over so he’s completely on top of Keith’s chest, ducking his head into Keith’s neck. Keith is laughing underneath him, and the sound warms Lance’s heart.

“You’re my best friend too,” he says then, voice soft, setting one of his hands on Keith’s chest right over his heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Marshall,” Lance calls, voice steady, strong, the rage in his chest bubbling up to keep him that way. “Deploy Renegade Dawn. We’re ready.”
> 
> Coran spins around, expression furious, “I said no, Ranger. We need Renegade Dawn for the future mission. We cannot risk the fate of the world on this deployment today.”
> 
> Keith speaks before Lance can reply, and his voice is deadly calm, intensely serious as he says, “The world needs to be saved right now. There won’t be a tomorrow if we don’t stop this Kaiju today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's your second chapter for today! I'll be back on Sunday with Chapter 11. Let me know what y'all think! 
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic or anything else, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative 
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

When Lance thinks about it, he realizes that something about their bond has shifted. After spending all night tucked into Keith’s arms, listening to him, talking with him, everything feels different. It feels more tense, but at the same time, more settled. They feel solid, steady, in ways that they haven’t before unless they’re in the drift together.

It’s addicting. Lance doesn’t know how he’s supposed to even function with (or without, if he’s being honest) Keith at his side anymore. He feels like a set of rookie pilots who are just figuring out what the drift is and coming off the high of knowing someone down to their fucking soul. He’s a veteran pilot; he should know how to navigate the intensity of the bond, but with Keith, every bit of training he’s ever had flies right out of the window.

He knows that Keith feels the same way.

Now, Lance and Keith walk to breakfast together, after they’ve managed to get out of bed. Lance dips back into his room to change into his fatigues, and when he opens the door, Keith is there already, waiting on him and smiling softly.

The walk to breakfast is different from every other morning. Today, Lance and Keith are both quiet on the walk, content in each other’s presences. Lance stays close enough that their shoulders brush with every step they take.

When they get to the cafeteria, they grab their rations and head over to their table. Pidge, Allura, and Hunk are already seated, Pidge sipping her coffee and Allura trying to blink herself awake. Hunk is talking rapidly, smiling about something already, motioning to the blueprints he has spread out over the table. Lance and Keith sit down with them, Lance murmuring a soft good morning to the others, and Keith tucks into his food without prompting.

Allura glares at him, still groggy from sleep, “Why are you so chipper this morning?”

Lance bites back a smile, “No reason.”

She rolls her eyes, “Sure, weirdo.”

Pidge snorts into her coffee, and Hunk laughs, outright. He starts to claim that they’re making fun of him for no reason, that maybe they should tease Keith about it too, but when he glances over at his co-pilot, his new best friend too, Keith is hiding a smile behind his cup as he takes a sip of water.

“Good news!” Hunk starts, pointing to his blueprints again. “All of Crystal Venom’s final repairs were finished last night, so she’s ready to go. Now, we’re putting full attention back onto the bomb and its installation, which Victory Pallas will carry to the breach.”

“And how long will that take?” Keith asks, voice still rough from sleep. Lance suppresses the shiver that tries to sneak up his spine.

Hunk knocks his fist against the table, “Two, maybe three days. Victory Pallas will be outfitted with the nuke, and Renegade Dawn and Crystal Venom will escort her down to the breach to drop the bomb.”

Keith nods and goes back to his food.

As if the universe is listening to their conversation, the war alarm sounds just as they finish breakfast.

Lance turns to look at Keith immediately, meeting his gaze for one, two, three seconds before standing.

The Shatterdome mobilizes around them, soldiers standing and rushing to their stations.

Lance holds Keith’s gaze and waits for the announcement that he knows is coming.

“Crystal Venom Rangers, report to your docking bay for deployment,” Coran’s voice booms through the speakers in the cafeteria.

Wait… _what?_

Keith’s face morphs from confusion to outrage in less than a second, and then, Allura is standing as well, and when Lance turns to look at her, she’s just as confused, almost as angry.

Why aren’t they being deployed? If there was a breach, then why aren’t they being sent out to deal with the Kaiju? Renegade Dawn has been hailed as the most powerful Jaeger yet, so why isn’t Coran sending them out?

Hunk gathers his blueprints and nods to them, breaking off for Central Command. Lance watches as Rolo and Nyma make their way through the crowd, heading for their Jaeger and nodding to the four of them as they pass hurriedly.

“We’re not just standing here and waiting, are we?” Pidge asks, voice shaking.

“Fuck no,” Keith is the first one to reply, and he meets Lance’s gaze again, all fire. “We’re going.”

;;

They race to Central Command. When they arrive, Hunk is already seated at the front desk, prepping Crystal Venom for her deployment. Coran is standing in the middle of the room, behind Hunk, overseeing the progress of the deployment. Rolo and Nyma will have made it to the docking bay to get in their drivesuits and prepare for their deployment by now.

Hunk is already giving a status update when they enter the room. He says, “Breach opening. It looks like one Kaiju is coming through, no reading on the category yet.”

“Projected direction?” Coran asks.

Hunk shakes his head, “Hopefully south, but nothing definitive.”

“Prepare the choppers for transport anyway,” Coran orders, hands clutched behind his back.

Lance, Keith, Allura, and Pidge make their way to the front of the room, the other soldiers and staff parting for them, making room for them in Central Command. It’s one of the best perks of being a veteran Jaeger pilot, if he’s being honest.

It’s the last thing he’s thinking about right now though. The only thought that’s really running through his mind right now is the deployment.

“Marshall,” Keith calls, and Coran turns back to look at them.

“What are you doing?” Lance’s anger takes over, and the question is coming out of his mouth before he can stop it, before Keith or anyone else can even start. “Crystal Venom’s repairs were just finished.”

Coran doesn’t respond to his anger. Instead, he nods, “Crystal Venom is our best bet against this Kaiju.”

“Your best bet is Renegade Dawn!” Lance argues vehemently. “Or Victory Pallas! We’re ready!”

“I know you’re eager to prove yourself in your new Jaegers,” Coran explains, “but we cannot risk the future of the world for one Kaiju. The next mission is bigger than this deployment.”

Before Lance can continue the argument, Hunk leans over his shoulder and says, “Marshall, we’ve got a reading. Kaiju Category 5, codename Leatherback.”

Hunk’s voice doesn’t waiver over the category, but everyone else in the room pauses. It’s the first category 5 to come through the breach. Ever.

“You have to send us out as backup,” Lance starts, picking his argument back up in the pause. “Crystal Venom won’t be enough to take on the Cat 5. You know that.”

Coran doesn’t reply. Instead, he turns back to Hunk. He says, “Do we have any sort of projection on Leatherback’s target direction yet?”

“Still circling the breach, but it looks like it’s closed behind it. For now, it’s just Leatherback,” Hunk explains, viciously typing at the keyboards of his control panel. “Docking Bay 6, are pilots on deck yet?”

“Pilots 1 and 2 on deck and dressing down now,” another voice comes back through the speakers, confirming Rolo and Nyma’s location on their docking bay. Now, they’ll be outfitted in their drivesuits and prepped for deployment before crossing the bridge and loading into their Jaeger.

“Copy that,” Hunk says into the radio at the control panel. “Coran, we’ve got the choppers preparing for transport if we need it. Leatherback is heading south for now, still deep in the trench. When we see breakaway movement, we’ll know more about where we should send the transport. If the Kaiju doesn’t come to Hong Kong, then we’ll have to go out and meet it.”

Coran nods and stops one of his advisors, “Get a team together and devise a plan to lure this Kaiju to our location if at all possible. Now.”

The advisor nods and steps away, disappearing into the crowd of other people working in Central Command.

A few tense moments pass before Rolo and Nyma are loaded into their Jaeger and connected in the drift. It’s odd to be watching this again, Lance thinks. This is the second time that he’s watched another Jaeger be deployed instead of him and his co-pilot. It’s not a good feeling, knowing that someone else is going out to fight the Kaiju instead of him. That’s the whole reason he became a Jaeger pilot, so he could fight the Kaiju himself, so he could right past wrongs _himself._

He doesn’t want to stand here and watch while someone else risks their lives to do it for him.

Rolo’s voice comes through the speakers at Hunk’s control panel then, “Crystal Venom, locked and loaded, Marshall.”

“Ready to take this bastard down,” Nyma pitches in, voice smug.

Coran walks forward to stand at Hunk’s side, “Crystal Venom, be advised, we’re preparing transport to take you to open ocean at which point, you’ll engage with Leatherback, Cat 5. Is that clear?”

“All clear, boss,” Rolo agrees.

“Leatherback has broken from the trench, headed directly for us,” Hunk calls. “Whatever your team did, Marshall, it’s working.”

Coran nods, “Okay, great. Let’s get Crystal Venom out there now.”

They roll Crystal Venom out of the Shatterdome and another team of soldiers makes the drop to hook the Jaeger to the four choppers to transport them. Even though the Kaiju is making its way toward Hong Kong, it will be safer to engage in battle in the ocean without risking civilian lives.

Lance feels like he holds his breath while Crystal Venom is being prepped and then transported away from the Shatterdome and out to sea to meet the Kaiju. He’s almost completely frozen, watching the aerial footage of the transport and the tracking beacon on Leatherback that appears on Hunk’s console.

Keith brushes his hand against the back of Lance’s, where it’s fisted at his side. The contact makes him feel a little better, and it at least reminds him to take a breath.

Keith is steady at his side.

Hunk breaks the very tense silence in Central Command as he explains Leatherback’s location. Coran orders Crystal Venom to be dropped from the transport, and the choppers move back, getting out of firing range as Rolo and Nyma walk their Jaeger forward.

“Crystal Venom, be advised, Leatherback approaching,” Hunk calls, voice deadly calm.

A few seconds pass where nothing happens. Lance reaches out and grabs Keith’s wrist just to have something to hold.

“Come on, you bastard,” Nyma hums. Crystal Venom’s fists are already up, watching, waiting.

On the screens playing the video feeds from the choppers, the ocean is calm, and the sky is bright. The sun is dawning over the horizon, and it would be a beautiful day except for the waiting war cry.

The calm ocean breaks with Leatherback’s attack.

It’s easily the biggest Kaiju Lance has ever seen before, and it looks like every nightmare he’s ever had before. Leatherback has two huge arms, and its head is large, pointed, black eyes set far apart. There are heavy spikes and ridges across its back and down its tail, its namesake probably, and when it stands up on its hind legs, it looms over the Jaeger.

It lets out a roar and attacks Crystal Venom.

Rolo and Nyma yell and throw themselves out of the way, barely dodging Leatherback’s attack. The punch they throw lands on Leatherback’s face, but it’s not enough to knock it off balance.

Instead, Leatherback rears back with one arm and grabs them by the shoulder, clenching down before throwing them backwards into the air.

Crystal Venom flies through the air and crashes into the ocean. Rolo and Nyma groan through their communication system as they get back to their feet, and then, without any warning, Leatherback tears through the distance between them and grabs their Jaeger.

“Launch missiles!” Nyma shouts. “NOW!”

They pull back, locking their missiles onto the Kaiju and firing at its face. 

Leatherback is too close, too big, for the missiles to target it correctly. The Kaiju knocks the projectiles out of the air and into the ocean and reaches forward, grabbing them around the middle and pulling them up out of the water.

“Missile systems have been compromised!” Rolo yells.

They struggle, punching and kicking at Leatherback, but it only clutches them tighter, crushing them around the middle, weakening the hull of the Jaeger in its grip.

“Crystal Venom, get out of there!” Coran shouts desperately, leaning over the control panel next to Hunk.

On screen, they watch as Leatherback crushes the Jaeger. Sparks fly, and the pilots scream.

Leatherback leans forward, rips Crystal Venom’s head clean off, and swallows it.

Lance tightens his grip on Keith.

It’s silent in Central Command as Leatherback drops what’s left of Crystal Venom into the ocean and disappears under the waves.

Coran slams his hand down onto the console of the control panel, and something about the action solidifies Lance’s resolve. He looks around the room and catches the shocked, terrified expressions of the other commanders and staff.

It won’t end like this. He won’t let it.

He looks over to Keith, who’s already staring back at him. His dark eyes are burning, and Lance can almost _see_ everything he’s feeling right now with how in sync they are.

“Marshall,” Lance calls, voice steady, strong, the rage in his chest bubbling up to keep him that way. “Deploy Renegade Dawn. We’re ready.”

Coran spins around, expression furious, “I said no, Ranger. We need Renegade Dawn for the future mission. We cannot risk the fate of the world on this deployment today.”

Keith speaks before Lance can reply, and his voice is deadly calm, intensely serious as he says, “The world needs to be saved right now. There won’t be a tomorrow if we don’t stop this Kaiju today.”

There’s a moment of hesitation from Coran before he glances over to Allura and Pidge. Then, he says, “Deploy Victory Pallas.”

Lance steps forward, and Keith moves with him. He says, “No. You deploy us. Now.”

“Ranger,” Coran’s eyes narrow, “I do not take orders from you.”

There isn’t time to worry about authority and rank, not here, not in the wake of another Jaeger’s destruction. They shouldn’t even be fighting about this now. Renegade Dawn is the best choice for his deployment. Lance and Keith are the best choice for this deployment. Coran _knows_ it.

Hunk clears his throat, “Marshall, we took Victory Pallas’ back plate off this morning to design the bomb carrier. Renegade Dawn is the only option.”

Hope surges in Lance’s chest.

Coran waits for a long second, staring at both him and Keith. Later, they’ll be reprimanded for this outburst, sure, but it won’t matter much once Leatherback is dead, once the world is safe again. 

“Deploy Renegade Dawn,” Coran says. “Rangers, get to your docking bay.”

“Yes, Marshall,” Lance and Keith speak at the same time, and then they both turn and make their way out of Central Command.

“Rangers,” Coran calls, voice booming.

They turn back to look at him in the same motion, like they’re already on the same page without even needing the drift.

“Do not forget what’s at stake,” Coran’s eyes are blazing, and his hands are folded behind his back. “Watch yourselves. The fate of the world depends on you.”

It’s a heavy warning, but it stirs the anger in Lance’s chest, riling him up.

Lance meets Keith’s gaze and sees everything he’s feeling reflected in his dark eyes.

Without another word, they turn and jog toward their docking bay.

;;

_I’m right here. I’m with you._

_You’re the best Jaeger pilot I’ve ever seen._

_You’re my best friend._

_You mean everything to me._

Lance takes a sharp breath and blinks his eyes open. Renegade Dawn’s cockpit is bathed in soft, red light. When he focuses, he can hear Hunk talking to them through the comms, and when Lance turns to look at Keith, his co-pilot is already staring back at him.

Keith’s voice is what Lance had been thinking of at the start of the neural connection.

Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith.

“Lance,” Keith murmurs his name now, looking at him through his helmet.

Lance sends a vague thought Keith’s way. Then, he shakes himself. They have a job to do.

“Impressive numbers,” Hunk is saying when he finally manages to focus. “Stronger than all your other drift trials so far, guys. Good work. Give me verbal confirmation that you’re alright.”

“All good,” Keith says, running a diagnostic test on his control panel.

Lance nods and does the same, “Me too. Let’s do this.”

“Prepare for drop.”

Renegade Dawn’s AI hums, counting down from ten to alert them to the drop. Once they’re connected with the rest of the live neurons throughout the Jaeger, they’ll be rolled out of the Shatterdome and set loose.

That’s almost what it feels like. He’s not sure if it’s coming from him or Keith, but there’s so much in the drift between them right now that he feels like they’re about to be let out of some kind of cage. It’s not exactly fear or adrenaline that’s pushing up in his chest at the thought, but it’s something close. 

The diagnostics finish just before they’re dropped down and connected to the rest of the Jaeger. Then, they’re being moved forward.

“Rangers,” Coran’s voice comes through the comm system as he says, “Leatherback is moving directly toward the city. You must intercept and engage before it reaches the Wall of Life in Hong Kong. Understood?”

“Copy,” Lance replies, itching to take control of Renegade Dawn, fighting to remain still and not jump the gun.

There’s so much in the drift between him and Keith. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget this feeling.

As the Shatterdome doors loom in front of them, as they get closer to the ocean, to the fight, Lance turns to look at Keith.

He knows he doesn’t need to say it aloud, but he does anyway. He murmurs, “I’m right here.”

Keith takes a breath, “Me too.”

The first step that they take in Renegade Dawn feels like both the start and end of something. Lance has never felt like this in a Jaeger before. The strength, the pure force that is behind Renegade Dawn is something that Lance has never had. Even the strength in the drift with Keith, the ease, the fire, the skill is both foreign and completely familiar to him.

When they first drifted together, when they first felt the bond between them, Lance thought that it felt like burning alive. Now, he realizes that it feels like being electrified and reinforced with steel. It’s stronger that anything he’s ever thought possible.

“You with me?” Keith asks the question aloud too, reeling him back into the present moment.

Lance blinks and nods once, “I’m with you.”

They move forward together, walking in time with each other through the waves. They make quick work of getting away from Hong Kong’s coast, and they head out farther into the ocean to meet the Kaiju.

“Leatherback is closing in on you,” Hunk warns them. “Prepare for attack.”

“Copy,” Lance replies and aims a smirk over at Keith. He’s always been cocky once he gets into a Jaeger, and he’d bet anything he owned that Keith was the same way back in Black Paladin.

Keith glances over at him at the thought, already fighting a smirk.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance says, mostly so everyone else will hear him. There’s really no point in talking to Keith aloud now that they’re in the drift, but Lance knows it’ll annoy him more, hearing the words through Lance’s voice instead of just his thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“You just gonna watch me take this bastard down or are you going to help?” Lance asks, grinning.

Keith rolls his eyes, “You know what, I might just take the day off if that’s cool with you.”

“Sure, babe,” Lance shrugs, winking.

“Alright, babe,” Keith mocks him, but even so, Lance gets caught up on the way that Keith’s voice sounds around the word _babe._

Keith breathes a laugh then, focusing in on that thought through the drift. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything else about it.

“Okay, focus, guys,” Hunk pleads, “Leatherback is right on top of you.”

The teasing mood disappears from the bond, and it’s back to that intense focus from before.

“Come on,” Keith mutters, scanning the waves in front of them.

A second later, there’s a spray of water, and the face of a Kaiju lurches up from beneath the waves straight at them.

Lance and Keith duck right, barely stepping out of the way and avoiding another strike from Leatherback. It barrels past them, whipping its tail out and catching them in the back, knocking them off balance.

They roll to their feet, straightening in time for the Kaiju to come at them again.

“Let’s go!” Lance shouts, and Keith is right there with him, pushing forward to meet the Kaiju head on.

They pull their fist back, targeting the Kaiju’s head, and Lance is surprised at Renegade Dawn’s speed and agility. It feels like he’s pulling at nothing as they swing their fist forward to meet the Kaiju’s face. It’s enough to knock Leatherback off balance, and for a second, Lance thinks they’ve got this.

Leatherback disappears below the waves, swimming out of their reach.

“Hunk, where’s this fucker going?” Lance asks, readjusting.

“It’s circling you, probably trying to gauge the best attack move,” Hunk replies. “It’s learning much faster than a Cat 3 or 4 Kaiju, so you need to end it fast.”

“Copy,” Keith says, looking over to Lance. “What do we have?”

Lance is already tapping at his control panel, flipping through their arsenal, depending on Keith to stand lookout and pull them out of harm’s way. He says, “Plasmacaster might do it.”

“Eyes up!” Keith shouts it even though he doesn’t need to, and they throw themselves forward to meet Leatherback when it jumps at them from underneath the water.

They grapple with it. Lance thought that it had looked huge back in the Shatterdome when they’d been watching through the chopper’s visual feed, but seeing it up close, almost has Lance shaking in his boots. The sheer size of volume of the Kaiju is just—indescribable. Hunk is right about it too; this one is much smarter than the others and it’s barely been seconds into the fight. They’re going to need to end this now, before it learns much more about them.

Leatherback lunges again, and this time, it gets ahold of their left arm, and Lance thinks _oh fuck._

Lance feels it in the drift before he sees Keith freeze.

There’s a flash of a memory, of another Jaeger cockpit, of Shiro’s voice saying, “Keith, listen to me—”

He’s in the middle of screaming Keith’s name when he stops moving, stilling completely on the gyro-stabilizers, arms tucked into his sides.

Lance wrestles with him in the drift, knowing that Keith is chasing the rabbit, that he’s going too far into his memories to come back. And Lance—Lance can’t go in after him because they’re standing in the middle of the ocean in a goddamn Jaeger staring straight at a Kaiju.

Sweat drips off his brow. Suddenly, everything feels like too much. His suit is too hot. He can feel Keith through the drift, feel him fighting the memory, the fear, the pain. If he listens hard enough he can even hear Keith screaming—

Lance yanks himself back to the bridge, to the connection he has with Keith. He has to get away from the edge. They’re going to get killed if he doesn’t do something.

He thinks he can hear Hunk and Coran shouting at him too, through their comms, but it’s the last thing he’s able to focus on right now.

“Keith!” he shouts again, praying that Keith might be able to hear him. Already, the weight of having to pilot on his own is crushing him. It is too much on the neural bridge. He needs Keith to help him before— “Keith, I need your help! Don’t do this!”

Keith doesn’t move.

Instead, Leatherback roars in front of them, opening its mouth and shooting a gob of Kaiju blue acid right toward them.

Lance throws his arms and body to the left, narrowly pulling them out of its way. He pumps his legs, walking forward through the water, and levels a punch to the Kaiju.

The fight is nasty, and it’s so much harder without Keith. Distantly, he can hear the comms and questioning from the Shatterdome as they try to figure out what’s going on, but Lance doesn’t have enough time to answer them. He doesn’t think he could talk to them even if he did.

Lance punches, kicks, dodges, dancing with Leatherback. It seems to last forever, even though logically he knows that it couldn’t be longer than a few minutes. Just as Lance is preparing the plasmacaster, the Kaiju rears back and hits them so hard that they fly backwards and crash into the water.

It’s a long enough break that Lance takes the time to reach out to Keith. He falls down into the memory right alongside him, keeping one hand on the bridge above, just high enough to keep the door open so they can get back _quickly._

He sees Keith standing in the wreckage of Black Paladin. Lance stands right behind him in the cockpit, and he’s seen this same memory what feels like hundreds of times. Keith thinks of it every single time they drift together. Just as Shiro turns to say something, the Kaiju rips through Shiro’s side and he’s gone. All of the pain, fear, sadness, hysteria, and anger tumbles down on Lance and Keith as Keith screams Shiro’s name. The neural bond in the memory crashes down onto Keith too, and it’s so similar to what Lance is feeling right now that both of them do a double take in the memory, and _there._

“Lance,” Keith gasps, looking up at him with tears in his dark eyes, and the memory falls apart.

“Hey, buddy,” he gasps, looking at himself through Keith’s eyes. They’re back in Renegade’s cockpit now, together, and he—it looks bad. There’s blood coming from his nose and—

“Rangers!” Hunk shouts through the comms, and Lance finally realizes that they’ve been dark for however long Keith was lost in the drift. “Sanchez! Kogane! Are you there?”

Lance swats at his control panel, and his hands shake with the motion. He swallows roughly, trying to blink away the dark spots at the edge of his vision. Through the drift, he can feel how worried Keith is. He’s staring.

“We’re here,” Lance coughs, clearing his throat and shaking his shoulders. He just needs to _focus._ He’s fine. He’s fine. “We’re fine. All good.”

“Kogane?”

Keith slams his hand onto his control panel, still staring at Lance, horror etched onto his face, “Good. Where’s the Kaiju.”

Anger takes over Keith’s voice so that it’s a statement, not a question.

“It’s headed toward the city and breaking through the Wall of Life now,” Hunk reports. “All citizens have been accounted for, and it’s safe to engage. Do you have any severe structural damage?”

Lance makes a noise under his breath as he checks over his control panel for any damage. It looks like everything is fine for now; they didn’t sustain much damage while Lance had been on defense earlier, and whey they took the hit that sent them flying, the Kaiju’s blow mostly landed on their reinforced chest plate and absorbed the shock of it before it damaged anything extensively.

“All good,” Lance replies, suppressing a groan at the sudden headache that flares up behind his eyes.

“Lance,” Keith says his name once, tone flat. The drift ripples between them.

“I’m fine,” he snaps, urging Keith to do something. They don’t have time for this. They need to go.

“Then let’s fucking go,” Keith growls in response, and they turn at the same time, running for the coastline. In the distance, Lance sees Leatherback tearing through the wall and disappearing into the city.

Hunk updates them on the Kaiju’s location as soon as they climb over the destroyed wall. On their way in as they cross over the docks, Keith zeroes in on a huge freight ship, one that is used to transport shipping containers and cargo into the city, that has been overturned in Leatherback’s wake. As they jog forward, they stop to pick it up, gripping it in their right hand and dragging it behind them.

The sunshine glints off the sharp, reflective buildings of the city, and Renegade Dawn walks forward, weaving through buildings and destroying the asphalt beneath them.

“I can’t see anything,” Lance comments, finally feeling more alert. Keith is awake, and he’s taken back half of the neural bridge’s weight. Now, Lance is ready to fight. He just wants to end this Kaiju and get back to base.

The drift is taunt between them, sparking with electricity.

“Straight ahead,” Keith starts, voice urgent, “that glint against the building, did you see it?”

Lance scans the area in front of them as they walk forward, tapping at his control panel to try and get a sense of where the Kaiju has gone. Hunk doesn’t have any updates for them, the choppers not having any visuals on it at all.

There’s a flash of fear in the drift, and Keith shouts, “Incoming!”

Lance looks up in time to see the mirrored building beside them ripple and then explode as Leatherback rips through the glass and steel to attack them.

They pull back, dodging out of the way and taking multiple steps back so that they have plenty of room while the Kaiju rights itself and roars.

“Let’s go!” Keith shouts, and together, they pull the freight ship up and behind their head, and when the Kaiju is in range, they swing at its face like they’re using a baseball bat.

The ship collides with the Kaiju and sends it sprawling into the next building, and Renegade Dawn presses forward, dropping the ship and going in with their fists to grapple with it.

Leatherback jumps up, and Lance and Keith hold on, pushing back against it desperately until it opens its mouth, bright Kaiju blue organ pulsing in its throat.

“Move, move, move!” Lance shouts, throwing them out of the way as the Kaiju shoots a gob of Kaiju blue right past them, completely melting away the building behind them as the substance comes into contact with the glass, steel, and metal.

“Oh, fuck,” Keith curses, eyes widening.

They stare for half a second before Leatherback opens its mouth and the organ pulsates again. In the same movement, Lance and Keith plunge their hand into its mouth, using their other hand to hold its jaw open.

It’s fast enough that it works. They get their hand around the organ in the Kaiju’s mouth and yank backwards, ripping it free from the Kaiju and tossing it to the side, thankfully stopping the Kaiju blue from shooting out of its mouth anymore.

Leatherback roars and launches itself forward.

“Left fist!” Keith shouts even though Lance is and has been on the same page with him for weeks now.

They deflect another attack from the Kaiju, gripping the other arm with their fist and twisting hard.

The Kaiju squeezes them tight in its grasp, crushing their hull.

Lance shouts, the pain too much suddenly. There’s a flicker of his own memories; once when he fell off his bike and cut his knee on the concrete. The pain isn’t the same until he sees his dad there the next second, smiling at him softly and picking him up to carry him back into the house to—

“Lance, hey, look at me,” Keith says, voice a little too breathless, pulling him back to the present. “You gotta help me. I blacked out and—we can do this. Help me through this fight, and I can get us back. Just—don’t leave me.”

He can hear the desperation in Keith’s voice, and when he looks over, his face is so open and bared to him that it makes Lance think they’re just doing drift tests back at the Shatterdome. It reminds him of the very first time they ever tried to drift together, back when they were eighteen and ready to prove themselves to the world. Back when they wanted nothing to do with each other, when they hated each other and everything around them because they weren’t compatible and couldn’t work together, not then.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lance grunts, shoving his left hand forward in perfect unison with Keith to strike a blow to the Kaiju’s face.

It lets them go, roaring in rage again, and they take the extra few seconds to turn away and run down the street in between the buildings.

There are almost too many thoughts in the drift for Lance to sift through at this point, but he latches onto Keith’s plan anyway, nodding to himself as he shuffles through their weapon arsenal as they run.

“Got it?” Keith asks aloud.

Lance powers up the plasmacaster in their left arm and nods again, “Ready when you are.”

He’s not sure if Keith says or thinks it, but the sharp _Now!_ rips through the space in the cockpit as they spin on their heels and kneel, coming up in a crouch underneath the Kaiju and plunging the ready plasmacaster into Leatherback’s stomach.

They catch the Kaiju at the perfect time. It roars again, so loudly that it shakes Renegade’s visor, and collapses on top of them. Lance and Keith roll backwards, the Kaiju following them to the ground, and with the extra momentum, Lance kicks up his legs against the gyrostabilizers, Keith echoing him, and they send the Category 5 Kaiju flying through the air behind them and crashing into another building.

The move makes Lance grin, wild and crazy at the thought of what they’ve done, how they’ve flipped the biggest Kaiju to exist right over them with only their legs like it was nothing.

It must have looked as cool as it felt too because even Hunk takes a spare second to excitedly shout, “Holy shit, guys!”

Lance and Keith roll back to their feet in Renegade, and when they’re standing again, Lance chances a look over to Keith, who’s already watching him, one eyebrow raised.

“I’ve always wanted to try that,” Lance admits, biting his lip.

Keith laughs, the sound echoing in the drift like fucking _bells_ , and the line of his mouth turns up into a grin, the kind that would make Lance’s knees weak if they had any extra time.

“Let’s finish this bastard off,” Keith says, still grinning, as they turn and break into a sprint, following the wreckage of the Kaiju where it has crashed into another building.

They rush the Kaiju, tackling it and sending another punch to its jaw and face. They grapple with it, trading blows like they’re in a fist fight, and Leatherback roars in anger, Kaiju blue leaking from the wound in its chest that they put there with the plasmacaster.

Lance is ready to go in with another punch with the plasmacaster, hopefully the last punch, when Leatherback lunges into them and knocks Renegade Dawn to the ground on their back, jumping on top of them and sinking the claws on its feet deep into their hull.

“Move back!” Keith shouts, desperately trying to pull them backward out of its grip while they grapple for a hold on the Kaiju’s legs. “Move back! We need to get vertical!”

It doesn’t work. Leatherback’s claws dig into them tighter, crushing the middle of their hull, and Lance feels the pain in his own body, like his ribs are splintering inside his chest. He bites back a scream at the feeling, knowing the sound of it will only torture Keith even though he’s feeling the exact same thing.

Suddenly, Leatherback roars and pulls its arms up into the skin over them, and Lance finds himself staring as a thick layer of sticky membrane falls from underneath its arms in the shape of—what looks like…

Wings.

Horror fills him when it flaps its arms, and wind catches under the skin, pulling them up off the ground. He’s never seen a Kaiju that can fly before.

Hunk and Coran’s shouts fill the cockpit, but Lance can only grit his teeth against the pain in his chest as Leatherback lifts off from the ground and into the sky, soaring through the city.

Leatherback slams them down into the ground, dragging them across the pavement, before ramming them into a building, completely leveling it.

Then, the ground disappears from beneath them.

“Keith!” Lance shouts, struggling to get a grip on _anything_ with the way they’re being jerked around on the gyrostabilizers right now. Lance can barely see straight at this point. “Keith! C’mon, give me an idea!”

Keith growls, and they throw a punch to the Kaiju. It lands hard against its face, but it doesn’t loosen its grip on them.

Through their visor, the city beneath them becomes smaller and smaller. If Lance had more time, he could see the destruction of the city, the damage that the Kaiju has caused, but now, the only thing he has time to note is how small it’s getting and how high and fast they’re travelling.

“Where is this bastard taking us?” Lance screams, hand slipping on his control panel with another rough jerk of the cockpit.

“Outer space, I guess,” Keith snarls, throwing another punch to the Kaiju in an attempt to get it to let go of them. The movement is frantic, and Lance follows him, completely in sync.

They manage to get a grip onto the Kaiju’s face and jaw with both hands, and Lance thinks _oh thank god,_ but Leatherback shakes them roughly where its claws are embedded in their hull. They lose their grip.

Lance looks down to his control panel, and a grim reality settles in his chest at what he sees. When he looks out through the visor and is met with a solid black sky, he realizes how far into the atmosphere they’ve gone in such a short amount of time. If this Kaiju doesn’t kill them first, then space will take care of the rest.

“Temperatures are dropping, and we’re running low on oxygen,” he reports to Keith, almost shouting over the noise in the cockpit now. “Both plasmacasters are shot. We’re out of options.”

Keith is silent next to him for a long second. A million things are left unsaid in the drift between them.

Lance grits his teeth. 

A flashing message appears on their control panel above them, and Renegade’s AI calls, “Deploy Sword.”

It’s like she’s telling them exactly what they need at this moment.

He blinks. He knew they had mechanical weaponry but—

“Form sword!” Keith shouts immediately, voice all kinds of desperate and high on adrenaline.

They move together, yelling and forming their new chainsword in their left hand, and they swing it once behind their head before pulling it up through the left side of the Kaiju’s body. Their blade rips through its wing and arm and severs the head from its body.

Leatherback explodes into three separate pieces, claws finally unlatching from their hull. It’s a sharp release, one that has Lance sucking in a breath of relief at the motion.

For a second, it feels like they hover in midair, somewhere in the Earth’s atmosphere, kilometers away from where they’re supposed to be on the surface.

Gravity pulls them back in, and Lance’s stomach drops as they fall back toward the Earth’s surface. The victory Lance felt merely one second ago is stifled by the abject fear that courses through his chest now. They’re falling too fast.

Renegade’s cockpit shakes around them. Outside and through their visor, flames lick her arms from the stratosphere’s resistance.

“Altitude calculation,” Renegade’s AI hums again, “Fifty thousand feet to ground contact.”

Lance looks to Keith. He’s already staring right back at him.

Renegade’s AI continues to narrate the fall, calling out their altitude calculations the closer they get to the ground. They’re moving too fast. They’ll explode into a thousand pieces if they don’t do something to slow down or absorb the shock of the landing somehow—

He’s not sure if it’s him or Keith that thinks _at least we killed the Kaiju._

“We’re not dying here. Fuck that,” Lance says angrily, hands flying to his control panel. He snaps at Keith, “Loosen all shock absorbers, and purge all fuel. We’re slowing this ride down.”

Keith nods, following his directions, and Renegade Dawn jerks hard as the fuel is purged, sending them flying upward roughly. Lance isn’t sure if it’s enough to slow them down any, but it’s got to be better than nothing. They’re closing in quickly.

“Move,” Keith mutters, and even though it’s under his breath, Lance hears it through the drift. They somehow manage to shift so that they’re falling legs first, ready to catch themselves on their feet.

The ground approaches. Lance can see it from their visor.

“We’re coming in too fast!” Keith shouts, voice still careful somehow, looking over to him. His eyes are serious, jaw clenched. “Brace for it, Lance!”

Lance nods, and his heart stutters in his chest.

Renegade Dawn slams into the ground, and dust, dirt, and debris fly up around them.

Then, silence.

It’s a long, long few seconds before Lance realizes that they’re not dead. In the cockpit, their communications system flickers back to life, and Hunk’s voice is on the other side of the radio, frantically asking if they’re okay.

“Holy fuck,” Lance breathes, opening his eyes to find Keith doing the same thing.

Even though his legs, fuck, his entire body at this point, ache to hell and back, they’re _alive._ They’re breathing. They just took their fucking Jaeger into the stratosphere to fight a Category 5 Kaiju and they _won._

Keith nods, an answer to the thoughts in the drift between them.

“Talk to me, Keith,” Lance breathes again, desperately trying to catch his breath. “You okay?”

Keith looks up at him and _smiles._ Then, he nods again and says, “All good here. That was fucking awesome.”

Lance laughs, and before he can say anything else, another desperate message from Hunk filters in through the communication system. He realizes they haven’t moved or given any other life signals to the choppers hovering above them.

They move together, getting to their feet and standing tall. The sun is shining, and even though a major part of the city is destroyed, it can be rebuilt.

“Rangers,” Hunk calls again, “give me some information. Are you there? How are you feeling?”

Lance grins at Keith and presses a hand to his control panel to reply, “Like a million fucking dollars, Hunk. Did you _see_ that?”

Keith laughs, loudly, throwing his head back with the motion.

“Amazing work, Rangers,” Coran’s voice comes through the speakers next. “Get back to the Shatterdome for repairs. You’ll need them after a stunt like that.”

Lance finds himself smiling a little too, heart still racing as they turn away and take the first few steps out of the city and to the Shatterdome.

He and Keith stay silent as they walk, but the drift flows between them louder than ever. Lance runs a diagnostic check through his control panel, prepping the extensive damage reports for the engineers later, and as the adrenaline leaves his body, and he relaxes, he realizes something is wrong. 

Lance wheezes suddenly, his lungs stinging as he breathes, and one of his hands comes up to his chest, grasping for something that isn’t there. Keith feels it too, alarm and fear appearing in the drift suddenly.

His whole body feels too hot, like there’s something inside his suit. Through the drift, he gets a flash of the same feeling from Keith, of Keith in a Jaeger with half of it torn away and the city of Hong Kong raging around him. Lance wonders what this is.

“Hey,” Keith says now, and Lance looks over. His eyebrows are pinched together, which means he’s worried. Lance can feel it. “You alright?”

Instead of replying, he sends a vague thought to Keith. He doesn’t feel alright. They need to get back.

“I’m on it,” Keith replies, voice careful, casual, even though Lance can feel the terror sneaking up his chest and through the drift. Keith uses the comm to update Coran and Hunk on their situation back at the Shatterdome. Lance struggles to listen and keep up, but then Keith is talking again, voice softer than before. He says, “Can you walk with me?”

He nods and starts walking, perfectly timed with Keith. His eyes get heavier as they walk, but Lance grits his teeth and makes himself continue. Keith is right there in the drift, metaphorically holding his hand and keeping him up, keeping him going despite the terror that they’re both feeling right now, unsure what’s happening to him.

They don’t talk, but they don’t need to. Lance can already feel everything Keith does. He’s a comforting, stable presence in the drift now, so different from when they were younger and first tried to drift together. Now, Lance feels safe. Even in a motherfucking Jaeger, built to fight the Kaiju up close and personal, Lance realizes that he does and has always felt safe with Keith there beside him.

He thinks that he hears Keith start to say something, but Lance can’t hear him because he’s already let go.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It won’t happen again,” Keith says then, voice strong, severe, sure. “I’ll never risk you like that again. Never.”
> 
> The emotion in Keith’s voice betrays how much he’s been thinking about this, how long he’s been obsessing over it.
> 
> Lance smiles, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends! sorry I'm a day late, but the good news is that you'll have one less day to wait for the next (and last!) chapter, yay! This chapter is a lot longer than the others, so I hope you like it. Thanks for all of the great kudos, bookmarks, and comments that y'all are leaving on this fic! They make me so happy and excited to write more klance fic to share, so please let me know what you think after you read it!
> 
> If you wanna chat about this fic, klance, or anything else, I'm on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and twitter @smorecreative
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

The sun is warm on his skin, and distantly, he can hear waves crashing onto the shore. The other sounds of the ocean—seagulls, people on the beach, the lifeguards’ ATVs—is all white noise, but it’s the best kind, the kind that Lance is most familiar with, the kind that fills his fondest memories.

When he was a kid, his dad’s restaurant had only been a few blocks from the beach. Every summer day, without fail, he’d be down on the beach, surfing, playing in the sand, swimming with his siblings. Then, they would go up to the restaurant, and Lance’s mom would fix them something to eat for lunch, ruffling his hair that was still filled with sand.

A deep voice interrupts his thoughts, but it’s the perfect distraction, “Hey.”

Lance opens his eyes to find Keith turned over to him, facing him where they’re lying on a towel in the sand. Keith is wearing a pair of red swim trunks, and all of his pretty, pale skin and gorgeous, sculpted muscles are out on display.

He looks gorgeous here, in the sun and on the beach. 

Lance sighs, smiling where he has his head propped on his arms, “Hey.”

Keith smiles too, gentle, and says, “Wake up.”

“I am awake,” he counters, humming.

Keith leans in closer, pressing his forehead to Lance’s temple, whispering, “Wake up.”

;;

For a second as he drifts into consciousness, he thinks he’s at home in his mom’s house in L.A., which must have been the reason he was dreaming of the beach in the first place. His eyelids flutter, the sharp, fluorescent lights above him making him wince, and as he comes to, he realizes that he can hear a steady beeping beside him. He can feel the prickly, familiar sheets of the Shatterdome against his legs.

The infirmary then. That must be where he is. 

When he tries to think back on the last thing he remembers, he doesn’t know how they made it back to the Shatterdome. There are flashes of memories once he thinks about it; he thinks he can see Keith out of the corner of his eye, feel him in the drift as they make their way back to base. He thinks that Keith might have been the one to carry him out of Renegade Dawn, but he isn’t sure.

He turns his head, sharp pain bursting behind his eyes with the movement, and he groans, closing his eyes again.

“Lance?”

He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know who it is. He knows Keith’s voice better than anyone’s, probably even Allura’s.

When he speaks, it comes out as a whisper, “Keith?”

He feels a hand ghost over his arm, and through the air around them, he can feel Keith’s hesitation prickling between them. He’s—he’s scared of something.

But Keith’s voice is steady when he says, “Hey, yeah, I’m right here.”

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, still whispering, eyes still closed.

“Just some broken ribs, but I’m good,” he says. “What about you? How do you feel?”

“Shitty,” he replies, and he forces his eyes open. He blinks and looks up to see Keith sitting beside him on his hospital bed, leaning over him. He isn’t wearing a shirt, and when Lance looks lower, he sees that it’s because of the heavy bandages wrapped around his abdomen. Keith doesn’t look good either. There are dark circles underneath his eyes, and his hair is pulled back into a low ponytail. His skin seems paler than normal too, and he looks fucking exhausted, like he hasn’t been sleeping.

“I’ll get a nurse,” he says, moving to get up.

“Not yet,” he argues, groaning. He blinks again and looks down at his own body. He matches Keith; they have the exact same bandages around their abdomen, which Lance guesses is from the Kaiju almost breaking their Jaeger in half. Another set of bandages wraps around his left shoulder and continue down his side and over his back.

“What happened?” he asks Keith, voice low, trying to remember the last thing that happened to them. Everything is so fuzzy. 

Keith sighs loudly, and Lance is hit with even more anger and desperation rolling off him. His voice is rough when he explains, “I blacked out on you. I guess—I don’t know what happened. One minute I was there and then the next…”

Lance remembers that much. He can remember being terrified, staring down the Kaiju while Keith was gone, lost in his memories. The terror of knowing he had to face the Kaiju on his own to keep them alive was harrowing. He didn’t want to ever feel it again.

Keith clears his throat. He has leaned forward and turned away from Lance to stare at the floor. He says, “I blacked out and you had to shoulder the neural connection by yourself for twelve minutes. They’ve done every test, and you’re fine, you’re okay, but when I got back… you looked like you were dying.”

Lance winces. Fuck, he didn’t know it had been that bad.

“And then, we didn’t have time to get medical attention because of the Kaiju. It took us another hour before we got back to the Shatterdome, and by the time we were finished with the fight and heading back to base, you were—I could feel you slipping out of the drift.”

Lance bites his lip. The only thing he can remember is how Keith was there for him in the drift, how he’d kept it together and got them back alive despite them not knowing what was happening to Lance.

“I thought I had killed you,” Keith whispers, bringing his hands up to cover his face.

His heart crawls up into his throat at the sight of Keith like this. He knows Keith. He knows everything about Keith, he’s seen everything because of the drift, and he accepts him for it anyway. Keith has shouldered so much pain in his life that it’s unbelievable to Lance. He _knows_ how strong Keith is.

But seeing Keith like this? Seeing Keith hurting because of him is something else. He doesn’t know how to describe it. He wishes they were in the drift so Keith could feel him and tell him what it meant.

Lance reaches out, grabs Keith’s hand that rests on the bed beside him, and pulls it up to his chest. Keith doesn’t look up at him, so Lance says, “You didn’t kill me, you idiot. It wasn’t your fault. Even if I had died, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”

“Lance, I’m the one that fucked up in the drift. I almost got both of us killed,” Keith mutters. “Of course it’s my fault.”

“Damn, where was this attitude when we were 18?”

Keith huffs, finally looking up at him, “That was different.”

Rolling his eyes and squeezing Keith’s hand, Lance replies, “Doesn’t matter. I’m your co-pilot. You would have done the same for me, wouldn’t you?”

“Lance—”

“Wouldn’t you?”

Keith sighs again, “Yes.”

“Okay, then. Discussion over. None of this was your fault. And besides, we beat the hell out of a Cat 5 Kaiju in _space_. We’re awesome.”

Keith breathes another sigh, but Lance can tell that he’s won this argument for now.

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Lance doesn’t need the drift to be able to understand Keith’s feeling. Keith will always carry this guilt around with him. It’ll be something that never really goes away, something that tempts him when they’re in the drift again, just like with Shiro and Black Paladin.

But Lance also knows that Keith is strong, that he’s one of the strongest pilots in the world. He won’t make the same mistake twice, not with Lance.

“What happened after?” he asks softly. “I can’t really remember anything.”

“After the Kaiju, we got picked up and taken back to the Shatterdome. Once I unplugged you from the neural connection, you passed out. I—I carried you out of Renegade, and it’s been two weeks since,” Keith explains.

“Two _weeks_?”

He nods and squeezes Lance’s hand where he still grips it, “You were in a coma until this morning to protect you from possible side effects of the pressure of the connection.”

“Is that normal?”

Keith shrugs, too casual, like he’s been thinking about this for the entire time Lance has been in the infirmary. He says, “Nothing’s wrong. Sometimes when a single pilot has to take over it can overload the pilot’s brain and kill them because of the strength of the connection. Thankfully you didn’t have to hold it for that long. So. Doctors say that we’re good.”

Lance narrows his eyes, “What’s the longest someone’s ever done it by themselves? Wasn’t that you?”

“Yeah,” Keith nods. “It was—forty-three minutes. Right after Shiro. I was in the hospital for almost five months.”

Lance hums. He remembers seeing those memories. He eyes fall to the scars on Keith’s chest, and something sparks in his memory. He looks down at his own chest, at the weird bandages on his skin.

“That’s what these are, right?” Lance asks. From the way Keith is looking at him, he knows that he doesn’t have to be more specific.

Keith nods slowly, “It happens when your drivesuit starts to break down. It’s the circuits breaking and burning into your skin when the neural connection overloads.”

There aren’t that many on his front that he can see, but he can’t see his back at all. “Are they bad?”

He shakes his head, “I got to you before it got as bad as mine. There are a few on your back, but not many. Your skin is dark enough that you can’t really tell unless you’re looking.”

Lance nods again and then, “Are we grounded?”

Keith nods solemnly, “At least a week, maybe more. We can’t go back up until we do another drift trial on the simulator.”

“Why?”

Keith frowns, staring at him like he should know the answer, “Because I blacked out in the drift and you almost died.”

Lance huffs, “That’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” Keith agrees, turning to face him and pulling one knee up to rest on Lance’s hospital bed. He’s in a pair of sweatpants, no socks or shoes. Lance wonders if he’s been sleeping here, unwilling to leave him alone in the infirmary.

The thought makes Lance’s chest tighten, and he stares at Keith while he rubs his free hand across his face, more than exhausted.

Eventually, he sighs and starts to stand, “You need to rest.”

“Stay with me?” Lance asks, murmuring the question.

Keith looks up at him, soft, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“No,” he objects, clutching Keith’s hand tighter, “lie down with me.”

Keith hesitates, “I don’t know—”

“Please?”

For a long second, Keith stares down at him, expression torn. Then, he sighs and says, “For a while.”

Lance smiles and starts to move over enough to give Keith room to lie down beside him, but he winces and groans as his ribs ache in his chest.

Keith clutches his hand tighter but doesn’t say anything as Lance shifts, creating enough space beside him in his small hospital bed. Keith carefully eases himself down beside Lance, close enough that their arms are stacked on top of each other, hands still weaved together.

Lance wishes that he could just roll over into Keith’s arms and fall asleep on top of his chest, listening to his heartbeat, but this will have to do for now.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened in the drift?” Lance asks, pitching his voice low and letting his eyes close. Keith is warm beside him.

“Not yet,” Keith replies, a slight shake to his voice. “I just—want to be with you. If that’s okay.”

Lance is glad he’s not looking at Keith as he says it. He doesn’t think he could handle the expression on his face now, especially with how raw Keith’s voice sounds.

Instead, he nods and holds onto Keith’s hand tighter.

;;

The next time Lance wakes up, it’s to someone unfamiliar calling his name. When he opens his eyes, it’s two nurses, asking him how he’s feeling and saying that they need to check his vitals and bandages.

He lets them, and they carefully help him sit up, which is when he looks around the room, disappointed to find that Keith is gone.

Allura and Pidge are there though, standing beside the wall and out of the nurses’ way. They both look happy to see him, even though worry flashes in their eyes at the sight of him.

“Where’s Keith?” he asks, clearing his throat, anxiously glancing toward the door.

Allura snorts, rolling her eyes, worry turning to fondness. She says, “Don’t worry, your boyfriend will be back in a few minutes.”

Lance feels himself blush, and the nurses laugh softly as they check the bandages on his back. He glares at her, “Not my boyfriend.”

Allura raises an eyebrow, “We could all hear your in your Jaeger during the deployment. I know you didn’t forget how the comm systems work.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Lance admits, thinking back to calling Keith _babe_ and hearing Keith say it back, even if he was joking. “You should have seen his face when I said that anyway.”

“It was a good fight though,” Pidge says then, saving him from more of Allura’s teasing. “Leatherback was the first ever Cat 5 Kaiju. Hunk says Renegade Dawn set a ton of new records in the fight, especially when you flipped it over you! That was so cool, wasn’t it, Allura?”

“I suppose it was, but we’re also glad that you’re okay,” Allura replies, glancing down at Pidge with a raised eyebrow.

She shrugs, nudging Allura’s side, “Well, he knew that already.”

Lance laughs, smiling. It’s great to see them like this. He knew that they were going to be drift compatible, that the bond would work out for them in the end. They act just like siblings, totally connected, completely trusting of each other. It makes Lance so happy for them, especially for Allura. She deserves this. They all do.

The nurses finish with his bandages and leave him sitting up on the side of his hospital bed. He’s wearing a pair of shorts that fall to his knees, and the bandages across his abdomen for his ribs are tight.

“Everything okay?” he asks, pressing a hand to his side.

Allura comes closer first, and she slowly pulls him into a hug, arms careful but tight. He wraps one arm around her waist and rests his head against her chest.

“I’m fine,” he hums.

“When Keith carried you out of your Jaeger, I thought you were dead,” her voice shakes over the words.

He squeezes her, “I’m not. It’s all good.”

“It’s not,” Allura murmurs, running her hand through his hair. “You could have died. That Kaiju was too much.”

“Just doing my job,” he replies.

She snorts, “Doing it _recklessly_.”

“Keith saved me.”

She stays silent for a long moment, and Lance pushes back from her, narrowing his gaze at her. She keeps her expression neutral, but when he glances back to Pidge, her eyes are wide under her glasses as she blinks owlishly. 

“What?” Lance asks, suspicious.

“Nothing.”

“Pidge, what’s wrong with her?”

Allura pinches his shoulder and then smooths her hand over it, taking away the pain, “Don’t be nosy.”

“You and Keith fought, didn’t you.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question. It’s more of an accusation than anything because realistically, Keith is the only thing that separates them now, and Allura has made it obvious that they’re not the best of friends. Something like this could have spiraled out of control without Lance there to mitigate it.

Allura hesitates, “We might have had some words.”

Lance groans, hiding his face against her chest, “Allura. What the fuck.”

“Allura is making it sound worse than it was, Lance,” Pidge says, sitting down on his hospital bed beside him. “They were yelling at each other, and then they both started crying.”

Pidge’s words are enough to make Lance freeze and pull back from Allura, whipping his head over to look at her. The motion is too fast, and it makes his head and back ache, but that’s the least important thing happening.

Keith was crying? For him?

“What’d you say to him?” Lance demands, looking back to Allura.

She ducks her head, “I was angry. To be fair, we didn’t know if you were going to make it.”

“So you just started yelling at him?” Lance asks, anger rising in his chest. Allura _knew_ that they had just been doing their job and that accidents happened on deployments sometime. “Why would you do that? What did you say?”

“I—” she stumbles over her words, revealing how anxious she is, “I blamed him for your injuries. If he hadn’t chased his memories and left you, then this wouldn’t have happened to you.”

Lance shoves Allura back from him, but thankfully, she doesn’t stumble. She keeps her head ducked, like she’s ashamed, and honestly, he feels like she should be. Why would she _ever_ say something like that to Keith when she knows what he’s been through and how much Lance cares about him?

“Lance, you don’t know the whole story,” Pidge says, filling in the silence between him and Allura. She explains, “None of us were sure if you were going to make it. Once Keith carried you out and the doctors took you away, we had no idea what was happening. Allura just—panicked, I think. Keith was already so worried about it that they started screaming at each other. Then, well—”

“I told Keith it was his fault that you were injured and it’d be his fault when you died,” Allura whispers.

“Allura,” Lance says, hurt washing over him at her words.

“I know,” she nods, eyes wide. “I apologized to him because I was just angry and worried, and realistically, I knew it wasn’t his fault. He handled it a lot better than I did.”

“It’s not Keith’s fault that I’m here,” Lance says firmly, uncaring if Allura says that she knows now. He’s going to make sure she understands. “You know the risks of piloting. It was an accident, that’s all.”

She nods again, “I know. I apologized. As soon as I said it, I told him I was sorry. We talked about it later. We’re good.”

Lance narrows his eyes at her, “Don’t talk to Keith like that. Ever again.”

She holds her hands up, surrendering, “I won’t. I promise.”

“They really did talk it out,” Pidge says, eyes wide. “I was there. Keith told Allura about…”

Allura’s expression falls suddenly, sadness creeping into her eyes and posture, and Lance doesn’t need Pidge to finish her sentence. He knows what Keith must have told her.

“I’m so sorry, Allura,” Lance says, heart aching too. “I didn’t know about Shiro until Keith told me.”

Allura nods, ponytail bobbing. She looks a breath away from tears now, but she shakes herself before they fall, and Pidge reaches out for her wrist, holding onto her too.

“We could have had everything we wanted,” Allura says, and her eyes are so, so sad when she looks up at him. “Shiro and Keith were all we ever talked about.”

“I know,” Lance comforts.

She shrugs, “At least you have Keith now.”

Lance knows that Allura doesn’t mean anything by it, that she’s happy for him, glad that he and Keith have managed to get this thing between them worked out. But, the bitterness in her voice makes him wince. It’s fair. She can be happy for him and still pissed at the world for taking Shiro away.

“I’m sorry,” Lance says again, desperate for her to know.

She nods again, and Lance reaches up to push a stray strand of her hair back behind her ear.

A long moment passes between them in silence. Lance is still connected to several of the machines via IV that are monitoring his vitals, and he thinks he’s feeling better now that he’s sitting up and talking. It was a hard fight, but all that matters now is that they won and he’s going to get better.

“Keith told me that it’s been two weeks since the deployment,” Lance says, clearing his throat. “What’s been happening?”

Pidge explains what’s been going on since they got back to the Shatterdome. Renegade Dawn was apparently severely damaged during the deployment, so Hunk and his team finished her repairs over the last two weeks. They also finished prepping Victory Pallas to carry the nuke to the breach for the final mission. It’s apparently been busy around the Shatterdome, and there haven’t been any other Kaiju attacks.

As Pidge talks about their training, Allura steps closer to him and takes his hand, and he smiles up at her, gently, carefully, offering a silent apology. She nods, smiling easily.

A few minutes later, while Pidge talks about breakfast this morning, the door to his infirmary room opens, and Keith steps inside.

He’s back in fatigues, dog tags flashing around his neck. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and the dark circles under his eyes don’t look as bad as they did whenever it was that Lance saw him last.

When his eyes settle on Lance, Keith stops right inside the door.

He leans out around Allura, smiling, “Hey.”

Keith stares at him instead of replying. There are too many emotions in his eyes for Lance to count.

Lance holds his other hand out for Allura, and she takes it, objecting softly when he starts to get to his feet. He stumbles a little, unsteady, but then, Keith is there, right next to Allura, reaching for him.

Allura passes Lance’s hands over to him easily, smiling, and steps out of the way back to Pidge’s side.

“Hi,” Lance says again, clutching Keith’s hands.

“Hey,” he says finally, voice rough, “I thought I’d be back before you woke up.”

“It’s okay. Pidge and Allura filled me in on what’s happening.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, glancing over to Allura. He asks, “Even about the mission?”

“What about the mission?” Lance frowns. “They said there haven’t been any Kaiju attacks since we got back.”

“That’s why I was gone. I had to go talk to Coran since they finished Renegade’s repairs.”

“When do they think the next Kaiju attack will happen?” Lance asks.

There’s a pause, and Keith exchanges another look with Allura and Pidge.

“What?” Lance blinks, glancing between the three of them. His hands grip Keith’s tighter. It’s obvious that he’s missing something.

Keith sighs, “Listen, Coran has put off the mission. Indefinitely.”

He blinks.

It takes a second for Keith’s words to settle. All this time, they’ve been preparing for a mission that Coran has now cancelled. Coran has been the one to put so much emphasis on this plan in the first place; he was the one that melted down Sunshine Riptide and made them change pilots and—

Now he’s saying that they’re not doing it at all? What the hell?

It clicks then, and Lance’s anger returns in one quick swoop.

“It’s because of our deployment, isn’t it?” Lance demands.

Keith doesn’t exactly nod, but his expression is enough of a confirmation for him. A few seconds later, he says, “Not officially, but yeah. I think so.”

“Why would he do that?” Lance questions, looking over to Allura and Pidge too. They must have known about Coran’s plan already and decided not to tell him until Keith got back. Probably a wise decision on their part, if he’s being honest.

“You were almost killed,” Keith says, and there’s that glint in his eyes again, the one that betrays exactly how much he’s feeling.

“So?” Lance asks. “It’s our job. We have to do this mission.”

Pidge shrugs, obviously disappointed, “Coran won’t let us. He says that it’s too dangerous.”

Lance feels like his entire world is falling apart. It feels like he’s hearing that they are about to decommission Renegade Dawn; he doesn’t think he can watch another one of his Jaegers be melted down in front of him. No, not this time. Not with Keith. He can’t lose this yet.

“We have to do something,” Lance says, wondering why they aren’t angry about it. They seem resigned, disappointed, but not angry.

Maybe he missed all of that while he was in the coma.

“There’s nothing we can do,” Keith says, voice gentle, like he’s talking to someone dangerous, someone crazy, which isn’t very fair from the mark. Lance is insanely pissed about Coran’s decision, and he’s going to figure out how to get them back in their Jaegers or _else_.

Keith continues, “For now, you just need to rest and get better. Coran might change his mind later. We don’t know.”

Lance hesitates, staring at Keith’s face, “It’s pretty obvious just by looking at you that you think he won’t.”

Keith sighs, rolling his eyes, fond and annoyed in the same motion, “I’ve been wrong before. Or so you say.”

Lance snorts, “Fine. _Fine._ I’ll forget about it for now.”

The three of his friends are relieved at that, almost like they thought he might demand to see Coran now, IV and all.

“How are you feeling?” Keith asks, looking him up and down. “Any better?”

Lance nods, desperately wishing that he could just throw himself at Keith right here, right now. It’d make his life so much easier, make him feel so much better about all of this uncertainty that they must have been dealing with for the past two weeks. He just wants to be close to Keith. Even if all of this—he just wants Keith. He doesn’t want to lose this. Not now, and not ever.

“That’s good,” Keith breathes, a flicker of a smile crossing his face. “I’m glad.”

“Me too,” Lance murmurs, stepping in closer and leaning into him.

;;

Days pass. Lance stays in the infirmary at the doctor’s instructions until they are sure that he won’t slip back into a coma in his sleep. He passes the extensive physical they put him through, and his ribs even start to feel better, aching less and less. Finally, almost five days after he’s woken up, they release him from the infirmary and clear him for training and deployment.

Lance wonders if it’ll matter much to Coran. Maybe now that he’s been cleared, he’ll officially give the greenlight for the mission.

He’ll be honest; he spends all his time obsessing about the mission. It’s all he can really think about, and it keeps him up at night. He thinks that Keith is catching onto him at this point because while he’s usually very quiet, he fills a lot of the gaps in their conversations, distracting him by talking more than normal, like he knows that Lance can’t stop thinking about the mission and their future.

It’s nice enough to keep Lance from acting on his obsession and seeking Coran out. For now.

As they clear him and dismiss him from the infirmary, Keith waits with him. He brings a set of his fatigues and boots from his room, and Lance dresses himself while Keith talks about the repairs that were completed on Renegade Dawn. When he’s finally ready to go, he nods to Keith.

“One more thing,” Keith says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out Lance’s dog tags.

Lance reaches for them, and their fingers brush as Lance takes them. The metal flashes in the fluorescent lights of the infirmary, and Lance’s eyes hang on Renegade Dawn’s tag. He flips it over to read their names on the back.

He slips them over his neck and tucks them into his fatigues, feeling settled at the familiar metal on his skin.

“Thanks for holding onto them,” Lance says, weirdly glad that Keith kept them with him the whole time instead of them sitting in his room with the rest of Lance’s personal affects he couldn’t have with him. It makes him feel better to know that Keith had a piece of him throughout the two weeks while he was in the coma. It must have been hell for him after all. 

“Yeah, of course,” Keith nods. “Ready?”

They leave the infirmary in time to get to breakfast. Lance feels heavy walking through the halls of the Shatterdome with the knowledge that their mission has been put off, possibly forever.

Without hope for another deployment, there’s really no point in being at the Shatterdome at all. Without Jaegers, Jaeger pilots are inherently useless.

It’s been Lance’s dream to end the war, and he feels like his chance has been taken away from him. Even though he’s been thinking about it pretty much nonstop while he was resting in the infirmary, it settles uncomfortably in his chest as they walk through the Shatterdome, as he’s reminded of the reason they exist in the first place.

Jaeger pilots are supposed to protect the world from the Kaiju. How can they do that when they don’t have a mission?

Keith is quiet on their way to the cafeteria, either oblivious to Lance’s internal rage or unwilling to tackle it right now, and the halls of the Shatterdome are relatively busy, soldiers, engineers, and other Rangers passing them on their route. Everyone nods to them, which isn’t unusual.

What is unusual is the standing ovation Lance and Keith get when they enter the cafeteria.

As soon as they open the doors and step inside, the huge crowd of people stops talking and turns toward them. It’s odd, for the cafeteria to be so full of people and so quiet. For a second, Lance thinks that something is wrong or that they need to leave, but then, the applause starts. Soon enough, everyone in the room is standing up, clapping, smiling, hollering their names and more importantly, Renegade Dawn’s name.

Lance is speechless for a few seconds. He doesn’t know what to say or do.

Then, Keith nudges him, sending him a smirk, “Pretty sure you’ve had dreams like this, right?”

Lance feels himself flush, and he elbows Keith in the side, “Shut up, Keith.”

Keith laughs then and leads them forward, lifting a hand in recognition before ducking his head from the crowd. Lance is more open about his appreciation, and he stops to talk to a few different people he recognizes before grabbing his rations and following Keith to their usual table, and when they’re seated, the applause dies down, and the cafeteria falls back into its normal, loud chatter.

Allura, Pidge, and Hunk are already sitting at their table, smiling and laughing at him as he sits down.

“Glad to see you feeling better, buddy!” Hunk says.

“Thanks, Hunk,” Lance smiles, and then, his expression shifts to seriousness. He continues, “Anybody heard from Coran?”

Everyone shakes their head, and even Hunk looks disappointed when he says, “No one has seen him in Central Command in days. We’re not sure what he’s planning. We’re not sure what we’ll do in the event of another Kaiju attack. Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas are still ready to be deployed and even fully prepped for the mission that was planned, but Coran hasn’t told us anything in days.”

Lance sighs, rolling his eyes, and Keith bumps into his shoulder, catching his gaze for a second before looking back to his food.

They eat the rest of their rations without talking about the mission. Even still, they don’t really have a lot to say otherwise, and it’s quiet compared to most mornings.

When breakfast ends, Hunk heads up to Engineering, and Pidge and Allura go over to the training deck. Keith hesitates, looking to him instead of getting up to follow them for more training.

“What do you want to do?” Keith asks, eyebrows furrowed. “We can train for a while, if you feel like it. Or if you just want to rest—”

“I think I want to take a walk,” Lance says, blinking. He turns to look at Keith. “You go train, I’ll catch up.”

Keith looks surprised for a second, but there must be something in Lance’s gaze because his eyes narrow and his expression carefully pulls back to neutral, cautious, guarded. He studies Lance for a long moment silently, watching him, before he nods once.

They both stand, and when Lance starts to duck away, Keith grabs his bicep to stop him.

“If you’re doing what I think you are, then you need to watch yourself,” Keith pitches his voice low, so no one else can hear them on the off chance that someone is listening. He continues, “You were right to disrupt rank to get us that deployment, but you’re not the Marshall.”

Lance narrows his eyes too, “I’m getting us the mission back.”

“You don’t have to,” Keith argues, eyes blazing. “It’s not your job. None of this is your fault. If it’s some sort of redemption for our Jaeger almost going down—”

“It’s not,” Lance shakes his head. “I need this. We can’t just sit back and wait for—”

Keith interrupts him, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, but you do need to watch out for yourself, especially if you’re not going to let me come with you.”

“I’ve got this.”

Reluctantly, Keith sighs and lets go of him. Before he turns away, he says, “If you need me, I’ll be on the training deck.”

Without another word, Keith turns and walks away, disappearing into the crowd of people.

;;

Despite Coran’s apparent absence, the Shatterdome hallways are as active as ever. Lance passes several people on his way up to Coran’s office at the top level of the Shatterdome, near Central Command. He walks quickly, trying not to talk himself out of it before he even gets there.

It’s just—Lance needs this mission. They need to do this. Even though Lance had doubted Coran’s plan to end the war at first, now, it is time. It didn’t matter what happened on their deployment a few weeks ago; they had to put everything they had into ending this war once and for all.

He doesn’t let himself think about it too much when he knocks on Coran’s office door.

After a long moment, Lance doesn’t expect anyone to answer, which means Coran must be off-base somewhere, but just as he’s turning to leave, a voice calls, “Come in.”

Lance takes a breath before he opens the door and steps inside.

Coran’s office is immense. It’s full of dark, wooden furniture, and a gallery of framed pictures rest on the wall behind his desk. Next to the one of Coran, Alfor, and their old Jaeger, there’s one of Lance and Allura in front of Sunshine Riptide. Lance can remember taking the photo and Allura sending it to him once they finished their first successful deployment.

As the Marshall, Coran is the commanding officer of the entire PPDC, and even though Coran has made it clear that he never really wanted this position for himself, Lance feels like he’s been one of the best Marshalls they’ve ever had before.

Coran stands behind his desk, “Lance, it’s great to see you. How are you feeling?”

Lance nods and closes the door behind him, entering the room, “I’m good.”

There’s a slight pause, and Coran watches him for a long moment before he sighs, “Keith and the others told you I’ve cancelled the mission.”

He nods again.

Coran smiles, but it’s bitter. He says, “And you’re here to convince me otherwise?”

“I’m here to ask you why.”

Coran crosses the large office and goes over to stand at one of the windows that overlooks the bottom of the Shatterdome’s first floor. From here, Coran has a perfect view of the Jaegers, and Lance follows him to the window, staring out at Renegade Dawn.

A long moment passes before Coran replies. He folds his arms behind his back and keeps his eyes forward when he starts, “Renegade Dawn proved me right. In your deployment two weeks ago, you and Keith set many records that won’t ever be surpassed by future Jaegers or combat with the Kaiju. You destroyed the first ever Category 5 Kaiju on your own, a feat that should have required three or more Jaegers of normal caliber. It was amazing to watch.”

“Thank you,” Lance murmurs.

“But, it still didn’t matter, in the end,” Coran continues, voice taking a sharp turn to bitterness. “Despite the strength of your bond, you were still almost killed. The neural connection could have crushed you. I imagine Keith wouldn’t have survived that either.”

Lance stares forward, unsure how to respond.

“We lost Omega Shield, Razor Edge, and Crystal Venom, and we almost lost Renegade Dawn. I suppose the United Nations was right to pull the Jaegers back. They’ve become much too dangerous without the practicality of the past.”

“So the Wall of Life is supposed to save us?” Lance asks, incredulous. “We’ve both seen the Kaiju rip it to shreds right in front of us. It doesn’t keep the Kaiju away. The Jaegers are our only chance to end this war.”

Coran finally turns to look at him, and his expression is sad. He says, “Two Jaegers are not enough to end the war. If I deploy Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas for this mission, it will mean certain death for you and your friends, and you still might not succeed. What then? What happens when the next Kaiju attacks and there are no more Jaegers at all? On top of everything else, the Kaiju that emerged from the breach last was too powerful. We have no way of knowing what will be next. Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas will be destroyed long before the mission can be completed and the breach closed. Without more Jaegers, we cannot complete the mission successfully.”

Lance waits for a moment, letting Coran’s words settle. He tries to take Keith’s advice seriously. Even though he and Coran are significantly closer than most Rangers and the Marshalls, he still needs to stay aware of the importance of their ranks. Coran is his friend but also his Marshall.

Below them, Renegade Dawn stands tall, unflinching. There’s a crew working on the visor of her head, but all her major repairs have already been completed, according to Keith. Even from here, just looking at her, Lance is itching to get back into the cockpit, back into the drift, with Keith.

“That’s our job as your Rangers,” Lance finally says. “We’re supposed to protect the world from the Kaiju, and this mission is a chance for us to end the war. Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas can do it.”

“And Allura?” Coran asks, voice breaking. “I promised Alfor on his deathbed that I would protect her. We both knew she wanted to be a Jaeger pilot, but I can’t sanction this mission with the knowledge that it means death for her. I can’t do that to him.”

“Allura is one of the strongest people I know,” Lance nods. “She wants this mission as much as I do. We don’t have another choice.”

Coran doesn’t reply, and they both stare ahead at the Jaegers.

Lance sighs, “When Allura and I were paired up and they built Sunshine Riptide, I could tell how important you were to her. You became the Marshall not long after we were assigned to L.A., and she always talked about you. She’s so proud of you, you know? She always thought of her father in the drift, about how much she missed him, but you, Coran? Allura wants to make you proud. I can’t even begin to tell you how important you are to her or how much she loves you.”

Beside him, Coran has gone still, and when he looks over to Lance, there are tears in his eyes.

Lance nods again, “I know she’s your family, but this is our job. She wants this. She and Pidge are going to be great pilots, you said it yourself.”

Another long pause passes between them.

Then, Coran’s voice shakes when he asks, “And you and Keith? How are you?”

Lance smiles a little, “When you told me that you were decommissioning Sunshine Riptide, I thought my life was over. Then, you said that I was drift compatible with Keith and it just—didn’t make any sense. But… once we talked about everything, it was so _obvious.”_

Lance looks to Renegade Dawn and thinks of Keith. He continues, “Drifting with Allura was always easy for me, but it’s so different now. Keith is everything I’ve ever needed. He says that I’m the best Jaeger pilot he’s ever seen, but that’s only because he doesn’t realize how strong he is. I’ve never met someone so brave. He keeps me steady and pushes me to be better, to work harder and be stronger.”

It’s quiet in the office when Lance pauses. Coran is very still beside him, still holding his arms behind his back, staring ahead.

“Keith is my soulmate,” Lance finishes confidently. “I’d have never found him without you.”

Coran nods and lets out a rough breath.

“And that’s why we need to do this mission,” Lance starts again, voice even stronger. “I can’t give this up yet. I’m not ready to watch my Jaeger be decommissioned again. We can end this, Coran. Even if you don’t want to send Allura, let us go. Deploy Renegade Dawn and let us finish this.”

“You think that Allura would let you and Keith go on this mission alone?” Coran asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

Lance bites back a smile, “No. Definitely not.”

They laugh together quietly for a few seconds, but the reprieve doesn’t last long. Coran becomes serious again, and he turns to look at Lance fully, intensely.

“You’re willing to die for this mission?” Coran asks, accent stiff against the words. “Because that’s what this mission will mean. Certain death.”

“And we might save the entire world from the Kaiju forever,” Lance counters. “The risk is worth the chance.”

In the pause after his words, Coran considers his proposal.

Then, he says, “The others agree with you?”

Lance smiles, “Pidge is chomping at the bit to get out in their Jaeger. Allura too.”

“And Keith?”

“Keith is with me.”

“One way or another, this will be the end of the Jaeger program,” Coran replies, nodding to himself. “But you’re right. We must do all we can.”

Hope swarms Lance’s chest at his words.

Coran nods again, definitively, and his eyes are serious but optimistic too. He reaches forward, sets a hand on Lance’s shoulder, and says, “At the next Kaiju attack, we go to the breach and end this war, once and for all.”

Lance can’t describe the emotions in his chest at Coran’s words. Everything he’s been working for has just been given back to him. He and Keith, along with Pidge and Allura, are going to end this war or die trying.

Coran dismisses him from the office, asking him to get back to training while he goes to Engineering to talk through more of the logistics for the mission and prep the equipment they will need.

As he leaves the office, he feels steadier than he has since he climbed into Renegade Dawn with Keith for their deployment. Not knowing what the future held for them and their Jaeger has been bothering him for days, but now, even if they’re facing death, he feels stronger and better than ever.

Out in the hallway, Keith is leaning up against the wall across from Coran’s office, arms crossed over his chest, face casual, shoulders loose.

Lance stops and watches him.

He never believed they would get here. Since they were at the Garrison, Lance put so much time and energy into hating Keith, and by the time he realized he had a huge, ridiculous crush on him, it was too late. And then, even when Keith came back into his life, he’d made a mess out of everything until he was forced to clean it up.

Now, looking at Keith, watching him watch Lance right back, he can’t believe how fucking stupid he was. It’s obvious that Keith is everything Lance has ever wanted.

Without a word, Keith pushes off from the wall and crosses the small space between them, opening his arms. It’s like he knows exactly what Lance is thinking.

He meets him halfway, falling into Keith’s arms and clutching him, burying his face in Keith’s shoulder.

Minutes later, Keith murmurs right into his ear, “I knew you’d do it.”

Lance snorts, desperately trying to push back the tears threatening to claw up his throat. He says, “You didn’t sound like it earlier.”

“I told you to be careful, which obviously kept you from storming into his office and screaming until you got what you wanted.”

Lance doesn’t know what to say. It’s true, of course. Keith’s advice _had_ been the only thing that kept him from overreacting with Coran.

Instead of replying, he holds Keith tighter and says, “Coran told us to go train and be ready.”

One of Keith’s hands comes up to cradle the back of his head, and Keith murmurs, “In a minute.”

;;

When they get to the training deck and give the good news to Pidge and Allura, they train for a few hours, sparring with each other on teams and trying to stay sharp. Lance finds that he’s still a little sore from his injuries, and he even catches Keith wincing to himself after Lance jabs him in the chest a little too hard and too close to his injuries.

He suggests they take a break from sparring and meditate, and Keith agrees, sitting down onto the mat with him and closing his eyes. Pidge and Allura leave them there, heading over to the simulation for a while, so it’s just him and Keith on the training deck all alone.

Lance sits down directly in front of Keith, only a few inches between them so that their knees are almost touching. He closes his eyes and focuses on Keith, carefully pulling at their bond.

It’s nice. They sit in silence with each other, eyes closed, just inches away from the other. Even with his eyes closed, he can feel Keith in front of him. It’s nothing like being connected in the drift, but it’s still comforting to have this easy, strong bond between them to fall back on.

“What are you thinking about?” Keith murmurs the question sometime later, distracting him from their mediation and pulling him back into the present.

Lance keeps his eyes closed, but he grins. He says, “You. Duh.”

Keith breathes a laugh, “Same.”

After another long pause, Keith interrupts them again and says, “Can we talk?”

Lance opens his eyes to find Keith already staring at him and nods, “Sure.”

Keith doesn’t say anything.

Lance laughs softly, kicking one of his legs into Keith’s and leaving it there so they’re touching. Keith is still watching him carefully, eyes full of something that Lance can’t pick out, even after all this time.

Finally, when Keith still doesn’t speak, Lance says, “C’mon, Keith, you start.”

“I just—” Keith rolls his eyes at himself and looks away from Lance. “I guess I feel like we need to talk about the deployment.”

“What about it?” Lance asks, voice soft.

Dark eyes settle on his, eyebrow raised, and Lance bites back a smile at the look on Keith’s face. Fuck, he’s so _cute_.

Keith flops over onto his back on the training deck, letting his arms fall to his sides haphazardly. His gaze fixates on the ceiling, and his voice is bitter when he says, “Geez, Lance, I don’t know, maybe about how I chased the rabbit and almost killed you because of it.”

Lance leans over him, kneeling beside him, enough so that he can look down at him. The normal unflattering fluorescent lights in the training room highlight Keith’s face, especially his damn near perfect bone structure, and Lance pushes down the urge to lean forward and kiss down his jaw and chin.

“Okay, let’s talk about it,” Lance agrees, because yeah, they really do need to get this worked out before they get back into their Jaeger, and they need to deal with Keith’s obsession over it anyway.

Keith glances over at him before his gaze finds the ceiling again.

Lance sighs. He swings a leg over Keith and settles on top of his chest, straddling him, and reaches forward to tilt Keith’s chin down to look at him. He says, “Stop being difficult. It’s just me.”

Keith narrows his eyes for a few seconds, and then, he sighs again, and guilt swarms his expression. Eventually, he says, “I don’t know what to say. I mean, other than I’m sorry.”

“Keith, you don’t have anything to be sorry for in the first place,” Lance corrects, pitching his voice low. “God, I couldn’t even imagine getting into another Jaeger after what happened in Black Paladin.”

His co-pilot nods at him, staying silent.

Lance continues, “I’m not expecting you to be perfect. We’ve talked about this before. Besides, I thought it was amazing, all things considering.”

“Are you saying that you expected me to get lost in the drift on our first deployment?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Lance frowns, “but I think it would have been stupid to think that you wouldn’t have had _some_ sort of reaction to fighting a Kaiju for the first time since your last deployment.”

There’s a pause, and Lance has a hard time naming the emotion that’s swimming in Keith’s eyes as he says, “You thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

“I still don’t understand _how_ you even manage to drift with me in the first place after losing Shiro in the middle of a deployment,” Lance corrects, desperate for Keith to know where he’s coming from right now. “You told me I’m the best Jaeger pilot you’ve seen, but you’re the _bravest_ person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

Keith opens his mouth to respond, but at Lance’s words, he hesitates, blinking up at him. Then, he says, “You think I’m brave?”

Lance breathes a laugh, “Keith, you’re the definition of brave. The only reason our Jaeger is so strong is because of you.”

“I’m not the only reason.”

He rolls his eyes, “Okay, fine. The only thing that matters about that deployment is that you came back to me and we kicked ass.”

“And you were in a coma for two weeks.”

Lance frowns again, “I’m fine.”

“I know that now,” Keith mutters, looking away again, “but for two weeks we didn’t know how much damage had been done. It was fucking torture. I felt like I was dying too.”

Fuck, Lance hasn’t really stopped to think about that. He’d heard stories of Jaeger pilots who felt their co-pilot’s pain, especially when the injury happened on a deployment. When they were piloting Sunshine Riptide, he and Allura had a few close calls, but nothing like this had ever happened to them. It hadn’t really crossed his mind that Keith had to sit through two weeks without him, through two weeks where he had no idea what was going to happen to him.

If their roles had been reversed—god, Lance can’t imagine it. No wonder Keith feels so guilty about everything.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not your fault either,” Lance argues.

Keith sighs heavily, “Okay. I still just—I wanted to say I’m sorry for leaving you in the drift. I know how terrifying that is.”

“You came back,” Lance reaches forward and cups Keith’s jaw in his hand, softly, reverently. “That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Keith looks at him for a long, long moment without saying anything, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes are blazing with emotion, and this time, Lance can read him perfectly. 

“It won’t happen again,” Keith says then, voice strong, severe, sure. “I’ll never risk you like that again. Never.”

The emotion in Keith’s voice betrays how much he’s been thinking about this, how long he’s been obsessing over it.

Lance smiles, “I know.”

;;

There’s a knock at the door, and Lance finds himself frowning as he rolls to his feet to answer it.

It’s been hours since they left the training deck. After they grabbed lunch with Allura and Pidge, Lance offered to train with Keith more, but it was obvious that he needed to rest, and Keith told him as much. He’d gone back to his room and managed to fall into a dreamless sleep for a few hours. He’d offered for Keith to come with him back to his room, but his co-pilot had only shaken his head and said he needed to train more. Lance had rolled his eyes and squeezed Keith’s wrist in his hand before leaving him to it.

When he pulls the heavy metal door open, he finds Keith on the other side, leaning against the wall. He’s got his hands tucked into the pockets of the dark, well-fitting jeans he’s wearing. He also has a leather jacket on and a black shirt underneath it instead of his fatigues and well—he looks amazing.

“Hi?” Lance asks, confused at the expression on Keith’s face. He doesn’t think he’s seen this one before.

Keith nods and says, “Come on.”

“Where? And why are you wearing that?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I didn’t say that—”

Keith cuts him off with a smirk and says, “Change your clothes and come on. I’ve got something to show you.”

Lance narrows his eyes, “What if they need us here?”

“I think they can manage for a few hours,” Keith replies, lifting an eyebrow at him, “but I can find someone else to go with me if you—”

“Hell no,” Lance scowls, despite the smile that he’s trying to hide. Honestly, he’s never seen Keith like this before. It’s—good. “Give me five.”

Lance closes the door in Keith’s face and turns around to get ready. He had still been wearing his fatigues from training earlier, not bothering to take them off when he came back to his bunk after. He had been meaning to go find Hunk later this afternoon and hang out with him for a while, but Lance honestly never made it farther than his bed and a quick nap before Keith was knocking on the door.

He picks out his clothes carefully, trying to match Keith’s look with the limited amount of clothes he has here. He grabs some jeans, slides into his sneakers, and picks a dark blue button up that looks great with his bomber jacket. It takes him a few minutes to deal with his hair, but by this point, Keith should know that when he says five minutes, he means ten or fifteen.

When he’s finished, he nods to himself and brushes his hand against the picture of his dad and sister before opening the door.

Keith is still there, leaning back against the wall, looking casual and nonchalant. Lance knows him well enough now that it means Keith is nervous.

“Ready?” Keith asks, eyes roaming over Lance’s frame.

He bites his lip to keep from smiling too big and says, “Care to share where you’re taking me?”

Keith rolls his eyes and starts walking, leaving Lance to follow him, saying, “No. It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise?” Lance asks, grinning. He’s aching to reach down and take Keith’s hand but—that might be too much. Instead, he settles on bumping his shoulder into Keith’s and moving close enough that their arms brush one another as they walk. “How long have you been planning this?”

“None of your business.”

Lance laughs, and they fall into an easy silence as they walk up to the top level of the Shatterdome.

They pass a few soldiers and engineers on their way, and everyone stops to nod at them, some level of respect and awe on their faces. It’s both encouraging and tiring. At some point, Lance knows that they’re going to be the last hope for the world. Even if Allura and Pidge have Victory Pallas and are ready to fight alongside them, there’s something in his chest that’s telling him it’ll be down to him and Keith in the end.

Fitting for them, he guesses.

Now, in the elevator, Lance leans into Keith’s side a little more heavily. Keith leans back on him automatically.

They’re so even and well-matched that it takes Lance’s breath away on most days, today especially.

They exit the elevator at the top of the Shatterdome and cross the bay to the open doors. Several more soldiers and engineers are there still working even though it’s late in the day, and they all nod to them as they pass.

As they walk, Lance looks up to Renegade Dawn, where she’s standing next to Victory Pallas, waiting on them. He’s not looking when he feels Keith reach down to take his hand, but it makes him smile anyway.

Keith steers them across the bay and to the open doors without a word, where it’s getting dark outside. The sun is setting and bleeding into the ocean, and there’s a helicopter sitting on the concrete a few yards from the Shatterdome doors. The helicopter’s doors are open, the rotors are spinning, and the pilot sits in the seat, waving them forward.

“You really did plan this,” Lance says, eyebrows raised, surprised. Keith would have had to pull some serious strings to get this chopper here. He definitely would have had to beg Coran for the chance anyway, especially at a time like this when they don’t know what could happen.

Keith laughs a little, but he sounds nervous. Instead of turning to look at him, Keith just pulls them forward, toward the waiting chopper.

Lance suddenly finds himself wondering what else Keith has planned for them.

They climb into the helicopter, and the pilot turns back to greet them, handing them two headsets. Keith and Lance buckle in, and Keith leans out, closing the door and flashing a thumbs up to the pilot.

As a Jaeger pilot, Lance is no stranger to planes, helicopters, jets, and heights. By this point in his life, he’s spent most of his life in heavy machinery just like this, and most of the time, he doesn’t find it that special anymore. It’s usually just another part of the day. If anything, his Jaeger has been the only piece of machinery to continue to impress him.

That might still be true, but sitting in the back of this helicopter with Keith, pressed up against his side as it lifts off and flies low over the Pacific Ocean, it’s another feeling entirely. _Special,_ hell _romantic_ , doesn’t even begin to cover how this feels.

Keith finds his hand again, twining their fingers together and leaving their hands on his thigh, and when Lance turns to look at him, he finds Keith already smiling at him, soft around the edges.

“What is it?” Lance laughs a little, nervous and excited in the same breath. He has no idea what’s going to happen tonight.

Keith shakes his head, hair spilling over his neck and down his shoulders. One side of his mouth lifts up into a smile, and he says, voice coming in through his headset, “You look good.”

Honestly, Lance never, ever, _ever_ expected to make it here with Keith, but wow, he’s so glad that they have. Even if he doesn’t really know what’s going on, not specifically, he can read Keith so well that he doesn’t need to. He can see it in Keith’s dark eyes, can feel it between them, sitting right at their bond.

So, he smiles, shy suddenly, and replies, “Thank you. You do too.”

Keith’s smile widens, and Lance has to turn away because it’s so blinding to look out over the ocean.

The chopper takes them over to the mainland and sets down on a landing pad at the coast. It’s still PPDC property, but beyond the lot, garage building, security guards, and the chain link fence, it’s Hong Kong. Once they step off property, they’ll be civilians for the night.

It makes Lance excited. It’s been a long time since he had the opportunity to get off base, and it’s been years since he’s been off base with Keith at that. He remembers all the times that Shiro and Allura dragged them to dark, overcrowded bars where they wouldn’t be recognized. In the few times it had happened, Lance and Keith had been at each other’s throats, arguing and sloshing beer over one another.

Lance knows that tonight won’t be like any of those nights.

Keith removes his headset, and Lance follows suit. Then, as the chopper is powering down, Keith leans forward to the pilot and says, “Thanks, man. See you in a few hours.”

“No problem, Ranger,” the pilot nods to them. “Take as long as you need.”

Keith opens the door of the chopper and carefully crawls out, keeping Lance’s hand in his and helping him down from the chopper.

Once outside, Keith leads him over to the garage building, where a PPDC security guard stands in front of the open garage door. He holds a set of keys in one hand, waving them over to him.

“Ranger Kogane,” the security guard greets, nodding to them. “The Marshall told me you were coming. I have your keys here.”

“Thank you,” Keith says, taking the keys from him and pulling Lance around the corner into the open garage.

A sleek, black motorcycle sits in the garage waiting on them.

Lance stops in his tracks. Keith _really_ planned this.

Keith lets go of his hand and takes a step forward, closer to the motorcycle, and then he turns back to Lance, looking him up and down.

“Scared?” Keith asks, smirking as he twirls the keys in his hand.

Lance raises an eyebrow at him, “I pilot a Jaeger with you, Keith. There’s not much left in the world to scare me.”

Keith tosses his head back, laughing louder than Lance has heard yet. He shakes his head then, motioning Lance forward toward the motorcycle.

“You coming, Sanchez?” Keith asks, grabbing the two helmets that are sitting on the seat and cranking the motorcycle as he settles onto the seat. It roars to life under him, and Keith smirks again as he holds the helmet out for him.

Lance rolls his eyes and walks forward, grabbing the helmet and Keith’s shoulders. He slings his leg over the seat and settles right behind Keith, so close that their hips are pressing together.

“Don’t Sanchez me, _Kogane_ ,” he murmurs dangerously, right into Keith’s ear, lips close enough to barely brush Keith’s earlobe. “And don’t let me down either. I’ve been pretty impressed so far.”

Keith turns his head over his shoulder enough for Lance to see his smirk and the line of his scar. His voice is low as he murmurs, “That so?”

“Mmm,” he hums it into Keith’s ear, leaning forward to press his chest against Keith’s back. This is different for them, but exactly what Lance had been expecting to happen once they figured this out. How could their bond be so intense and it _not_ happen?

Keith breathes a laugh, and Lance feels it from where his hands have already snaked around his middle. Still in that agonizingly low and deep voice, he says, “Put on your helmet and hold onto me.”

Lance doesn’t need to be told twice.

Once their helmets are on and Lance’s arms have settled firmly around Keith’s middle again, Keith revs the engine of the motorcycle and peels out of the garage. The security guards open the gate for them, and Keith turns onto the road and guns it.

It’s a different feeling than being in a Jaeger. After all this time in the military, Lance can say that he’s never been on the back of a motorcycle until right now, but he suddenly understands why Keith likes it. It’s everything that Keith loves about piloting a Jaeger but smaller, more easily controlled.

Lance squeezes his arms around Keith tighter, Keith revs the engine again, and they fly forward.

;;

Keith hasn’t called this a date out loud, but Lance knows him better than anyone else in the entire universe. This is _definitely_ a date.

Lance realizes it when Keith stops the motorcycle and parks in an alleyway that’s only a few blocks from one of the main drags in Hong Kong where they used to come with other Jaeger pilots years ago. The streets are busy and full of people, and no one ever stops to look at them long enough to recognize them. It’s like existing in the middle of crowds that don’t have any expectations of you, which is so nice compared to the constant pressure of the Shatterdome.

As they weave through the crowds, Lance reaches for Keith’s hand and holds onto him. Keith aims a soft smile at him over his shoulder.

They grab dinner from a booth on the street, leaning up against a wall and each other, right in the middle of a huge crowd of people. It’s loud, but it’s like they’re in their own bubble. They laugh and talk, and Lance keeps leaning into him and Keith is bending down closer to listen when he speaks and—

It’s a lot. It’s the best kind of overwhelming.

After they finish their dinner, they walk down the street, hand in hand, and Keith pulls them into a club. Keith approaches the security guard at the door and speaks to him quickly, even though the music is already too loud for Lance to really understand what he’s saying. The bouncer agrees though and lets them skip the line to get inside.

The club is packed with people. It’s dark, and the lights that are on cast the big room into a deep shade of purple. To their left, the bar is crowded with people, and the bartender hurriedly makes drinks behind it.

Lance finds himself smiling. It’s been a long time since he’s had a break from the Shatterdome, and he hadn’t realized that this is exactly what he’d needed. Plus, Keith is here. 

Keith starts toward the bar, but Lance catches his other hand and changes direction, heading toward the dance floor.

It’s already so crowded that Lance maneuvers through the people carefully, brushing shoulders with other people. The music is loud, something fast, low, and hard. It’s so loud that there’s no way to hear anything other than the thumping bass.

But they’re not here to talk anyway, are they?

He holds onto Keith behind him, clutching his hands, and when he finally reaches a space big enough for both of them, he turns and presses into Keith’s chest, catching Keith’s gaze.

His dark eyes are burning.

Lance moves in closer, propping one arm up on Keith’s shoulder, hand dangling behind his neck, fingers grazing his back. He gets his other hand to Keith’s hip and starts moving.

Keith catches on annoyingly quick, like everything else he does in the entire universe. It should be enough to annoy Lance now, but he’s more thankful than anything, just glad to have Keith’s hands on him like this. His hands catch Lance’s hips, thumbs dipping down into the hollows of his hip bones, fingers curling into his skin up under his shirt and above his belt.

There isn’t any space in between them, and the surrounding crowd pushes them even closer together as they dance. Lance keeps his eyes on Keith’s, who alternates between staring back at him, glancing down to his lips, and then further down to his hips. Every time he does it, it’s enough to make Lance grin.

They’re so close and moving in sync that Lance can feel the bond between them just like he can when they’re training. If Lance thought that he knew what burning felt like before, then he wasn’t sure this feeling could even compare.

Keith must notice too. His hands curl harder against Lance’s hips, dragging him impossibly closer.

The music thumps around them. Lance isn’t sure how long they spend on the dance floor, moving together, watching each other, but when it starts to get to be too much, Lance turns, back pressing against Keith’s chest. For half a second, he feels like it might be easier like this, but then Keith steps further into him, hips to hips, crotch pressing against his ass, head dipping to his neck to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his pulse-point.

Lance’s mouth drops open, eyes fluttering, and he angles his head, giving Keith better access to his neck.

A few seconds later, Keith pulls back.

Before Lance can turn to object, Keith gets an arm around his waist, possessive, and drags him forward, off the dance floor, and back out front through the doors. The cool air hits him hard when they get outside, and his ears feel like they’re ringing from the sudden loss of the loud, thumping music.

It doesn’t help with the burning. Instead, it’s almost worse as he stumbles after Keith, who drags him forward and ducks into the dark alleyway beside the club. They barely make it a few feet into the dark before Keith presses him up against the cool brick, and Lance is already reaching for his face and guiding him to his lips when Keith leans into him.

Keith kisses like he drifts, confident, arrogant, aggressive, cool. But there’s another layer to it, and behind the heat, beyond the desperation, there’s his hesitance, uncertainty, a little bit of fear.

Lance doesn’t let him get stuck there. Instead, he pulls Keith in, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. He pushes against Keith and brings one of his legs up around his waist, urging him in closer.

Keith’s hands are almost as overwhelming as his lips. He brings one down to Lance’s thigh, gripping the leg that’s up around his waist, and settles his other on the small of Lance’s back, pushing up underneath his jacket and shirt to get to his bare skin.

When they both have to pull back to breath seconds, minutes, hours later, Lance remembers where they are and what they’re doing.

Keith must catch the hesitance that’s coming from Lance now because he leans back too, only staying close enough to keep their foreheads pressed together.

Eventually, Keith murmurs, “Sorry.”

Something fierce surges in Lance’s chest, and he pushes Keith back then, just enough to see his face. One of his hands comes up to cup Keith’s jaw and he says, “I’m not.”

He’s never heard Keith’s voice be so rough when he says, “You’re not?”

“Of course not, you jackass,” Lance whispers, staring at him.

“Then why—”

Lance waits for Keith to finish speaking, but he never does. Instead, he trails off, looking at the brick wall next to Lance’s head instead of meeting his gaze.

They’re not in the drift, but Lance can feel the uncertainty, the nerves, that Keith experiences now. He’s gotten a lot better at reading Keith’s expressions too, instead of only depending on the drift and the bond.

Lance uses his leg around Keith’s waist to pull him in closer, and Keith’s dark eyes finally meet his again.

“Not that I’m not into this or anything,” Lance starts, voice low, stroking Keith’s jaw, “but I don’t really want our first time to be up against a brick wall outside of a club in Hong Kong.”

Keith snorts, finally breaking from the serious expression, and says, “Seems like something you’d like.”

“Maybe eventually, yeah,” Lance agrees, laughing.

A few seconds of silence pass between them. The music from the club thumps distantly, but in the dark alleyway, they’ve created their own moment, their own world.

“I didn’t mean for it to go this far anyway,” Keith admits, glancing up at him.

Lance grins, “Was it the dancing?”

Keith nods, and a slight blush fills his cheeks.

_I love you_ , bubbles to Lance’s lips, but he doesn’t want that first to be here either. Instead, he bites his lip and shoves it back down.

It’s silent for a long moment between them. Lance pulls Keith back in and presses their foreheads together, and then, Keith leans forward and presses his lips to Lance’s, soft, careful. He hums in response.

When Keith pulls back, he sets Lance’s leg back to the ground and pulls his hands away, finally stepping back. Lance almost reels him back in, but Keith’s expression is neutral, careful in a way that it hasn’t been all night.

Lance knows it means that they have to get back to the Shatterdome, back to their Jaeger, back to the mission.

He doesn’t make Keith say it. Instead, he smiles a little and reaches for Keith’s hand, and together, they walk out into the street and disappear into the crowd.

;;

The alarms wail in the middle of the night, echoing throughout the halls and rooms of the Shatterdome.

Lance jerks awake, hands clutching at Keith’s shoulders as he pushes himself up. Keith is already awake too, one arm wrapped tightly around his waist, watching him through the dark of Lance’s room.

They wait for the announcement, and it comes just a moment later.

“Renegade Dawn and Victory Pallas Rangers, report to your docking bays for deployment. This is not a drill,” Coran’s voice booms over the speaker system throughout the Shatterdome.

Lance looks back down to Keith. Keith’s eyes are dark, and as Lance watches, his lips turn up into a smirk. Keith’s hand slides up his spine and wraps around the back of his neck, pulling him down for a blistering, melting kiss.

When Keith pushes back from him, he’s not even out of breath as he smirks and says, “Let’s fucking end this.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun slowly inches up over the horizon and shines directly into Renegade Dawn’s visor as the chopper transport travels toward the breach to meet the Kaiju and complete the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, friends! Here's the last chapter! I hope you've enjoyed this fic as much as I have, and I just want to thank y'all for the great response this fic has gotten. All of the comments, kudos, and bookmarks have made this so much fun to post and share. No worries though, you'll be seeing more from me in the future! 
> 
> If you wanna chat, you can find me on tumblr @somethingmorecreative1 and on twitter @smorecreative. Come see me and say hi! 
> 
> Stay safe, stay healthy, and take care of yourselves xoxo

The sun slowly inches up over the horizon and shines directly into Renegade Dawn’s visor as the chopper transport travels toward the breach to meet the Kaiju and complete the mission.

Victory Pallas is right behind them. As soon as the four of them had been outfitted in their drivesuits and loaded into their Jaegers, Hunk and Coran had given them instructions on the transport. It’s very rare for Jaegers to be transported very far to fight the Kaiju, especially when there were active Shatterdomes across the Pacific Rim with their own Jaegers. The closest Jaeger usually took out the Kaiju.

Lance has been on a few long-distance transports before, but not many. Sunshine Riptide had been needed in some places where they were forced to be transported via chopper. It always made Lance jittery and more anxious. He’s always preferred just walking to the Kaiju in his Jaeger; it always helps with his nerves.

Plus, the extra time in the drift makes Lance dizzy. Especially with Keith.

Keith snorts at that thought, glancing over at him from where he’s poking around at his control panel. They’re flying a few meters above the Pacific Ocean, heading toward the Mariana Trench where the breach lies at the very bottom of it. Coran and Hunk have briefed them on the plan again during their transport. They’ll go to the breach, kill the Kaiju, and use the carcass to get through to set off the bomb. With any luck, the plan will go off without a hitch, and they’ll be home by lunch.

His nerves and anxiety kick up again at that thought. Across Renegade’s cockpit, Keith hums at him, agreeing.

“Approaching the drop off location,” Hunk says, voice echoing through the comm system. “How are you guys doing? Victory, all good?”

“We’re good, Hunk,” Allura replies.

“And Pidge? First time in a Jaeger, what do you think?”

Pidge laughs, “It’s fucking awesome. So cool.”

Lance finds himself smiling at her obvious excitement, and it helps dissipate his nerves.

“Okay, great. Renegade?”

“All good here,” Lance says, glancing at Keith.

His co-pilot nods, “Good. These new upgrades look great, Hunk.”

“Thanks, Keith,” Hunk replies, all business now. “So, before we drop, everyone’s systems look good to go. I don’t see any issues on my end. Fuel lines look clean and all systems are green.”

Lance looks over his control panel, nodding too, “Renegade is a go for drop.”

“Victory is a go for drop,” Allura’s voice echoes.

“Very well,” Coran’s voice is next, and he sounds sure. Lance can imagine him in Central Command with Hunk, arms tucked behind his back, standing tall. His speech, the one he’d given in the Shatterdome before they left for their deployment, echoes in Lance’s mind. He’d give it to Coran for being one hell of a speech giver. After listening to it, Lance felt like he’d be able to destroy every last Kaiju and still walk away from the fight.

Coran continues, “You know the risks, but you also know the rewards that we seek. The four of you can complete this mission. I know it. You’re the bravest bunch of pilots I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. You’ve made me proud, Rangers.”

Lance clenches his jaw at Coran’s words and feels Keith do the same, trying to stamp out the emotion and reality of what they’re about to do, where they’re about to go.

Allura answers for them. Her voice shakes when she responds, “And we thank you, Coran. You are the best Marshall we’ve ever had.”

There’s a slight pause, and Lance takes a second to look over at Keith, who nods at him slowly.

“Alright. Disengage transport,” Hunk orders.

The drop from the transport is immediate and jarring, and Lance feels his stomach go with it. No matter how many times he’s had to do it, dropping from the chopper transport always makes him a little sick to his stomach.

They drop into the ocean, crouching as their feet hit the bottom of the Pacific. They don’t waste any time; as soon as they’re steady, they take a step forward. They’re close enough to the trench now that the water comes up to Renegade Dawn’s chest.

It’s serious now. Since their feet are back on the ground, there’s no time to play. This is it. 

Lance taps at his control panel, “All ports sealed, ready to submerge.”

A few seconds later, Pidge echoes him on Victory’s status, and they continue forward, walking down the slope of the ocean floor and into the trench, completely submerged under the water.

Lance keeps his eyes on his control panel, checking over their hull and making sure they didn’t have any leaks while Keith leads them forward. When Lance looks back up, he can still see through the deep blue water, even though it gets murkier and darker by the second as they descend to the trench.

“Okay guys, there are 2 active Kaiju circling the breach, codenames Scunner and Raiju,” Hunk explains. “We’re watching them on sonar. It looks like they’re both Cat 4.”

Over the comms, Pidge says, “Half a mile to the breach, and then it’s 3,000 meters below.”

Keith makes an annoyed noise under his breath and says, “Visibility zero, switching instruments.”

Their interface changes to sonar, and Lance pulls his infrared scanner up as well, trying to pinpoint the location of the two Kaiju. The further they walk, the closer they come to the trench, and then, to the drop down to the breach.

Lance reaches up to the controls above his head, where the comm system is, and hits his mute button. Then, only so Keith can hear, he says, “Something’s not right. I can’t pinpoint these Kaiju.”

Keith frowns, nudging a thought at him through the drift.

“Maybe,” Lance concedes with Keith’s point. There have been some Kaiju that are more difficult to pick up on their systems, and if they’re moving around very quickly, it would be harder to keep tabs on them, especially at the bottom of the ocean. It could be that their tracking system has some static because of the depth they’re at. It could be nothing. “I’ll keep trying.”

Keith nods, and Lance flips his comms back on, unwilling to worry the others.

He realizes that they’ve dropped back from Victory Pallas by a few meters, getting behind in the walk to the drop. The others notice too.

“Keep up, Renegade,” Allura says, probably trying to tease, even though she sounds wary too. “Only 600 meters to the first drop.”

They reach the first drop quickly, Lance and Keith pushing to keep up with Allura and Pidge. They drop down at the same time, and Lance hates it. He can feel his nerves sneaking back up again, completely on edge. He’s never liked pre-battle. He would rather drop down into an already terrifying fight with a Kaiju than deal with the waiting and watching.

_Impatient,_ Keith thinks fondly in the drift. Lance doesn’t have time to look over at him or reply to the thought; he just bites back his own smile.

They can’t see outside of their Jaeger, and Lance is thankful for it. They’re deeper than most submarines have ever gone before. There’s a reason that monsters come from this part of the Earth, and Lance is glad that he’s not watching it. It’s no doubt the closest thing to hell that you could see without being there, and he’s glad it won’t star in his nightmares later, assuming he’s alive to have them.

Keith doesn’t have anything to say or think about that except for a careful agreement despite his remaining silence.

They hit the next level of the ocean floor, crouching to take the impact of the fall, and move forward. Lance keeps his eyes on the sonar and infrared panels, silently begging for some activity to show them where the bastard Kaiju are before a surprise attack.

“400 meters and closing to the last drop,” Pidge says over the otherwise silent comms.

Lance gets a flicker of movement on his sonar, and he stops walking, pulling Keith to a stop too. He turns, and even though the sonar isn’t the same as having their normal vision, it’s easier to see their surroundings at this depth. And like he thought, just at the edge of their line of sight, there’s something, a dark, large shape, moving.

“The breach is opening again!” Hunk says, almost shouts, ripping through the silence on the comms. “Prepare for a triple event!”

Victory Pallas is in front of them by—a lot. Lance hadn’t realized that they had fallen so far behind so quickly.

“What do you see?” Keith asks.

Lance shakes his head as the activity from the infrared disappears.

“Something’s not right,” Allura says, and her voice is on edge too.

Just as they’re turning to look back at the breach toward Victory Pallas, the biggest Kaiju that Lance has ever seen emerges out of the crevice. It easily dwarfs Leatherback, the Cat 5 Kaiju he and Keith fought a few weeks ago. It keeps coming, it’s never-ending, and it looms over Victory Pallas. It has to be a Cat 6, maybe even more.

Keith kicks them into action, drawing Lance out of his shock at the sight of the Kaiju. He says, “Victory, we see them. We’re about 100 meters behind you. We’re going to come around your 3 o’clock, try to flank them. Just keep it busy for two minutes—”

The activity on his infrared scanner catches Lance’s attention before Keith can finish his sentence.

“Keith!” Lance shouts, turning and drawing his attention toward the Kaiju right as it rams into their left side.

He can’t tell which Kaiju it is—either Scunner or Raiju—but it doesn’t matter. The attack catches them off guard, and Lance and Keith wrestle with it, trying to grab for its triangular shaped head as it spews Kaiju blue at them.

“Form sword!” Keith shouts, and Lance slams his hand down to their weapon deployment, forming the sword in their right hand.

They step in close to the Kaiju, but when it circles them too quickly to match, its jaws chomp down onto Renegade’s right arm, above the elbow, and take it right off.

Keith and Lance start screaming. Pain rips through the drift, utter, chaotic pain, and Lance feels like his own arm has been ripped off too.

Then, out of the cloud of pain in the drift, Lance hears Shiro’s voice, the one from Keith’s memories, the one that always surfaces in the drift.

_Keith, listen to me—_

“NO!” Keith shouts, breaking off the voice in the drift. He grabs Lance and hauls him back up through the drift, back to the bridge of their neural connection, and when Lance opens his eyes, they’re still in Renegade Dawn’s cockpit.

Lance sobs, holding onto his shoulder, pushing back against the pain, shoving it down, down, down. There’s no room for it, not here, not now.

He straightens on his gyro-stabilizers, going back to their weapon deployment and forming their other chainsword in their left arm just as the Kaiju attacks again.

It bites down on their leg, and Lance grits his teeth, smothering the scream threatening to claw up his throat, and Keith sounds the same as he yells, “Let’s get this son of a bitch!”

They grab for it, and Lance and Keith thrust their chainsword forward, piercing the Kaiju’s back and dragging it along the ocean floor. Before they can make the kill, it gets free and hauls ass out of their grip.

Voices shout at them through the comms, and Lance winces.

“Renegade, it’s coming up on your 12 o’clock, full speed!” Pidge shouts. “Get out of the way!”

“Fuck that,” Keith growls, and they bend down into a crouch, brandishing their sword at the Kaiju swimming directly for them.

Their chainsword pierces the Kaiju’s mouth, and its momentum propels it forward, right down their blade. They hold their position, ducking down further and thrusting their sword up into the Kaiju’s body, both of them yelling at the strain, and it separates into two halves around them, body thudding to the ocean floor.

Lance takes a breath. One down, two to go.

There’s a brief pause, and Lance uses it to take stock of their surroundings. Keith is catching his breath too, looking over the damage on their right side and sealing up the last of the open ports so their hull won’t be flooded with water.

On the sonar in front of them, Lance can see that both of the Kaiju have backed off of Victory Pallas for the time being, probably learning enough from their fighting style and planning to launch another attack soon. They need to get to them now and kill the other two before it is too late to finish the mission. 

“Status report, Victory!” Coran’s voice is rough and angry, through the comms.

Pidge reports, “Our hull is compromised, half of our systems are offline—”

Lance sees it on the sonar before Pidge finishes the status report. The larger Kaiju launches itself forward to attack Victory, and they struggle with it violently. The second Kaiju, the one that had been on them, circles off toward Victory too.

They’re too far to help. They have to get there.

Pidge and Allura scream through the comms, something undoubtedly gone wrong, and it feels like ice sloshes down Lance’s spine as he listens to it.

“Hang on, Victory,” Lance grunts, “we’re coming to you.”

“Wait, Lance!” Allura calls, voice wrecked. “Don’t come! Wait!”

Keith shakes his head, and they drag themselves forward on Renegade’s crippled leg, using their sword as support.

“We’re coming,” Lance argues.

Pidge shouts next, “Renegade is nuclear! Take her to the breach!”

There’s a pause, and on the sonar, Lance sees both of the Kaiju back off from Victory, heading in opposite directions, preparing for another attack. Dread settles in the pit of Lance’s stomach.

“No!” Coran yells, desperate. “You would never survive the explosion!”

Lance and Keith realize what they’re talking about a second later, and Lance feels like he’s going to be sick.

They’re going to set off the nuke. While they’re still in their Jaeger.

“There’s a remote detonation in Central Command, right Hunk?” Pidge asks. “There has to be a backup in case something happened to me and Allura.”

“I have an ignition trigger here,” Hunk agrees, monotone. “I can do a remote detonation, but Coran is right, there’s no way you’ll survive.”

“We might in the escape pods,” Pidge counters. “They’re made out of the same material as Victory and reinforced twice as much. It might work.”

“And you might be completely obliterated and blown to dust if it doesn’t,” Coran argues. “Do not set off that bomb.”

Allura yells next, probably noticing them still walking toward Victory, “Lance! Take Renegade to the breach. You and Keith can finish this.”

“We’re a walking nuclear reactor,” Keith says, out of breath. His eyes are wide, “We can destroy the breach.”

Lance nods and stares at Keith for a moment, not near long enough but it’s as long as they have anyway. He can’t believe they’re here right now, stuck at the very bottom of the world, struggling to walk in a mangled Jaeger and listening to Pidge and Allura’s last words before they blow themselves to fucking pieces.

Because it’s his job, Lance says, “Heading for the breach.”

“No!” Coran objects again, “Do not set off the nuke!”

“It’s the only chance we have, Coran,” Allura replies. “Victory Pallas is going down, but we can pave the way for Renegade Dawn.”

Tears prick Lance’s eyes, but he grits his teeth and keeps his eyes forward as they stumble to the drop off that leads down to the breach.

“Pidge, you’re my co-pilot,” Allura says again, and Lance can hear a smile in her voice, knows exactly what it looks like too, a soft, sad smile. “What do you say?”

“Well, it’s like my father always said,” Pidge replies, her voice strong, sure, and Lance’s tears drip down his face at how young she is, at how willing she is to go down for this, “when you have a shot, you should take it.”

Allura breathes a laugh, and Lance muffles a sob. She says, “My father had a saying that was very similar, Pidge. Let’s do this.”

“Hunk, start remote detonation,” Pidge orders.

“Lance.”

He shakes his head. Allura’s voice is soft.

“Lance,” she says again, “can you hear me?”

“No,” he replies. He doesn’t want to do this.

“I love you very much. You’re my co-pilot forever.”

Lance chokes back a sob, “I love you too.”

“Keith?”

“Yes, Allura?” Keith’s voice is—wrecked. There’s no other way to describe it.

“Will you take care of Lance for me?”

Keith looks directly at him, and Lance desperately wishes they were close enough to touch when he says, “I promise.”

“Remote detonation beginning now,” Hunk says shakily. “You have ten seconds to get in the pods.”

“Ejecting now,” Pidge replies.

“It’s been an honor drifting with you all,” Allura says, and there’s another damn smile in her voice. She continues, “See you on the other side.”

“Renegade, you’re about to feel some heat,” Hunk warns. “10 seconds. Both Kaiju converging on Victory’s location.”

Lance moves with Keith, follows his actions because he can’t really feel anything else at this point. Distantly, he hears Hunk say that the pods were ejected but—there’s no way. There’s just no way, and Pidge and Allura had to have known that.

_I’m with you_ , Keith thinks toward him, shouts at him through the bond, and Lance nods, eyes blurry from tears.

They kneel and shove their chainsword into the ocean floor as far as it will go, and Lance holds on tight, ducking his head for the incoming heat.

There’s a breath and then—

He feels the bomb instead of seeing it.

The pressure, the heat, it’s almost too much. Keith curls further toward the ground, ducking them against it, and they hold on.

If the heat and pressure of withstanding a nuclear bomb isn’t enough, the millions of tons of water crashing back down onto them is.

Once everything has settled and they can stand, it’s to find more damage.

In the cockpit, the alarms flash and sparks rain down on them from someone above, and Renegade’s AI hums, “All systems critical. Fluid loss substantial.”

Lance runs another check behind her systems as the AI continues. He winces and confirms, “All systems critical. Fuel is leaking. Our right leg’s crippled, right arm destroyed. Code red.”

Keith lets out a breath at his side.

“Let’s fucking do this,” Lance says, anger and rage ramming back into him, renewing his energy. He can’t believe it’s come to this. Fuck the Kaiju and fuck the war. He’s ending this _today._

They stumble forward, picking up the Kaiju carcass that’s left behind. They grasp it in their only hand and move forward, closing in on the breach ahead of them.

Keith nods once at Lance’s voice and thoughts, “Hunk, we have the Kaiju carcass. Heading for the breach.”

“You guys better be right,” Lance huffs, “because one way or another, we’re finishing it.”

As they close in on the drop to the breach, the Kaiju appears from it, eyes set on them. Rage swarms him. Even a fucking nuke hadn’t been enough to take it down.

Doesn’t matter. He’s ending it.

“On my count, rear jets,” Keith orders. Lance nods, hands going to his control panel.

“Three,” Keith starts.

They take two more steps forward.

“Two.”

Lance and Keith drop the Kaiju carcass, eyes set on a much bigger prize in front of them. They form their chainsword again, holding it at their side.

“One.”

Lance enables Renegade’s rear jets, and the propulsion pushes them forward, flying through the deep water and straight at the Kaiju.

They’re too quick for the Kaiju to move. The roar that it lets out when they grab its neck shakes Renegade’s visor. Lance grits his teeth, and moving together with Keith, they clutch at the Kaiju, pushing it down toward the breach.

“Sword!”

Lance isn’t sure who says it aloud, but they move in the same moment, pulling their chainsword back and driving it through the Kaiju’s overwhelming head.

It roars again, arms and feet scratching at Renegade. Its tail swings toward them, stabbing into Renegade’s lower back, and another round of alarms are triggered in the cockpit. The Kaiju wrestles with them, and Lance looks down to his control panel to see his oxygen levels falling. The left oxygen converter must have been hit.

Keith realizes it too, and Lance feels his breath catch. A groan slips out of his lips at the pressure of holding the Kaiju, and his arm starts trembling.

Keith’s voice is desperate when he shouts, “Hold on, Lance! Hold on!”

Panic swarms the drift, and Lance feels himself push back against it. They need to focus. Keith needs to focus. There’s no room for panic at the bottom of the world. Keith gives him the weight of the sword as he attempts to reroute his own oxygen to Lance’s side, but it’s no use. Those systems were probably already destroyed in the fight.

Lance nods once, takes a deep breath while he still can. When he runs out of oxygen—

The Kaiju pulls back suddenly, one of its arms coming up to swing at their head, and Lance sees an opening.

“ _KEITH!”_ Lance screams, and Keith latches onto the plan immediately.

Together, in one flat second before the Kaiju’s arm collides with their head, Lance and Keith drive their sword directly into the Kaiju’s heart cavity, twisting the blade in tight, shredding its chest.

Lance almost wishes that the interface and visuals were back to normal so that he could look right at this monster’s face and personally send it a final _fuck you._

With the dead Kaiju in their grasp, they fall right through the breach.

It’s quiet.

Renegade’s AI breaks the silence with another update, “Oxygen main, left hemisphere, critical levels. Operating at 15 percent capacity.”

Lance manages another breath. He’s lightheaded. He can vaguely hear the numbers continue dropping.

Keith leans as close as he can on his gyro-stabilizers, and Lance looks up at him when Keith pulls his oxygen line off his own drivesuit and replaces Lance’s.

Lance shakes his head and tries to fight Keith off, tries to push him back, but his arms are weak at his sides. His head and lungs ache. Finally, with Keith’s oxygen line, he can take a breath.

“It’s okay, Lance,” Keith says. “We did it. I can finish this alone. All I have to do is fall.”

Before Lance can argue, his hand comes up to the side of Lance’s helmet, and he smiles. Lance is sure he’s dreaming when Keith says, staring at him softly, “Anyone can fall.”

_Let me stay with you!_ It’s what Lance wants to shout at Keith, wants to scream it until Keith understands. But—his lungs won’t cooperate. He can’t get any words to come out. Instead, he shouts it down the drift, right across their bond.

Keith breathes a careful laugh and says, “I love you. Meant to tell you before this but—I guess this is all we get.”

_No._

Keith smiles, all kinds of soft, and Lance sees everything they could have had in that one second, the one space where he’s still with Keith and they’re together, where they’re still in the drift. Then, he says, “You’ll be okay. I’m right behind you.”

Lance isn’t sure if Keith means it, but he can’t say anything and now, he can’t make any of his thoughts clear enough for Keith to understand in the drift either. His eyes are already closing when Keith presses the ejection sequence on his control panel and loads him into his escape pod.

;;

When Keith was 17 and a few months from graduating high school, he met Shiro on one of the Garrison’s recruitment visits.

It’s strange, thinking back on it now. He’d almost missed the whole thing, and he often wonders what would have happened to him if he had. That day, he’d been suspended for getting into another fist fight, and he’d actually been walking out of the principal’s office to head back to his fourth foster home that year when he bumped into Shiro.

It was like the universe had put him there, in that moment.

Shiro caught him when he stumbled, and the principal was running out of his office then, telling Shiro not to waste his time, that there were more promising students he had in mind for the tests.

“I don’t know,” Shiro had said, and Keith would never forget the way he’d looked at him that day, like he knew something Keith didn’t, like he could see that he was worth something. “Seems like he has plenty of potential. The Garrison admires strength, even a little bit of rebellion sometimes.”

At that, the principal had been forced to let Keith run the pilot simulator, and when he’d broken all the levels, surpassing every single other student in the group, Shiro had smirked and nodded, like he’d known exactly what would happen when Keith got on the simulator in the first place.

Everything happened so fast after that. Shiro became his mentor and convinced him to send in an application to the Garrison. Once he’d submitted it, a few days after running the simulator, it hadn’t even taken a full day to get it back; that afternoon, Shiro had turned up at his school and congratulated him, Keith’s acceptance letter in hand.

It was odd, Keith thought, seeing someone happy for him, proud of him, excited for him. He hadn’t had anything like that since his parents were alive, and it’d been a long time since then.

The first year at the Garrison was rough. Keith had a hard time adjusting to everything there, and even though he had a lot of natural talent and could keep up in his classes, he couldn’t handle the people around him. It was too much all the time, but Shiro kept him grounded.

In his second year in the Garrison, Shiro crashed a jet, and they removed him from piloting. It nearly destroyed him, but finally the Garrison let him take the test for drift ability. When he passed, they reassigned him to a Shatterdome in Hong Kong for training.

It’d devastated Keith at first, but the look on Shiro’s face, the hope and excitement, made it worth it.

“I want you to take the test when they offer it,” Shiro insisted when he was leaving, hand heavy on Keith’s shoulder. “I have a good feeling about it.”

Keith worked harder than he ever had in his life, and when he passed the test and they confirmed his drift ability, he’d Skyped Shiro excitedly.

Then—Lance.

It’d put a minor wrinkle in his excitement. He’d been watching Lance for three years now, desperately wanting to be friends with him, and when Lance had acted like such an asshole and they crashed their drift attempt, Keith latched onto the way Lance obviously hated him and went along with it.

After, he’d been told there was a pilot they thought he’d be drift compatible with at a Shatterdome already, one who was waiting for a co-pilot, and Keith had been so upset with everything about Lance that he didn’t even realize what was happening until Shiro was standing in front of him and someone was introducing them as potential co-pilots.

It’d been the best thing to ever happen to him.

He and Shiro absolutely _crushed_ their training. The Shatterdome in Hong Kong became the first real home Keith ever had, and then when Black Paladin was finished (who was supposed to be _red_ , but Keith guessed it worked out), he found another home inside the cockpit too.

The first deployment he and Shiro landed was another one of the best moments of his life. When they had taken down the Kaiju successfully, Keith finally felt like he had found the reason he was born, to fight Kaiju and defend the world from the cockpit of a Jaeger.

They piloted for years. Black Paladin became the strongest Jaeger to ever exist, shattering all previous records, and Keith had a fucking blast. The only Jaeger that could even keep up with them was Sunshine Riptide, piloted by none other than Lance Sanchez.

Shiro made fun of him for it, constantly. Then, when Shiro developed the biggest crush to ever exist on Allura, Lance’s co-pilot, he made Keith talk to Lance so he could spend time with Allura.

The first couple of times they met up, Keith hadn’t really known where they stood. But then, Lance kept up their stupid “rivalry,” which infuriated Keith to no end. Lance was stupid, idiotic, attractive as hell. It made Keith’s blood boil.

But Shiro and Allura kept getting closer, and Shiro begged Keith to tone it down, to actually talk to Lance instead of just fighting with him all the time. Before Keith could really commit, they got sent out on a deployment, and they didn’t come back.

It was—excruciating. Keith’s dreams were permanently haunted by it.

He ran from the hospital as soon as he could walk, and he didn’t look back.

After disappearing for three years, hiding in the desert and torturing himself with the past, a chopper landed in the open space next to his shack, and Coran climbed out, eyebrows raised, arms folded behind his back. He’d stepped inside the shack, and when Keith finally asked what the hell he was doing here, Coran said they needed him, said there was a pilot at the Shatterdome in Hong Kong that he might be drift compatible with and that they needed him to come back and help win the war.

And then for some damn reason, like he hadn’t given enough of himself away for the world, he climbed into that chopper with Coran and went right back to what he’d been hiding from.

Maybe it was because half of him expected to see Shiro standing there waiting on him, just like it’d happened when he was a fucking kid.

Shiro hadn’t been there, but Lance Sanchez was.

It felt like the universe was laughing at him. It’d pulled him back to one of the only places he’d ever felt like was a home to him and then shoved him into this strange reality where he was drift compatible with Lance, where he was supposed to get along with him, where he was supposed to pilot with him, where he was supposed to save the fucking world with him.

He pushed back against it as much as he could. Lance had Allura. They were happy. And even if they hadn’t been, Keith thought he would never be strong enough to get into another Jaeger. He didn’t know why he’d even come here in the first place.

Keith had packed a bag then, when he realized it was pointless. He was on his way out of the Shatterdome, back to the desert, back to anything but this, when something made him stop and turn back.

To this day, he still isn’t sure what it was. Just a gut feeling, maybe. He took comfort in thinking that it’d been Shiro, trying to guide him from wherever the hell he was now, trying to get him to do the right thing.

Every day after that, after he’d agreed to train with Lance, after they found their bond and started working together, felt like a gift. There were times that Keith felt like it was all a dream, that he’d wake up in the shack one day, staring at the rotting ceiling, sweating from the heat, and aching from the loneliness.

It never happened. Lance became his entire world. In the span of a few weeks, Lance became the most important thing in his life.

It was strange, but Lance kept Keith from pitching off the edge of whatever horrible cliff he’d been standing next to since Shiro had been killed in their Jaeger.

He hadn’t expected anything at all when he came back to the Shatterdome with Coran, back to the war, but somehow, he’d gotten everything he’d ever wanted, everything he’d ever been looking for.

Lance.

Lance and Renegade Dawn.

Now, he’s stuck at the bottom of the Earth, even farther below actually, in a non-operational Jaeger, and he’s falling directly into the pits of hell.

He’s going to blow it sky-motherfucking-high. There won’t be anything left when he finishes with them.

He watches Lance’s pod exit through Renegade’s head, and once he’s sure it’s going back up through the breach, back up to the sun and the sky where Lance belongs, he turns to the control panel and presses the self-destruction sequence.

“Marshall,” he huffs, already fighting against the lack of oxygen, “if you can hear me, I’m activating detonation now.”

An error message flares on the screen, and Renegade’s AI hums, “Manual activation required.”

Keith laughs, pressing a hand to the side of his helmet. Fuck. He should have expected that. A final _fuck you_ from the universe, he guesses.

So be it. Nothing’s going to stop him from finishing this. He and Lance came too far, and he promised he’d take care of this. Dying wasn’t an option, and neither was quitting.

Keith presses the release sequence for his gyro-stabilizers and climbs off the pedals, immediately stumbling and crashing into the side of Renegade’s cockpit. There’s a reason that Jaeger pilots never get off the stabilizers, especially when the Jaeger is drifting down through the breach upside-down.

He stumbles, catching himself against the wall, but there’s a loud crash outside as Renegade hits something, and Keith goes flying across the cockpit, scrambling for purchase as he slides over the edge of the landing and hangs down to the gears of Renegade’s inner workings.

He can’t finish the mission if he’s crushed to death in the hull.

Shouting and huffing for breath and the last of his oxygen, Keith hauls himself back up to the landing and stumbles over to the hatch where the nuclear core reactor is stored. He throws the hatch open and begins the sequence.

Renegade’s AI hums, “Manual override initiated. Core meltdown in T-minus 60.”

Sixty seconds to haul ass and get the hell out of here before self-destruction.

He can spare a few moments to make sure it goes right.

Water sprays into the cockpit from the compromised plates on Renegade’s hull, and he gets back to his side of the Jaeger and climbs onto his stabilizers. Renegade’s AI counts down, and Keith uses the rest of their fuel to power the jets and propel them forward.

Once they’d gone through the breach, Keith had switched views again, and now, Renegade’s visor is clear. Outside of the Jaeger, he isn’t sure what he’s seeing, but it’s bright, and something ahead of him moves.

It’s enough for him. He propels the Jaeger forward, getting as close as he can, and when Renegade’s AI hits twenty, he brushes a hand over his control panel and holds on for a second, closing his eyes. This will be the second Jaeger that Keith destroys, the second Jaeger that he pilots on his own.

Lance is somewhere above him. He’s probably to the surface of the Pacific now, safe and sound.

Renegade Dawn means everything to Keith, and he hates that he has to leave her here.

“Thanks, Renegade,” Keith breathes, and he presses the sequence to enable his evac pod.

_Right behind you, Lance,_ he thinks, closing his eyes.

Keith passes out seconds before the explosion destroys whatever it is that exists beneath the breach.

;;

The evac pod crests the surface of the ocean, and the motion of the waves finally pull Lance back into consciousness.

The front plate of his pod flies off, and he sits up, yanking his helmet off and looking around. He’s in the middle of the ocean. The water is calm, almost flat save for the few small waves that rock his pod. The sun is high, and the sky is perfectly clear.

It’s so different from the hell they faced at the bottom of the ocean that Lance finds himself wondering if it’s a dream.

Hunk starts talking then, so the comm and tracking systems on his suit and pod must still be operational.

“Lance, Lance, do you copy?”

“I copy,” he says, standing up and scanning the horizon. He doesn’t see any other pods. He doesn’t see Keith—

“Okay, your vital signs look good from here. We’re dispatching the choppers now, so just hang tight,” Hunk replies.

“Hunk, where’s Keith?”

Hunk hesitates and then says, “We’ve got tracking on his pod but no vital signs yet. Give it another minute.”

Lance feels himself start to shake. He doesn’t—he can’t—

Almost a whole minute and a half later, another pod surfaces. Lance’s heart crawls up into his chest, praying that Keith is awake.

The pod doesn’t trigger the tracking system for the pilot, which means that the vital signs on the pod still haven’t registered. Lance waits another few seconds, biting his lip, and pushing down the dread that’s threatening to swallow him.

He gives up on waiting. He dives off into the water, cutting through it with his front crawl and making his way to Keith’s pod. When he gets there, he hauls himself up on top of it and looks down at Keith through the transparent front plate. His eyes are closed, face slack, beneath the visor of his helmet.

Lance shakes as he pulls the release on the front plate, and it flies off into the water. Then, he scoots forward and pulls Keith’s helmet off, tossing it away too.

“Keith?” Lance asks, voice shaking. “Keith, baby, wake up.”

Keith doesn’t move.

Lance reaches for his neck, trying to feel for his pulse, but there’s nothing.

“Lance?” Hunk asks carefully.

His eyes are wide, and his hands shake as he says, “I can’t find his pulse. I don’t think he’s breathing.”

“It could just be the sensors on his suit, keep trying,” Hunk advises.

“Keith,” Lance tries again, pulling him up into a seated position, wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders. Keith’s head falls over onto his shoulder. Lance holds onto him, cradling him, and says, “Keith, don’t do this to me, you stupid bastard. Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me.”

“Lance,” Hunk’s voice is soft through the comms, but Lance doesn’t want to listen. He can’t listen.

Lance shakes his head and pulls Keith even closer, leaning his head against Keith, tears suddenly spilling over and dripping down his cheeks. He can’t do this, he can’t do this, he can’t—

“You’re squeezing me too tight.”

He freezes. Something touches his back.

Lance jerks backward, hanging onto Keith by his shoulders, and when he looks at his face, Keith’s eyes are open.

“I couldn’t breathe,” Keith says gruffly, smiling.

Lance laughs, and later, he’ll think about how crazy it probably sounded, but for now, Keith is alive. Keith is awake. Keith is breathing.

They’re alive. They did it.

Lance leans forward, pressing his forehead to Keith’s. He takes a breath, clutching at Keith’s shoulders, unwilling to let go.

Before they can do anything else, Lance hears the announcement through his comms. It’s Coran’s voice, and he says, “This is Marshall Coran Altea. The breach is sealed. Stop the clock!”

There are probably shouts of excitement and loud celebrating back in Central Command and throughout the Shatterdome in Hong Kong. This is what they’ve all been waiting for. The war is over.

Here, in the middle of the ocean with Keith, all Lance can manage is a shaky smile.

Keith shifts, moving onto his knees and leaning closer to Lance where he’s straddling the top of the pod. Keith’s hands catch his hips and drag him forward a little bit more, and Lance goes willingly, pressing against Keith and letting his eyes close.

“We did it,” Keith murmurs a few seconds later.

“You did it,” Lance corrects, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Shiro would be proud of you. I’m proud of you too.”

Keith hums, “Do you think they’ll build us a new Jaeger?”

Lance pulls back enough to open his eyes and look at him as he asks, “Why would we need one?”

“Because there’s no way in hell I’m done drifting with you.”

Lance laughs, loud, and the rest of his tears drip down his face. He can’t believe this—

One of Keith’s hands comes up to cradle his jaw, and Lance puts his own hand over it, blinking the last of the tears away.

“I almost lost you,” Lance breathes.

“You didn’t,” Keith argues, voice gentle. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re mine.”

“That right?”

“Mmm. You said you were opposed to first times against brick walls outside of clubs, but you never said anything about the evac pods in the middle of the Pacific.”

Lance laughs again, bright, happy, and feels a blush sweep across his face and down his neck. Keith is laughing too, ducking forward to press his nose against Lance’s, eyes crossing to hold the contact.

Hunk’s voice interrupts their moment as he says, “Um, guys, that’s probably not the best idea. I’ve dispatched the choppers for pickup. They should be there in a few minutes, so just hang tight.”

“Ugh gross,” someone complains over the comms system, and their voice is familiar enough that it has Lance leaning back from Keith in shock, eyes wide. “I never want to hear Keith proposition Lance live on the comm system ever again.”

“Pidge?” Lance asks in shock. She’s _alive?_ Does that mean—

“I very much agree with that,” Allura laughs, and Lance feels like he’s going to fall to pieces. They’re _alive._ He doesn’t know how, but he doesn’t care. All that he cares about is the fact that his friends—his family—are alive.

And that they did it. The breach is closed, and the war is over.

He can’t believe it.

Keith laughs again, and the sound is delicate. He pulls Lance back into his chest as he says, “Give us a break. We just saved the whole fucking world.”

Lance laughs into Keith’s chest and holds on to him. The evac pod underneath them rocks with the waves, and the sun is bright on Keith’s face. He’s real, he’s warm, he’s breathing, and he’s here.

“Keith?” Lance whispers.

“Lance,” Keith murmurs.

He nudges his nose against Keith’s and whispers, “I love you.”

The grin that Keith gives him is better than anything he’s ever seen before. Keith replies, “I love you too. More than anything.”

“Kiss me?”

Keith leans back and tilts Lance’s chin up, pulling him into the softest, sweetest kiss Lance has ever been given before. He sighs into it, leaning into him and closing his eyes.

There’s noise over the comm system again, more chatter, and vaguely, he can hear Allura and Pidge laughing, probably making fun of them again, but Keith smiles against his lips and leans in further, getting a hand to the back of his neck to reel him in even more.

Eventually, the choppers will roar overhead and pinpoint their location. They’ll be pulled out of the water and taken back to the Shatterdome, where everyone else is waiting, and they’ll be claimed as heroes. Renegade Dawn might be gone, and the thought stings at Lance’s chest a bit, but her pilots aren’t. He and Keith are right here. Alive. Awake. Together.

Whatever comes next will be easy. They’ve got this.

Lance smiles against Keith’s lips and hauls him closer, kissing him in the middle of the Pacific on top of one of the last pieces of Renegade Dawn.


End file.
